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.~"*♥Love without attraction♥*"~.?

Is that possible?

I think we are attracted to the person we love...I'm attracted to the person I'm in love with, but suddenly a question pops up in my head...I wondered whether people could fall in love with people without feeling any attraction!

Some people don't look so good(no offense) and sometimes, some pretty girls fall for ugly guys and some good looking guys fall for ugly girls.

Are they attracted?

The person I love isn't soooo good looking...I just know I'm in love, and I naturally feel attraction, but others don't!

Or is it a personal preference?

I'd like to know your opinions!

<:^_^:>

Have a Good Day!

Regards,

.~"*♥Shining Star♥*"~.

Update:

I didn't say I'm not attracted to my love...I am...but others don't like my choice and say it's not sooo much of an ITEM.

I'm often disgusted by their opinions...why do they have to judge me and my preference?

Update 2:

Yes nysenutz...it happened to me too. I did see him and heard him doing things which I never expected...I do feel a lil different, but that didn't make any difference....I think it should've bu it didn't!

Funny eh?

25 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    cool question. i think that when you like someone, they become more attractive to you, and when you grow to love them, they become even more attractive. (maybe not "brad pitt,"but more than they were) i once dated this guy who was extremely good-looking. seriously, heads would turn. but he knew it, and he was just so arrogant and deep down, he just wasn't a good person. he really didn't care about anyone else, etc. i found it so interesting that each week he became less good looking in my eyes. really. by the end of like, a month, when i broke up with him, he actually wasn't even good-looking at all to me. i actually wondered why i thought he was so good-looking to begin with. but he still WAS, because my friends were all like, "omg. HOW can you break up with him? he's so gorgeous! are you crazy? so i think your soul, who you are as a person, affects the way others see you, but a lot of people don't even realize it. that's why sometimes a guy who is really not good-looking at all, once you get to know him, can sometimes just seem so sexy and attractive. i don't know. hope this is what you were looking for.

  • Anonymous
    5 years ago

    Most people will claim that you need some sort of 'chemistry' or 'attraction' to fall in love. It's all very well giving someone a chance when you don't initially feel it, but often in this case, you may be doing them (and yourself) a dis-service. After all, it's a big risk to take - getting to know someone in the hope that chemistry will develop when it isn't there from the start. What happens if it never does? You've given that person false hope, and you've wasted both of your time. Obviously it's not always that clear-cut. Sometimes you know straight away whether or not there's any potential for anything to develop. Other times, you may not spot that potential straight away. If you find yourself getting to know someone better, and falling for them after initially deciding that they weren't your 'type', then that's fine, and often these make the best love stories, as opposed to the typical, superficial, "he's hot, she's hot, and that's all there is to it". Give someone a chance if you think there may be a chance. But that said, it's never a good idea to continue to force something if it simply isn't there. EDIT: Just to point out that chemistry, sexual attraction, and love are NOT all the same thing. Chemistry is a 'bond', a connection. A meeting of the minds, if you like. Chemistry often goes hand in hand with sexual attration (not always), but sexual attraction and chemistry do not necessarily go hand in hand with love. Love has deeper roots. Like others point out - it is possible to love someone (friends, family members, even partners), without feeling either chemistry or sexual attraction). It's also possible to feel chemistry or sexual attraction, without being in love. If you can find someone who provides all three, then you are luckier than most!

  • 1 decade ago

    Physical appearance is what attracts one to another...initially. Whether it be ones eyes, smile, hair, body, we all have different opinions when asked "What do you look for.....?" However, many people become attracted by what is inside. Of course you can't see the inside of someone if we pass them on the street, or see them across a crowded room. There are people that we meet who may have a face like a dropped pizza, and a body like a sumo wrestler, and we are in no way attracted to them, but as we get to know them, we may find that they are beautiful people. It's not until we spend time with them, voluntarily or not, that we see the inner beauty.

    These people could be school/work mates, friends of friends, or anyone you may see on a regular basis. Most of the couples that I know where one is a stunner and the other is fairly ordinary (in my opinion), started out as just friends, business acquaintances or similar, and have known eachother for a long time before getting together. Then again, there are people who prefer an 'ugly' partner because they feel there is less chance of losing him/her to another.

    So to answer your question....NO, I don't think one can fall in love without the attraction. This attraction may be immediate or the attraction may develop over a period of time. Have you ever changed your opinion of someone, good or bad, because you saw them, or heard of them, doing something that you didn't really expect them to do? I have, and when I did, I looked at them in a completely different light.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    You can have love without lust. I don't know how well that works out for the sexual chemistry in a relationship. I have never dated anyone that I didn't wanna rail all the time. But then again, I have never found someone that I want to marry either. Maybe there is a balance between looks and lust and love. And maybe you can't have the peak of all three at the same time. Look at how many celebrities marry each other for looks, and then they get divorced all the time, but the celebrities that aren't the most attractive have long happy marriages. Good question.

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  • ?
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    I will say this... I am not a monster by any means but I know I don't look so good. My wife it good looking but I don't delude myself for one single moment that she married me cuz I'm so sexy to look at. We became really great friends first, and didn't even really date. We hung out with each other but I made sure to be respectful of her space cuz I figured she probably had plenty of boyfriends. Well next thing I know it just kinda happened all of a sudden and we've been together twenty years. I have a good buddy, he is often mistaken for a celebrity because he is super nice looking like a male model though a little short. He has found a woman who is overweight with bad hair, but she is a super sweet, super funny nice person and they are madly in love. The best marriages and relationships happen when the people are attracted to the soul of a person and not what they look like. I have seen it all of my life. Look at people happily married 50 yrs (not just those that 'stuck it out' because it was 'the right thing to do') and ask yourself if you think they were both good looking when they were young? Not likely.

  • 1 decade ago

    I think it all depends on what is important to you.

    Some people think it sounds shallow to say that looks matter, but I think they do - at least to me. It isn't the first thing I look for though. It is on the list. And you don't have to be a supermodel. I am not perfect, so I don't look for perfection, but I do need to feel some attraction. I mean, I have dated some guys that were really really hot. Some that were really really rich etc etc - and I have dated guys who were a little overweight or not as attractive but they were still what I would consider to be a "better person" in general - and I would choose them over the other guys.

  • 1 decade ago

    It isn't always about looks.

    Even your sign off with "shining star" provides a clue.

    Forget looks. Some people just have personalities that "sing." That's attractive!

    Some people have rational ways of doing things that make them just shine like a star. That's attractive!

    If you check back at other years of men voted as "sexiest man of the year" you'll see people you may not know, and then realize it must be something beyond looks that made them earn that title!

    You go with your heart, your gut and your brain.

    Good luck!

  • RLJ
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    I totally understand where you're coming from. My boyfriend isn't the best looking guy in the world but I am MAJORLY attracted to him and I think he's gorgeous. I think it can be about looks, but more importantly, it's about that spark and the clicking between you. I know a really good looking guy, great personality, but there just isn't that oompf (that spark) between us. Or at least I don't feel it, so despite the fact he's very good looking, I'm not attracted to him. However, me and my boy just click so much and I find myself so attracted to him!

    Don't listen to what your friends say. Your happy and with someone who you really like and maybe they're just jealous they don't have a relationship like that. Your friends should be happy for you, not judging you.

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