My mom just died. Is this why I feel like I'm in the middle of sort of twilight zone?

It's perfectly normal.

And you don't have to be stronger tomorrow. There are no rules with grief.

I'm very sorry for your loss, honey. I wish I could make it better for you.

Right now you are probably just going through the motions of living, sort of running on momentum. I've been there and done that myself, a little over 20 years ago. The "twilight zone" feeling is precisely because you are like a rowboat on the ocean, subject to tides, storms, and whims of natural currents. You are reactive, not in control or proactive at the moment.

Eventually, you will get down to the routine of living without here. It is a profound change, but it is possible. At some point down the road, you might feel "old" somehow. You will be thinking about your mom, looking back to some fond memories and mourning the fact that you can never make those memories with her again.

At that point, I have specific advice. Until then, it won't matter. But at that moment, you need to remember this: You feel old and tired when you look back. You must find new energy in the realization that you CAN make new, good memories on your own or with others. Your life is not over. You still have choices to make, things to do, places to see, new foods to eat, ...

I discovered that when you look back, you feel old because memories make you feel that way. When you look forward and see a future with chances for good memories, you can feel younger and more energetic again. Because anticipation makes you feel that way. And it is a choice to allow yourself to see it that way. When you have gotten to the acceptance stage, you can make the choices you need to make in order to move on to your future.

Remember also that you'll never stop thinking about your Mom, but as time passes, you will become able to focus on times other than her death. And that will help the sting a bit more. When you can celebrate her life, you can begin to heal.

I wish you the best of luck. You are not alone in experiencing the feelings you describe.

Notice I didn't suggest a religious solution. It is up to you to choose whether religion is your way to help you control your focus on healing. Not everyone will find solace in religion. Some prefer counseling of a more secular nature. Don't let anyone tell you what is right for you. People can suggest things to try, but only YOU can define your own grief.

I'm sorry for your loss. You can say you'll be stronger tomorrow, but it may not happen. Grief is normal, don't try and put a smile over it.

It could take weeks, months, years.

There are 5 stages to grief.

* Denial (this isn't happening to me!)

* Anger (why is this happening to me?)

* Bargaining (I promise I'll be a better person if...)

* Depression (I don't care anymore)

* Acceptance (I'm ready for whatever comes)

Everyone goes through it, at different times, different stages. Just take it as it comes, and make sure you have friends and family around when you need to talk or have a hug.

Aw hun it's normal to feel like that after a parent has passed. It's been 25 years since my mom died. She was killed by a drunk driver on Mother's Day weekend of all times to go. It's still hard for me. You do not have to forget her. Create a little place in your room that is like an altar of rememberance to her with a picture of her that you love, a vase where you can put her favourite flowers or keep a handkerchief with her favourite cologne/perfume on it. Something like that. Just because her body isn't here any longer, her spirit still is. You can talk to her in private and tell her you miss her and if she's able to guide you in anyway ask her to do so when she feels it's right. Keep a journal of your feelings and try going to see a grief counsellor or get a book on helping your get past a loved one's death.(Check the self help section in a large bookstore in your area)

Feel free to email me we can chat.

I am so very sorry. You are in a state of shock which often follows the death of someone close to you. Do not push to be stronger let your feelings come as they will. It will take some time but you will find a way to go on living. Think how your mother would want you to go forward, she would want you to be happy and it will happen one day.

I am so sorry for your loss.

When my father died, I felt like this. And I couldn't see how it was possible that the sun would still rise and everything looks so normal, when my world had changed so completely.

Don't worry about being stronger. Grieving depletes.

Everyone grieves differently, but I found it was a year before I felt more like myself.

You do not need to worry about promising to be stronger--you grieve as much as you need how you need to. It is a shock any time we lose a parent. It doesn't seem like there can be a world without our mom in it. Give yourself time. Grief has a lot of ups and downs, so be patient with yourself.

My prayers and condolences are yours. (((hugs)))

So sorry sweetheart, it takes some time to get through it all, but the more you keep your mind occupied the easier it will be to cope

I know how hard that is; and I would comfort you and say after you get through the mental and emotional process, you will eventually get used to her being in another realm;

you can e-mail me if you like~just an offer

First of all, I'm sorry. I lost my mom last year and felt the same way. Things are going to be weird for a while, but your body will kind of carry you through it. Surround yourself with the important people right now to help you cope.

Yes. I'm sorry for your loss, honey. I lost a son three years ago. I know how you feel, like your world has turned inside out. That feeling lasts a while. Things will not go "back to normal" for you. Instead, you will find a new normal. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

I am so, so sorry to hear that!!! My Mom died in 2005 and it changed my world!!! I know it will get easier for you hon, just hang in there!! Grieve as you need to and give yourself time!! The hurt will never totally go away, but I promise, that it does get easier over time!!!

((hugs))