I am so frustrated with churches!?

unfortunately there are people in some churches who are legalistic. They believe that God judges us on our outward appearance but oh how untrue. Read God's word and see what He says. It is not what is on the outside but it is what is in your heart. Your relationship with God is not based on clothes, hair, jewelry or how much money we have. God is not impressed by any of those things. He created all things so why would that impress Him? We will get His attention when we pray and seek Him. It doesn't matter what we look like, when we call out to Him in all sincerity He will answer.

Read Matthew chapter 7: 1-20 Jesus was explaining how the people was making up their own laws and what they thought would defile a person and Jesus explains what defiles a person. As with gossip that is the same as trying to judge someone and we are not a person's judge. Only God can judge us. Matthew 7:1-6. Being a gossip makes you a poor friend who can't be trusted. I like Proverbs 18:8 What dainty morsels rumors are-but they sink deep into one's heart. How can a person call themselves a christian and want to speak words that would hurt another. As for tithing, God didn't ask us to give because He needed it (He owns the cattle on a thousand hills) it was to show our obedience to Him that we trust Him to supply all our needs. Any pastor or minister who tells you the more you give will help you receive "Stuff" from God is only wanting your money for himself. He certainly isn't giving you the answers from the bible. God will supply your every need and give you the desires of your heart if you have given your life to Him. Please don't let those experiences with those churches you attended keep you from finding a church to go to. If you pray, God can show you where to go. Fellowship with other true believers is something we need to help us in our daily walk. People can pray for you and encourage you. Worshiping God with other believers can be very good. In spite of what you seen, there are TRUE CHRISTIANS out there who want to help you and really love God. I hope this encourages you to find somewhere to go.

yes! yes! YES! i feel the exact same way. you are not alone. i haven't been a member of a church since 2004. giving is what God wants us to do but i learned a while ago that the holy spirit will never pressure you to do anything. the church was more into having you look holy than living holy. it was horrible. i just have to pray for them. i was homeless. i was a giver in the church and when i needed help they were not there. God was there but the church that i had faithfully given to did not help me in my time of need. i said that i will never be a member of another church if i don't see them give. it's not about inreach but it should be about outreach. my question at the time was WHAT IS THE PURPOSE of the church. my former pastor said that he had to help people in pakistan, haiti and africa. i thought charity began at home. i forgive him(them).

i don't believe that we will be cursed if we don't tithe. i don't believe that tithing is required now. jesus came to set an example and i don't recall him paying or receiving tithes. i won't do it. i will give to those who need it or to be a blessing to others. it's a shame when you tell a pastor that your neigbhors lights are being turned off and you ask him if you can give your tithe to the neighbor instead....then he replies by saying no you can't and should not ever think about giving your tithe to someone outside the church. that woman was exiled from her church because she wanted to help a neighbor with a greater need. wwjd??? the bible says give to the poor not the rich. my former pastor is very wealthy! i just don't understand why the church is so cold and there seems to be no love in the church today.

You've had two bad experiences with churches and I can definitely relate. More than once I've switched churches - primarily because I can't stand what goes on inside of the walls.

It has taken me several years to find a church that I'm comfortable with. I attend a Wesleyan church and really like their theology and the people there. Our church has an offering, but it's done during our greeting time. The plates are on a table in the sanctuary and we know where the plates are located, but because everyone is milling around, no one knows who does or does not put money into the collection plate.

Also, we have food on the table in the foyer that anyone can help themselves to. It's done so that we have more chances to get to know one another.

We use the Bible and several scriptures where we follow along, but the church also preaches from a practical aspect - thnigs you can use as you grow in the Lord.

No, you're not alone. You might enjoy an "emergent" church experience, which cuts out all the bull.

I'm saying this as a "church person" -- too many churches have failed to live out Christ's commandment to love people and share the good news of the gospel.

The church I attend actually holds a class for people who have had a harmful church experience. Isn't it sad that such a class had to even be offered?!

Read "When Bad Christians Happen to Good People." Actually ALL Christians should read this book!

Don't feel alone in your feeling. My mom went to 12 years of Catholic school, became a nun in a convent and became a sister of social service. But after seeing so many "crazy things" and seeing people in the priesthood go against what they preached my mom let go or the church organizations... However she did not give up on the church teachings. I myself went to Catholic school but felt the same way about the church like yourself because of things I experienced from an early age. I have come to the conclusion that for me, I can be just as close to God in a volunteer center or on a picnic with loved ones on a Sunday as I would be in a church. For others they love the church without question and thats fine. Just know that priest all rin their ministery in different ways and keep your faith but don't base it on how much you go to church because that is between you and your higher power.

A man, tired of getting up early and going to Church decided to stay home on week. One week became four and soon he just read the Bible a bit when he woke up on Sunday and said some prayers as his 'church' and went about his day.

Finally his old priest came to his home. The man let him in, though neither said a word. They sat by the fire for a moment in silence. Then the priest leaned forward and pulled a branch, crackling and burning brightly, from the fire and set it on the tile in front of the fire.

Slowly the branch withered and grew dim till the fire went out. The priest then took the branch and put it back into the fire. In a moment it was crackling and burning brightly again. They stood and walked to the door.

"Well Father, you preach a fiery sermon. I'll see you in Church on Sunday," said the Man.

We need Church. Every church will have hypocrites and fakers and people who are just annoying, and sometimes that person is the pastor, but we need Church or we'll eventually loose our faith.

If you find the right Church, the Church will help you grow as a Christian and be there to support you. I would suggest go make a list of Churches in your area, and go visit. Pray that God shows the Church you belong at. I hated going to church before I found another Church. You are never going to find a Church were there are no gossips, but should be able to find one that fits you better then these two. Try different denominations.

Sounds like your frustrated with people, not necessarily Churches. If you want to have a Church go to others til you find a community that fits you. IF you don't then don't. No need to make a big deal about it. I am sure if you look at it there are a lot of people that frustrate you both in and out of Churches. Would you say you werer frustrated with a company, college or anything else because you ran into people you did not agree with?

I haven't attended a "Church" since 1996 or so and I am doing just fine in my relationship with God. You would be surprised how many believers feel the same way. Not discourages, but fed up and working out their relationships with the Almighty on their own....after all, we are all responsible for our own salvation after we learn the truth.............

You basically went to a church that was not focused on meeting your spiritual needs. Glad you got away from it.

If you come back, find a church that is better for you.

Matt