What can we do to help raise awareness that DV is an issue for men as well?

Tera, thank you for recognizing that it does effect men too. I have been trying to educate people to this fact since 1999. Most do not want to hear it.

Although domestic violence is a human problem, there are those who have made it an industry and although many will refuse to believe it, there is a lot of money to be made from it.

Congress has passed the Violence Against Women Act three times (it is renewed every five years) It is a billion dollar a year endevor that has helped very few. In fact, there is strong reason to believe it has harmed more women then it has helped.

Unbiased research also shows a far different story then what we hear on the news. Although we are often told that 95% of all domestic violence victims are women...at least half are men. If we do not look at both sides of this problem, we will make the situation worse.

New 2006 DOJ stats on domestic violence

http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/bjs/intimate/injury.htm

http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/bjs/intimate/report.htm

Many locations have must arrest policies which state that if police are called to a domestic disturbance, someone has to be arrested. In almost all of these situations it is the man that is arrested even if he is the only one battered. This of course would throw the real stats off greatly as you can see here:

http://www.shatterdmen.com/pagetwo.htm

Tens of thousands of people and many organizations tried to get Congress to make a gender neutral domestic violence act but only gender feminsit were allowed at the table to discuss what was needed. I wonder why they were so adament at keeping it only focused on women?

Would we support a Racial policy if only the KKK were able to give imput on what was needed? Why accept a domestic violence policy with only one side represented?

I personally sent over $100 of information (counting postage) to Congress regarding the VAWA but I did get several replies..thanking me for my SUPPORT of the VAWA. This is proof beyond doubt that they did not READ what was sent and I do not believe most of them have read what is in the VAWA

http://www.shatterdmen.com/VAWA%20too.htm

The Violence Against Women Act

Please note that although the feminist claim the VAWA is gender neutral, I urge you to read for yourself and decide for yourself if it is indeed gender neutral

Also please note who had a major part in writing this act:

Senator Joseph Biden, the Delaware Democrat who once chaired the Senate Judiciary Committee, first proposed the VAWA in 1990. The bill was a collaborative effort, with key roles played by Victoria Nourse, then Senate Judiciary Committee counsel, and Sally Goldfarb, then NOW Legal Defense and Education Fund (NOW LDEF) staff attorney. A broad range of feminist groups offered input and support, and NOW LDEF's Pat Reuss lent lobbying expertise.

Radical feminist wrote this act. Would not this be like asking the klu klux klan to write laws concerning racial relations?

I ask you to substitute the word "women" in any of this with Black, Asians, or any other group. Would it be fair? Would it be Just? Would it stand the test of the Equal protection clause of the

CONSTITUTION OF THE UNITED STATES

Amendment XIV

Section 1. All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the state wherein they reside. No state shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any state deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.

We need to value ALL our people. The VAWA values only half of us.

Shattered Men works with a peer support group that has been helping BOTH men and women since 1999. We have both those who have been abused and some abusers and both have been helped.

This is such a difficult issue. I'm willing to stick out my neck and claim that although there are definitely men suffering DV, the number is nowhere near proportionate to women.

Legislation has always been a problem, because there are people who will abuse it for their own ends. There are women doing this every day and I'm sure some men would abuse it too given the chance.

The problem with violence against men is that it has always been of the hidden variety: a lot of mental torment and the physical injuries are often small and cumulative rather than something you could march down to the police station with and file a complaint; and how many men file a complaint anyway?

The fact is that more women than men end up on mortuary slabs every year as a result of being routinely beaten by partners. I wouldn't advocate anything that removes any protections to reduce this.

Most of the work for men must be to change the public perception and the perceptions of law and the police who seem to have an inbuilt notion that all DV occurrences are male on female, leading to automatic arrest of males. The idea is supposedly to remove the element most likely to cause harm, but this is a prejudiced infringement of rights.

As an aside: the rule of thumb law (that a man could beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb) was always a myth in English law. The problem was that it was always taken as a truth and the thickness of the stick never mattered anyway. The desire to accept this regardless says a lot about DV.

Great question and a very sad one. Men are particularly marginalised when seekin assistance and support for themselves and often their children in relation to Domestic Violence. Services simply do not exist there is litte or no infrastructure of even acknowledgement that Domestic violence is perpetrated against men and boys. By raising this question you are assisting to address the issue it becomes part of our thinking and we incorporate this injustice into our values and what we demand as fair and right in our communities. There is a long way to go with this issue we need to broaden our discourse( in particular legal ) , and our service planning to include mens experience in a real way not just as an academic acknowledgement of violence perpetuated in the home/relationships against men and boys. We also need to call it when we see it and support the men and boys in our lives.

