Help me!!! It is soooo hard for me to move on?

first you have to deal with the past...... and finally come to the conclusion.... that it is past.... you relationship is over.... there is no hope of resurrecting it...... then you slowly put the other out of your mind..... realizing that there are still plenty of available people who can be very loving to you out there........ waiting for someone like you to come along.

then you finally decide to go out and meet some of these wonderful people...... and live happily ever after.

Don't try too hard to move on. When you try too hard, that's when you get stuck. If it's been three years since your separation and you're still not over him then that means that you're still in love with him. Do you want to be over him? If you do then just give it time. When you are over him, you will know but a separation isn't a divorce. Of course you still love him very much, one reason because legally you're still married. If you just think about what you're doing separated, then maybe you can move pass him. Dating other people and flirting with other guys is not a good way to move on. That just creates more problems. If you face the fact and stop trying to cover it up, then maybe you will find a way to understand how to move on.

Well, I went through a traumatic break up a bit over two years ago, and I am still in the process of healing and still hurt from this trauma. I did not want the break-up but he did. I will never really understand what happened. I think if we try to understand why the break up happened then we can heal some. In my case, I do not really understand and so I am unable to heal and move on. I have been helped by friends and my friends have tried to help me to heal to try and forget the nightmare. My family was zero help. Just try to realize these nightmares happen to all.Good Luck and I hope your case woks out better than mine. Maybe I will never heal???

hi,

i think you should find a ssupport group or if oyu have siblings or friends whom you can confide in ., it's worth talking to them about it and relasing your hurts and disappointmetns.

it takes time really. you probably haven't given yourself time.

you need to make some changes in your life to stat anew and start living again else you'll always hang onto those yesteryears and they'll keep haunting you as long as you let it.

I dnt have the whole story of what happened but i'd like to adivse you to perhaps make a bold and fresh start by relocating yourself be in your job assignmetn or place of residence. sometimes places and things that are familair have 'spirits of the past' and serve as painful reminders of the yesteryears.

you alos need to get yourself involved in social activites like joining a group so that you can meet new people and make new friedns and this could help influence your outlook and emtional well being. Perhaps you maty want to consider a change in your career or take up a new hobby that will keep you focused and give the new found interests.

give yourself a break. Paln for and take a vacation to someplace that you've never been. go wtih a sibling, friend or loved one or just be bold and go on your own as it'll be an adventure for you.

Basically what i'm saying is that you need a distraction. it's up to you. you need to take that first step and keep walking ..be they big or small steps. never look back and always be forward looknig. by indulging in the 'suggested distractinos' you'll hae a new found focus,confidence and emotional well being and you'll allow yourself to heal and beo on the road to recovery. if you believe in God then you also need to have some quiet time with God and pray resolutely for strength and guidance. You cant ignore the spiritual aspect or makeup of us humans. in the Bilbe we are told that God made us in His image. This means that we are stornger than we know ourseves to be but we only need to turn to God and ask Him for strength to start anew and live life the way He meant for us to live it.

Get a divorce. Seperation gives you hope that things could change.

Honey - if you are still seperated 3 years later that is just not going to happen.

Things are what they are. You no longer have a marriage. You never will if you keep mooning about things you can't have.

Get a divorce and get back out there. Go dating and have fun. You aren't dead so don't live like the dead.

I think that you need to distract yourself with the end goal being that the distractions become your new focus. For example, make new friends, I know easier said then done but once established it will make your mind at ease. Do new things that stretch you as a person. Hang out at different places. Take some chances and treat yourself to something that you may not have done in your past life!

It hurts like hell but here is what my uncle told me :

LIFE GOES ON.

Doesnt matter if you sitting there and feeling sorry for yourself and blame for bad things happened, LIFE STILL GOES ON.

Join a gym.

Go to sporting event.

Get a new hobby.

Do what ever good for you and you will thank yourself later.

As for me personally, I learned about baseball, how to be good with chess, getting new friends on poker game, how to install wooden floor, change the oil in my truck .....

best of all, getting rid of everything that you two have touched or shared. The fast you get rid of them, the faster you will listen to yourself and go out and do things for you!

get a hobby. Read a book. Take a class in the library. Join dancing, yoga classes. Join a Gym. The main idea is keep busy. If you stay idle then you will consntantly think about it.

Yes it is hard to move on - but nobody can do that for you. You need to get your mind off the ex and concentrate on something better - make some changes in your life - now is the time to do it.

What do you do to move on? Are you trying to forget it like "past is past"? Don't do that. Rather than forcing yourself to move on, even it has been 3 years, try to concentrate. Remember the things that have happened. Then, treat them as memorable things that have happened in your love life. It is more pleasant when you remember than forgetting those things. It just hurts you more.

And one more thing, never forget. I hope I helped something.

Just take it one day at a time, promise yourself you will get over it. I can't imagine going through what you are going through, but I can just say be strong. Make it a goal to get out at least one night a week with friends, etc. try going out on a date with someone...see how you feel about ebing wtih someone else.