Yahoo Answers is shutting down on May 4th, 2021 (Eastern Time) and beginning April 20th, 2021 (Eastern Time) the Yahoo Answers website will be in read-only mode. There will be no changes to other Yahoo properties or services, or your Yahoo account. You can find more information about the Yahoo Answers shutdown and how to download your data on this help page.

Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Entertainment & MusicJokes & Riddles · 1 decade ago

Beans Beans, the magical fruit..... (joke)?

A man had a terrible passion for baked beans, but they always had a somewhat lively effect on him. After he met the woman of his dreams, he made the supreme sacrifice and gave them up; he couldn't imagine subjecting his new wife to his beastly emissions.

On his birthday, his car broke down, so he called his wife and told her he'd have to walk home. He walked past a cafe and the wonderful aroma of baked beans overwhelmed him. Since he was still a couple of miles from home, he figured he could indulge, and then walk off any ill effects. So he had three extra-large helpings of beans, and he "put-putted" all the way home.

His wife met him at the door and seemed somewhat excited. She exclaimed, "Darling, I have the most wonderful surprise for you for dinner tonight!"

Update:

She blindfolded him, and led him to his chair at the head of the table, making him promise not to peek. At this point, he was beginning to feel another one coming on. Just as she was about to remove the blindfold, the telephone rang and she went to answer it.

While she was gone, he seized the opportunity. He shifted his weight to one leg and let go. It was not only loud, but ripe as a rotten egg. He gasped and felt for his napkin and fanned the air about him. He had just started to feel better, when another urge came on. This one sounded like a diesel engine revving, and smelled worse. He tried flapping his arms, to clear the air. But another one snuck out, and the windows rattled, the dishes on the table shook, and a minute later, the flowers on the table were dead.

When he heard his wife ending her conversation, he neatly laid his napkin on his lap and folded his hands on top of it. He was the picture of innocence when she walked in.

Update 2:

Apologizing for taking so long, she asked if he had peeked at the dinner. He assured her he had not, so she removed the blindfold and yelled, "Surprise!!!"

To his shock and horror, there were twelve dinner guests seated around the table for his surprise birthday party.

Update 3:

Please feel free to browse my other questions, I post jokes all the time. better yet, visit my 360 page here:

http://360.yahoo.com/lfirst58

Update 4:

@Bonnie

I thought you'd mention something about Bruno.

15 Answers

Relevance
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    that is HALARIOUS!!!!!!!!! a friend recommended i looked at your jokes....and she was right!!!!! YOU ARE FUNNY!!!! i'm gonna keep posted!!!

  • cats
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    Funny! 100!

  • 1 decade ago

    old but funny. shud of said he saw 12 shocked guests around the table?

  • Anonymous
    5 years ago

    because the more you eat, the more you toot, the more you toot, the better you feel, so we eat beans with every meal....

  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    LOL -- What a way to present yourself not knowing your present was present.

  • 1 decade ago

    I am still laughing at that one. Good one.

  • 1 decade ago

    haha i would have had to leave the room i think

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    that gave me a laugh. lol

  • 1 decade ago

    That's really funny!!

  • Hannah
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    Hehe!

    That made me giggle!

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.