Should I stay in the same town as my husband or move to my hometown?

I think your happiness is essential to the development of your children. So if moving back to where you can get help will make you happy and less stressed I think you should. Especially if your husband is OK with it. It will probably help in the whole seperation process too because you will have a lot more support from people you love and trust.

How can your husband be ok with his kids moving 3000 miles away? What kind of dad is OK with that?

IF this is true then moving might be the best thing for the boys. They don't need such an ambivalent father telling them they don't deserve his love or interest.

IF this is an exaggeration and he would really miss his sons, then you should try harder to make it work where he has access. It might be easier for you, but put yourself in the shoes of the other people who share your life. Would the boys really benefit from only seeing their father once or twice a year?

If the roles were reversed, would you be happy with only two visits a year with your children?

Life is hard sometimes, and the choices we make, like divorce, while the right choice, often come with hard side effects. In your case, you'll both have to work harder at keeping your failed relationship from scaring your children.

Kids usually have a feeling of being abandoned when parents divorce. If they also find themselves on the other side of the country and unable to see that abandoning parent, they can be damaged for life.

So, my advice is obvious. Stay put and make the most of what you have. If child care is an issue, find another parent who needs help with child care too and work a co-op with her. Try your local woman's center for a list of women who are looking to do this, if you don't already know someone.

I'd move home. When my ex and I divorced, I moved back in with my parents since I had been a stay at home mom. It made things so much easier to have that support there. It sounds like you have tons of reasons to move back, and that you want to, you just want someone to give you permission to do it. It is a little harder planning when your ex will have the kids, but the bottom line is that it will be easier on you and your children. I would do it.

It would depend on how deep rooted your feelings are as well as your sense for adventure or change. Some people adjust better to relocation than others. Being that there is a relationship involved, you should consider how solid, strong and genuine your feelings are toward each other, as well as your life that you have established. Making a move like this could turn out to be very positive, but could also end up in disaster. You might want to take the necessary time to consider your options.

Yeah you should it would be easier on you and you would have a support group and the kids would love to be family If you guys are getting a divorce then you really dont have a reason to stay near him

Sounds like moving back to NY would be best for all involved.

Sounds like you might be better off moving back. Good luck.

you just keep trying. remind me of Sust when she said that her favorite startegy is to exhaust the person she wants to influence. I can see where she has got it from (lol).... I survived unimaginable things, this is just an attempt in vain. Kisses

do what you think is best!! u might need your family at this time!! and your kids will still be able to see their dad if you do move!! well good luck!!

Then I would say go for it! I bet it wouldnt take too long before he was right behind you! Men are lost without their women to take care of them!