Do you expect your kids to take care of you when you're older?

My own health deteriorated while I was taking care of my mother, so when it's my turn I will go gracefully to the nursing home if need be.

No I didn't expect it and that is why I agreed as did the rest of America back in the 70's to raise the cost of Social Security taken from our checks to cover the baby Boomers and many who could put money aside. If Pres. Bush had left the bill in place that Pres. Clinton put in place that Social Security was not to be touched for any other program use we would not need to talk about what will we do when it is not there. Bush changed the law and bankrupted what was at the time a financially sound Social Security fund while Clinton was in office for this Iraq war. So I say young ones go for it and stop paying social security so you don't get screwed by the govt like we did. As for me I was counting on working my whole life and having a great pension and social security and I would not need their help. Unfortunately, I became disabled at 44 and so I am still able to live on my own and seeing a financial adviser as my two adult children just recently married and became completely independent now. They are 27 & 28...and they made it clear that they don't me in their home.

I do have the VA as of now and hope that there will be something there when I need it. My only hope is that they will visit me in whatever kind of home I am in UNANNOUNCED to make sure I am not being abused. If I am being abused and can walk out... I will do just that and go into the forest like someone said below.

Our kids are already doing for us of their own free will.

They do the deep cleaning, maintenance on the house and the grandsons, due to their spaced out age difference, have been doing a very good job of doing the yard work for the last 15 years.

We have about 3 years left with the grandson doing the yard now and two more not yet old enough.

We pay the grandson's, and most have chose to save the money to help buy themselves a car.

My husband and I plan to live independently as long as possible.

One of our daughters has said she would move in if it becomes necessary.

The others have said we could live with them if need be.

Sometimes we old people are better off when the time comes to be in a nursing home when we need skilled care.

Right now my husband is busy taking care of my needs and his needs. He over works himself, because he is a neat/clean freak.

We raised 4 loving kids and some times it was hard but I'm thankful and grateful we have them and lucky to have them near by.

I wish everyone had a family to take care of them.

DeeJay.

I hope that won't happen, I've told my kids I want to go out for a GOOD party, Lots of spirits, maybe a little smoke, then point me toward the lake. That however may not work, I float even with just laying there.

He and his wife took me to a concert at a wonderful park called the arboretum, an Eagles tribute band was playing there and they were good! My son made a nice little party of crackers, cheese, pate', chocolate and fruit. My beverage was wine. I told him I'd had enough, but he refilled my glass anyway. So I had more. walked fine, even tho I'm an amp, no staggering, visited when they took me home 'bout midnite, they left and I went into the bathroom and then realized all the surplus vine I'd drank wanted out, and immediately! I told my son he should have warned me there would be a dress rehearsal

I am at a stage in my life when I need a lot of help - I am on oxygen 24/7. My insurance pays for a caregiver to do my housework, laundry, cooking, run errands, etc. In the next year or two I will probably go into assisted living. My daughter does a whole lot for me, and I am very appreciative. She works long hours and has a husband and home, yet she does anything I need her to do. And we spend one afternoon/evening together every week going to lunch or dinner, taking in a movie, playing a game, whatever I want to do. Once or twice a year she takes me someplace for 2-3 days. How can I ask her to do more than that?

When people used to take care of their aging parents, women didn't work outside the home besides taking care of their own home and children. Our society has changed. When I have to go into a supported living situation, all I ask is that my daughter visit often and unannounced, to make sure I'm not being mistreated or neglected, and to still show me love and affection.

The old argument of not choosing to be born is just something that kids say. Don't use that one as an excuse or a reason for whatever you decide to do. Parents don't have kids with the idea of having ready made elder care.

To answer your question, no, I don't expect my only daughter to take care of me. I expect her to take care of herself and her family first and for her to plan for her own retirement like I have.

If she volunteers to help, I won't turn her down, and I might even ask for a little help now and then. But my care is my own responsibility, and I'm doing everything I can to make sure that I can provide care for myself.

What I do expect from her is that she will be supportive of my decisions and will not attempt to be my "mommy" when I'm no longer able to care for myself. I'll always be the mommy.

This is a tough one. My own mother is very dependent and needs to be in a nice assisted living facility, but she refuses to make that change. That leaves all her grocery shopping, doctors' visits, paper work, and her loneliness and depression for us to deal with. It's hard to make trips to an emergency room at 2:00 AM when she is in no real danger. She seems consumed with illness. We love her dearly, but there are times we dread some of the responsibilities, quite honestly.

I hope to remain active, well read, and involved with my family and friends. I want to make plans well in advance so that my daughter is never burdened with hard decisions or hands on care. We don't, any or us, know what life's circumstances will bring, but I hope my own independence is a gift I can make to her.

No never. I have already financially catered for when that time comes if, it does. I would hate to be a burden on my daughter, she has her life to live with her own family. I am a very independent person and feel more comfortable in my own environment, even though my daughter is urging me to go live near by her now so she can keep an eye on me but, I won't move, as I am very fit and healthy and feel I have a long way to go before I get to that stage of life..

I will NEVER do this to my kids. I am an only child and my 86 year old mother lives with me. It is sooo difficult. Interestingly, her physical care is not the problem, it's all of the "family of origin" stuff that keeps tumbling down off the shelves. I never even thought about this when I agreed to take her in. If there is any "unresolved" history of abuse or neglect in the family, it can make caring for your parent a living nigthmare.....been there, done that, and bought the t-shirt to prove it.

I don't know about my children, but i help my mother care for my grandma since her eyesight got bad and I fully intend to care for my mom when she's too elderly to do so. I don't trust nursing homes as far as I can throw them. I will do anything and everything for my mom, even when it comes down to the nasty things I would rather not. However, I will not care for my father. He was never there for me and my mother, and was very cruel to her. He is now married to his mistress. She's 15 years younger-SHE can take care of him. I believe that if your parents were kind and loving to you, you should return the favor. If they were not...well they can find a nice home because you don't owe them squat

I do agree with the saying " kids don't ask to be born " and I believe it is my job to be a good parent and set a good example for them and do my best to raise them well and give them what they need . I would never want my kids to be in a position to take care of me as I was put in that position myself . What I want for them is to have a good and fulfilled life as I have . When I can no longer take care of myself I would rather be placed or place myself in an assisted living home and allow them to enjoy life as I have . : )