I want another child...my husband..not so much...?

When you already have three, a fourth is not quite a financial burden unless you dress them in only brand-new name-brand clothing? Or pay for private school?

I'm having #3 and it's simple to pass clothes along. One more mouth to feed hardly makes a difference until they're teenagers (we have the kids' friends over for dinner all the time yet we never have to make extra food).

I am the 7th of 8 kids, my husband is the oldest of 6.

Growing up we learned that other people matter. That it takes a family to run a household. That you can get really mad at a sibling and still love and forgive them.

Now we are both successful. We know how to juggle numerous things in life. We're natural managers of our resources. We know how to compromise. We know how to love and forgive. We've had a lot of practice!!!

Let your husband know exactly how you feel. If it weren't for financial reasons, is there something else holding him back? Is there some work you can do from home to make a few extra dollars?

I know that this is a tough one but the rule I heard was that if either person is saying no then the answer has to be no.

The reason is that the child doesn't deserve the burden of being resented. I know he agreed earlier but things change. Just like with your kids, sometimes the things you

agree to you can't deliver ("Yes I know mom said we'd go swimming but Tommy has chickenpox and we can't go to the pool. I know you want to. I know I said,..."). Please dont' think I am disrespecting the seriousness of this by comparing it to my example. It was only to say that sometimes the things we agree to aren't possible for reasons we didn't know at the time of the agreement.

Let's say you did have another. Your husband is envisioning longer hours at work or maybe a second job. You would need more help, the kids would need more attention and he would have less time. He is saying he just can't stretch anymore. Sometimes what we want has to bow to what our partner needs. I know it hurts. I have one.

I lost my first, almost died having my boy and then lost two more. I was told that trying again would probably kill me. That didn't stop it from hurting. I still couldn't give my crib away because it would mean my hopes were finished.

My heart and head wouldn't talk to each other. I finally needed to mourn and grieve the loss of things hoped for.

Later I found I had a condition where I shouldn't have been

able to have the one child. I found peace. I may wish I had more but I adore the miracle that is my son.

For you, your husband is saying he can't do more. What your children need is a mom and dad that aren't so stressed and burdened that home is an unhappy place.

They need you two to find peace. I sorrow for you and I also am happy for the children you have been able to have. Give your husband the gift of forgiveness and a happy home. He needs to you love him and see to what he needs as well. I know it hurts. Good luck.

The economy is bad, unemployment is rising, food costs are skyrocketing -- and this is just the beginning. Clearly you are out of touch with what is going on in the world, and you are out of touch with what concerns your husband. Is he concerned about his job security? He should be. And so should you.

You have 3 kids. What makes you think adding another one will make your life complete? What are you really missing in your life? If 3 kids did not do it for you, a 4th certainly won't.

Have you established a savings account for each child in addition to a college tuition plan? How is your retirement plan progressing? Can you keep up all of your payments on time and still save to your "future" account, retirement funds, and the 3 kids' savings and college funds? Do you have enough health insurance, life insurance, etc? Do you have good cars that are properly maintained, insured, etc? Is there any chance that one of your parents or your husband's parents could become ill or something and you would need to care for them and the kids at the same time? Have you and hubby had a fight about money in the past 6 months? Or more than one?

If he has changed his mind about a 4th, or wants to wait, wait. There's probably a good reason for it if you stopped to consider. What would you have to deprive your 3 kids of if you had a 4th and something went wrong? Would you deprive your 3 kids of anything to have another? I think not.

I honestly don't know how you manage 3 children and stay sane enough to want another. I love my son and would not trade him or change a thing, BUT this is it. I thought I wanted one more but I honestly don't think I could handle it. Not just financially, but to have time for each other as husband and wife. The world is changing and it is a scary and desperate place to raise children. Yes all children deserve a chance at life.. I am pro-life... But you should consider the over all picture. This new child could cause you and your husband to begin to drift apart. ALTHOUGH children are great, but if you both aren't 100% don't do it.

Let God handle it, and babies are a blessing, but if it is going to cause some serious issues with you and your husband, then I would stop and enjoy the three you have. I can't believe you have three and want another. My son is one month old, and I love him soooo very much, and I don't want anymore. My husband wants to have another child to try for a girl, and if we have another boy, he wants to try one more time. We're still debating about this. I can see myself wanting another child someday, but I honestly want all boys, no girls - they make nasty teenagers - but we will see. I haven't even fully healed yet, and everyone tells me that in a couple years I'll want another one. We will see, we will see!!

be happy with the ones you have spend time with your husband without the kids children are nice but it is expensive to give them a good life there is more than love a child needs don't get me wrong love is good but being dirt poor and having a bunch of kids to feed cloth and school is alot. finish it off with a puppy and your family is complete

Focus on your marriage and make a pros and cons list. Discuss with your husband how this can work financially with a budget. Prove your case, but let him know you value his opinion.