This question is for menopausal women only, please?

It has been almost 2 years since my last period, I am 53. I have frequent hot flashes and night sweats. I am always so uncomfortable and embarassed by the hot flashes at work. Other than hormone therapy, which I would rather stay away from, has anyone had any favorable experience with any holistic remedies or herbs, or anything that has helped them? Cancer runs high in my family, so I would like to stay away from estrogen, etc. My hair is also thinning and I would like to find something that might help that also. I haven't spoken to my doctor about menopause, yet, especially since they so recommend hormone replacement therapy. Any advice or answers will be greatly appreciated, thank you.