DV is an issue for people! Men and women both give and receive it so I don't see why we can't work together to stop it. Can you link that story for us?

I really wish we could move towards having the perspective of DV be that of a gender neutral crime. I think these walks and whatnot should be specifically for Domestic Violence. Hitting your partner in anger is unacceptable behavior for civilized society. If you have children teach them that it's wrong - that's probably the easiest thing each person can do in their own lives.

Thanks Tera :)

Rob...LOL

I think that DV effects way to many people for it to have gender based help centers. I think that both men and women need to start treating it as exactly what it is, abuse. People tend to have this notion that its not as bad because he's a man and can take it, even police don't take it seriously.

I think a lot of people are aware of it, I just don't think they care. So sad.

Edit,

Things need to change from the inside out. Starting with laws and programs, If there were place for people to go and seriously talk about these issues to both men and women it would hopefully create acceptance and understanding.

6:23 AM 4/5/2008

We continue to look at this as a symptom rather than things nearer to the cause.

We talk about school violence

We talk about work place violence

We talk about domestic violence

We talk about gang violence

We talk about violence against the elderly

We talk about violence against children.

I see a general ability to rationalize violence.

The last 8 years particularly seem to have legitimized an amazing degree of violence.

Justice Approved "Harsh" Interrogations

About - News & Issues, NY - Apr 2, 2008

... the White House has released the 2003 torture document written by John C. Yoo, then the second-highest ranking official at the Office of Legal Counsel. ...

==========================================

John Choon Yoo (born 1967 in Seoul) is an American professor of Law at the Boalt Hall School of Law, University of California, Berkeley, known for his work from 2001 to 2003 in the United States Justice Department's Office of Legal Counsel,[1] assisting the Attorney General in his function as legal adviser to President Bush and all the executive branch agencies.He contributed to the PATRIOT Act and wrote memos in which he advocated the possible legality of torture and that enemy combatants could be denied protection under the Geneva Conventions.[2] Yoo has also worked as a visiting scholar at the conservative think tank American Enterprise Institute since 2003.

===============================================

Legal Arguments for Avoiding the Jurisdiction of the Geneva ...

John C. Yoo and James C. Ho, "International Law and the War on Terrorism," University of California, Berkeley, August 1, 2003. ...

===================================================

I am not claiming that this is an American phenomena, though I do believe that we have the most hope of changing things at home first.

For those Americans whose forbears came from England, at that time England HUNG PEOPLE

FOR A LOAF OF BREAD. The U.S. Navy at one used punitive amputation and tattooing as punishments.

We've SLAVED.

We've burned witches.

We've burned Indians.

The rule of thumb about BEATING YOUR WIFE, clearly institutionalized violence.

How long ago was it repealed?

We live in a violent world. Social progress has changed much of the need for this in day to day affairs, Most people no longer need to hunt to eat, most people do not wander in armed groups nor do most have to kidnap to procreate.

Yet emotionally we seem to still be stuck in that mind set. Our attitude toward crime and prisons is a good example. We dont seem to see the need to help only to punish.

This arguably feeds a vicious circle. People feel that they are treated unfairly, or

punished more than their infraction warrants and so that THEY have been harmed and therefore want to punish someone else to redress the balance. Sometimes tradition can be seen as merely habit.

We have a habit of violence. Period. Across the board.

We need to see agression as the LAST RESORT, not the first.

When that happens I feel that we will see a decrease in violence across the board.

More men need to report it and not be afraid to report just because of their male ego. No support groups exist for men to get help. They have to rely on crisis centers. The same support that is given to women should be given to men. It needs to be taken seriously for men. The problem exists that men often don't get the same injuries as severe from DV as a women would from a man. It goes more unnoticed. More publicity and funds need to directed to men's issues.

Good question. many Men are abused everyday. and they do NOT report it because they would be the ones going to jail. it's not fair but there are groups trying to get the word out for Men. there are Women who are trying to help.

I just wish i could do more my own dad has been abused by my mom. but like i have said many times before he abuses her also. we also need to learn abuse is A HUMAN problem NOT a gender problem. Great question God Bless

@TERA, here's the link to the video that you're talking about.

http://www.yahoo.com/s/850226

Consider all the help, resources and support that women are getting from the government. I honestly don't understand why those men are wasting their time.

As for your second question. It would help if feminist stop protesting when men speak out and voicing their concern.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=qodygTkTUYM

Very difficult unless you can measure and prove mental and emotional abuse. An enormous amount of damage can be done to another over time with passive aggressive tactics such as silent treatment, withholding, nitpicking/nagging, rumor spreading, using children as weapons and so on.