Not sure what to do ?

If you're refusing to work it out and "for better or worse" means nothing to either of you at this point, there's only one other option and I think you know what that is. Are you asking us how to proceed with a divorce in your specific situation?

I suppose he takes back his three kids, you take custody of the infant. Get an attorney, split the bills, sell the house since neither of you can afford to keep it. You know, the usual.

I know you might not want to hear it, but couples counseling could help a great amount!! I know when people hear the word counseling--they shutter. But I am taking counseling classes right now at college and they are so helpful. You need to lay it out for your husband and tell him what you’re feeling. You both need to try and stay calm and talk without yelling or fighting. If you feel that nothing is going to help or work then girl you know what you need to do. You cannot always fix everything, sometimes you just need to be straight forward and tell him you have had enough and have him make the next step or tell him you’re leaving. You should never be treated like this. He needs to realize he has problems too and that turning everything around and back on you is so not helpful. Having an outside party such as a counselor will help show both of you what things you can work on to communicate better so when you have fights you both can communicate better. Maybe the counselor could even help your husband see that he is not owning up to his responsibilities and puts all the blame back on you. I think he needs to step it up and be responsible for his children too and for him not to do that on his own is so ridiculous. Either way, whatever you decide to do just make sure it will make you happy. Staying in a relationship just for the children is unhealthy and you need to do what is best for you and your sanity. If you are not happy then things will never work. You cannot always work everything out.

If you don't want to work it out, get your own place. That shouldn't be so hard, since you are making more money than he does. You don't have to put up with anything, if you can't handle it. It is very unhealthy for all the kids to see you fighting all the time. Kids should feel safe at home and should not be victims of your fights.

If you are constantly fighting over money, you should stick to a budget and don't rub it in, that you are making more money than he does. Maybe, you make him feel incompetent.

girl my best friends in the same exact situation. this is crazy my heart dropped when i read your question.she leaving him thats what shes doing a woman can only take so much. shes saving her money and leaving him and everything about him behind the relationship with him and his kids. has nothing to do with what happens between you guys so dont ever do that but. when your in a situation like this it hurts when you've been with some one so long and some times people dont wanna be alone. but no one can tell you when your ready to leav him you have to make thaat decision on your own because the more everyone tells you not to do something the more your gonna do it. good luck if i were you id toughen up and take my kids and leave. it will hurt at first but you'll be happy when you get over it

Sounds like you work full time and care for four kids, only one of them is even yours. That is a handful Plus when you get home, you have your home and cooking, etc. I did that too, but my ex's never worked....all the stress was on me...I worked, came home, cooked, cleaned, got no help. I think maybe you need to think about your future. something is not right in your picture, I think blaming you for things is just an excuse for something else he is resenting. You could get a smaller apartment, and just have one child to think about. Sell the house and split the proceeds.

your the same age as i am,and unfortunately I'm going to tell you that this has happened to me and my husband.last year i left him b/c i couldn't handle the drama and etc,in our relationship..then i came back with our kids 2 months later,we worked things out and then we got married,etc.eventually it all began again..so i told him our finances are driving us away and a few other issues..but we survived and worked it out,though,a marriage is built on strength,communication and love,the issues have fallen in one of them categories,i think you 2 should work it out and try and seek counseling,if this doesn't work and in your heart you honestly know its not going to work,then leave and live your life with your child the best way u can..but I'm telling you right now its NOT going to be EASY trying to get money from your ex-hubby that already has 3 kids of his own to help support the child you and him have t/g..anyway,hope this works 4 ya!

Well if you don't want to work it out then doesn't that leave divorce? Ask for a divorce and maybe if you two can get along well enough you can have one lawyer and make it easier. A rough divorce with each having their own attorneys gets mighty ugly and costly.

The saying goes like this: It's not if you can live without the other person, It's can you LIVE WITH the other person, the only thing your child will learn is this, What he sees & hears going on with his parents, don't let your child believe that's how a marriage is to be like.

choices...

1 - leave him and take your baby with you

2 - move somewhere you can afford

3 -

it seems like your issues are bigger than the prima faci...

i was in your positions (similar) and i left her... she was doing my head in, but i had no child to take with me...

if you think the kids will suffer try nr 2 first..

if not - DO IT - you sounds nice, and you will meet someone else and get over it within 24 months... xx

good luck !