I think I'm borderline bulimic...?

Do you have anyone you can talk to. Clergy maybe, or sometimes you can find a counselor that will help you with finances. Are you in School? If you are have you tried Student Services?

Look, it sounds like your Mom has a lot on her plate but, as a Mother she really would want to know that you struggle with this.

If all else fails and you don't have anywhere else to turn do you have a friend you can talk to? Someone who might be willing to help you learn to do other things to relieve stress like exercise...HEALTHY exercise. You might also pin point what the exact pay off you are getting from your behavior. You said yourself you get some pay off in relief of stress...is that the only reason why. I am with Dr. Phil on this...you can't fix what you can't acknowelege and so you need to be very honest with yourself and pin point if it is body image you are doing it for or stress relief. If it is body image then you may need professional help, if it is stress relief there are many activities that you can do to relieve that stress...some of us cry...some scream...some exercise...some put that energy to creative use.

Keep in mind, only you control what goes into your body to fuel it. So, maybe try to eat healthier and find an outlet for stress relief. Go to your Mom and maybe she can help you at least be assessed professionally.

Good luck.

It sounds like you maybe at the start of developing a serious eating disorder. At least you have identified it before it got out of hand, but you really need to do something. You need to go seek some help because if you leave this alone, it will slowly drain you away. It doesn't mean you have to go to rehab, but it does mean you should really tell your mother. It would hurt her more if she suddenly found out.

There are support groups online you can join. Do you have a close friend or relative to talk to about this? You do need help., and i understand not having money to afford it....trust me. But you do need help. Sometimes, they do have scholarships for medical treatment., I would loook into that. in the meantime, my inbox is open if you need someone to talk to, or someone to help you stop. im not a professional, but I do love to help people. =)

Just hang in there...

It sounds to me like Bulemia. If you are in high school or college, you can access free counseling and referrals for help. I don't know your family situation, but if my daughter were struggling with Bulemia, I would want to know so I could help her.