sex a chore?

this is a hard one since you have been together so long but you can choose when you want and don't have sex. YEs sex can be good for a relationship but when sex has become the main focus and the only thing you guys do now to have a good time maybe its time for a change not saying you need to break up but learn to enjoy each others company again. If your boyfriend cannot handle that then I think your heart will know what to do

Sex should never seem like a chore or a duty. And I bet sex with your bf is not at all fulfilling to you? Its like you are his human toilet or something, lol!!

If the relationship has been more good than bad, I would seriously talk this issue over with him soon. Because you will wind up one day cheating on him. You are the giver in the sexual part of your relationship, and this is not good. He is using your body to get satisfied, and you're not even achieving climax,wtf!! Never should be in a true relationship. He should know that he is not pleasing you totally. If he is not a cuddler, then he is not the man for you...and if he is not a giver or and won't compromise with you. I would start shopping for a new man, and do not be surprised if one man doesn't give you all that you are seeking...it may take time to find what compliments you sexually, and emotionally.

My intuition is telling me, that instead of *working* towards finding a compromise, you are just neglecting your *own* needs, and allowing him to walk all over you; not because you love him, but out of fear.

Your boyfriend can't read your mind.

I think, if your needs and wants aren't being met, then YOU need to be more assertive. You are responsible for your own body. If you're not having your climax with him, and you're not willing to *tell him exactly* what you want him to do, don't expect too much...

It's true that a lot of guys out there are pretty clueless about women's bodies. You may need to give very simple, clear, play-by-play instructions, or else he might not "get it." Maybe your boyfriend just has a slow sexual learning curve, because none of his previous girlfriends bothered to teach anything either. Maybe he just assumes that "any lovin' is good lovin'. "

The fact that he seems to have a strong sex drive, means that you probably have a lot more leverage over the situation than you think. I'm not suggesting shutting him out, until he "magically" becomes more interested in pleasing you. Rather, since he ought to need your permission to touch you, you have every right to demand that sex happens on *your terms* as well as his.

................

Maybe you've tried being more sexually assertive already....The other possibility is that he is,( in fact,) genuinely uncaring, apathetic towards your needs, and uninterested in making you happy whatsoever.

If that be the case, please disregard the preceding paragraphs; and find yourself another man who is not a sociopath, ASAP.

I'm in a similar situation. I am with a guy for 2 years and I think sex is a big chore. But also I see it as 5 - 30mins of my life wasted lol.

You must talk more to him about how you are feeling and then make a decision.

Im a woman and sorry if this looks bad but here goes. You sound like you are over 16. It depends how much you love him. If you love him alot and can see your self with him in the future, then you have to options. Improve it with toys, or cheat. If you dont see him as somebody you want to spend the rest of your life with. Then break up.

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This may sound bad but its the truth, if the sex is not good for you now, do you honestly think it will get better? I would try to persuade him to try new things for you to climax. If that doesn't help out, time to move on.

Um communication is the key, express these feelings. Take some time off to recoup and try again.

you haven`t got to look elsewhere. if you`ve got a strong relationship discuss your own needs and sense of fulfillment with him. and stop pleasuring him alone. it takes two to tango, and you can both have loads of fun too.

you should leave... it isnt worth it if you dont even have a choice... plus if you two have been together for so long he should know when your in the mood and when your not...