What's a good recipe for bacon-wrapped veggie burgers?

The recipe for bacon-wrapped veggie burgers.

Part 1: Bacon

Raise a pig in a factory farm.

Feed the pig pesticide-riddled grain and soybeans.

Take the pig to a slaughterhouse.

Have an underpaid illegal immigrant slaughter your pig.

Take the pig carcass and gut it, clean it, seperate it.

Take the belly to a multi-million dollar company like Oscar-Mayer. Oscar-Mayer is owned by Kraft, which is owned by Phillip-Morris/Altria, the cigarette company that is responsible for more human deaths than both world wars combined.

Have an underpaid worker with no insurance or benefits inspect the belly; another one to cut it; another one to cure it; another one to put it in the smoker.

Let the corpse cool for a few days so it is easier to slice.

Have another worker cut and slice the bacon.

Package the bacon with nitrites and lots of sodium to keep it fresh and colorful, since the meat's been sitting around so long at this point.

Have some store get the bacon and sell it for twice what they paid for it so they can pay all their employees minimum wage.

Buy the bacon.

Part 2: Veggie Burger - commercial variety

Buy vegetables, soy beans, etc. off of some farmer; make sure you rip him off and provide him with more chemicals to spray on his plants to keep bugs away, and also to guarantee his kids will have leukemia, his wife will be sterile and he'll grow a tumor.

Process the plants beyond recognition through blanching, steaming, dehydrating, whatever needs to be done.

Make some underpaid factory worker make ugly patty-like lumps on a conveyor belt.

Add salt, fat and preservatives so the burgers have some semblance of flavor through the cooking, processing and freezing and defrosting process.

Sell the burgers under the BOCA company brand name, since BOCA is owned by Kraft, which is owned by Philip Morris, the cigarette company that is responsible for more human deaths than both world wars combined, and then some. Profit, profit, profit, even off of the "health conscious" consumer.

AT HOME

Take your bleached and tasteless white bread.

Put down the name-brand BOCA veggie patty on it.

Wrap the bacon strips around it.

Put it in your mouth.

Wait for it to end up in the toilet.

I like some veggie burger. I have a problem though. WHen ever I try something vegetarian, I want to add meat product. Yeah, I am weird to want bacon on a veggie burger, and that's why I won't order it that way. I also like to add chicken broth to vegetarian food.

This question is so confusing. What is the point of eating a veggie burger if you are going to wrap it in REAL bacon?

I guess you just like the taste of veggie burgers but want to use real bacon? Well in that case when you need to wrap the "burger" in raw bacon and use toothpicks to secure it to the "burger" until the bacon is cooked.

this is so timely - I went to this place called Wingnuts on Friday and my wife ordered the veggie burger. Well the waitress just automatically asked - do you want to add cheese or bacon to that.

now my wife loves real bacon ( as all real women do ) so she had to think about that. it sounded pretty good.

You know some of those veggie burgers are good, especially the ones that don't try to be pretend meat, but good for the flavors of the nuts and grains, etc. Kind of like falafel.

So why not add bacon to a veggie burger. It's not like they will only sell them to vegetarians.

Couldn't we just slice up all the people that took this question seriously and wrap them around the veggie burger?

1 cook veggie burger (make sure you use bacon fat.)

2 Cook bacon

3. wrap bacon around burger.

Have this with a good year of Boone's wine.

Do what Phoenix suggested then add Lime kitty and Mr Stiggo's touch, then stick a pickled pepper from peter pipers market on top.

It's SOOO much easier to make a regular bacon-wrapped burger and just put veggies on it.

Tastier too.

Why would you wrap a real bacon with a VEGGIE burger? It will be delicious with real burger.

If you are trying to convert your vegetarian friend, it is mean trick.

If you are trying to just kid someone, you will have to wait for almost 11 months for April Fool's day.

It took me FOR-EVAR to work this one out, but it's delicious:

1. Take veggie burger.

2. Wrap with bacon.

3. Cook.

Delicious!