g/f in pain....help!?

Hi there

I am 27 and I also have two disc prolapses and another bad disc in my lumbar spine, so I understand how bad she must feel. I get shooting pains down my legs from my tail bone, soreness in my lower back, numbness in my L leg and tingling too. It has been really hard for my partner to deal with at times because, like you, I am in too much pain alot of the time to do all the stuff I used to. I became down and not so much fun and I felt unnattractive and boring............... then he sat me down one day and told me quite firmly that he could handle it for ever, so long as I helped my self.

This basically meant a few things, including me not going to the gym, I would say that her doctor was wrong, especially when it is acute like this. Your girlfriend needs to completely rest. This was hard for me, as my partner was going to the gym still and I felt left out and worried I would get out of shape, but eventually I got used to it and now I just walk when I am not in too much pain, and sometimes swim too.

I also had to stop wearing high heeled shoes, or shoes with thin soles like fashionable pumps - again not good when your vain, and all your friends talk about shoes and stuff 80% of the time! But this needs to be done to help her spine. If your girlfriend is already doing these things, then thats good, but also, I started taking Glucosamine Sulphate, I see a Chiropractor once a week, we even moved house so I had less far to drive. When it is really bad, I use an ice pack and rest it. Diet is important and we eat well to keep my body as strong as possible. At night, she should sleep on her side with a pillow between her legs, this will help her spine open out and allow the discs to re-hydrate as she sleeps. Perhaps these are all things that you guys could look at???

Regarding her insurance company saying no to surgery, surgery is not always the answer. Although it does help some people, Im sure. She does need an MRI scan and x-rays though and she should seek help from either a Chiropractor, Osteopath or a Physiotherapist.

I hope that I don't seem to be stating the obvious to you, Im sure you are doing much of this advice already. Its just that I know how hard it can be not only for the person in pain, but also for their partner. I hope that your girlfriend feels better soon. She needs to be realistic though. Once you have had disc injuries like this for a sustained period of time, there will always be a propensity to injury there and some weakness, hence flare ups and re-injury if she is not careful. In fact I had a bad leg again just yesterday from doing too much housework!

Good luck, all the best, Isabel.

I'm not going to guess if she was diagnosed properly but I would never consider the surgery, not unless it was that or a wheel chair for the rest of my life. I could give you a book full of people who I have met in my chronic pain support groups who regret every having back surgery.

A few things you shared don't make sense. Exercise with a physical therapist is one thing, working out at the gym would be foolish with this problem. I would do what you can to convince your gf to get a second opinion. It doesn't have to be costly, the test results can be sent to the new doctor, they won't need to be redone. And second opinions are common requests, tell your gf that her doctor will not get mad, if he does he's not a doctor she should continue to see anyway

If you find this is a correct diagnoses and the pain will be long term and if this is a serious relationship, if you're planning on being around long term you two should see a counselor a couple of times, one who specializes in chronic pain patients. Life may not be what you both expected but it doesn't have to be all bad either. Chronic pain can destroy a relationship or it can make it even stronger.

I can tell you what worked for me. I had it on my left side due to my ex beating the heck outta me...I tried so many thngs but the ONLY thing to work was accu-pressure therapy performed by a physical therapist. I also had a chiropractor work on my "S" "i" joints unjammed. She may have some how jammed her si joint on her right side causing a horrible pain down the right side of her pelvic bone. The pain around her tail bone could be from tensing her muscles (caused by pain) at night and as I said before, accu-pressure therapy is the only thing that worked for me. Two months of it...good luck

Firstly- if she has herniated discs in her lower back she needs to see someone about it because the doctor sounds like he hasnt diagnosed her correctly. Your gf should NOT be doing exercise if she's in severe pain. Speak to the doctor and MAKE him do something otherwise, see someone else as it might get worse. Also look at this website- it might give you an insight and pinpoint whats hurting and where.

Go with her to the doctor, the doctor probly is not listining to what she was to say, if two go he'd probly get the hint that working out with a bad back is NOT a good idea and get some real help for her.

Stand by her,she probly feels as helpless as you.