Priest Bans Autistic Boy From Church?

Daisyhill what a terrible comment ! Ruin it for everybody else oh my goodness ...This child has autism through no fault of his own and they are saying he cannot come to church because of his behavior i though it was God that accepted anyone no matter what, Those poor parents coming from a Mum who knows children with autism get this a lot they sure do not need it from their Church !

There are many different levels of special needs children some have greater needs then others, some are extremely strong and through no fault of there own in some cases can be very disruptive and can attack without warning, how do I know this daily personal experience!! As for this situation he is a big lad 6 foot tall 200 pounds he has disturbed and attacked others which is NOT his fault!! the priests has obviously tried desperately as I would expect of any priest pastor or Imam for that matter to do to help the family, but from what I have read of the family they are not compromising and obviously need some help! but instead they are filing a lawsuit for money, the sad part about this is that the priest tried to help the family and the son more then the parents are!!! Yes I am Catholic so you may say I might be biased and the answer is no!! I know from my own experience of children with special needs and also I would say the same thing in the exact same case and situation if the priest had been a pastor protestant or otherwise Rabbi or Imam!! Edit; Thank you for the compliment Kate 'below post' makes a change from what I usually get called on here LOL!

It is definitely unfortunate that the priest is saying that the child isn't disciplined and that's why he's acting out. Autism is so very misunderstood by many.

I can also understand, though, the Church's stance on the situation, not wanting the disruption. What boggles my mind, though, is that the family was in the cry room most of the time. That's totally appropriate for them, they shouldn't have been ousted from the Church. If they were in the back pew and continued to sit there while the child was disrupting the service, then that's another issue.

Since the boy has been known to hit others during Mass, knocking down other parishoners, spit and urinate in church... then, really, the parents need to understand that, even though their son is autistic and cannot help himself for the most part, it's NOT appropriate behavior during Mass.

From where did you get this? I would like the link/source so that I can share it with others.

If I attended a church with a pastor/priest who discriminated about whom could attend, I wouldn't attend and tell him/her why. Maybe the Bibles I have read ommited the part of Jesus saying, "Let the children come to me if they are 'perfect'". On the other hand, I would also remind the priest/pastor if he should or shouldn't cast the first stone.

People like the priests help give other pastors and priests bad names, which is horrible because I know plenty of pastors and priests who are quite the opposite. Somebody might think that they might have wanted to go to church or even go back, but if the priest is like that, then why should they go?

Nothing was said about the people who were supposedly harmed. Perhaps they are understanding in what happened and took it good naturedly.

Also, perhaps the parents are turning a bit of a blind eye. I know a woman who says her daughter has Asperger's. She may. However, the mother also spoils the daughter, who is in college, and does almost everything for her, which does not help. Other than going to a psychiatrist, the mother doesn't do much, if anything to help her daughter and just excuses her daughter's behavior, even though I think the daughter should know better. Actually, there are times when I think the daughter does know better, but also knows if she acts that way, she'll get Mommy's sympathy and gets what she wants. I digress a bit.

It also sounds as though the priest did not sit and talk with the family, which should have been the first step. I agree that by labeling them and discriminating them like that, one could see it as patronizing. Not cool.

Gar made some good points. Just because somebody wears a collar, doesn't mean s/he is a Christian or should even be wearing the collar. The only people Jesus chastised was the holier-than-thou priests who were more religious than faith living. Last I knew, religion does not get somebody into heaven.

How sad my son is autistic and we are catholic, my priest has been wonderful, very supportive, so not all priests are the same, it is not about disciplining the child that doesnot even come into it autistic kids ARE NOT NAUGHTY how many times do i have to say that, instead of banning the child, a compromise needs to be met, i bribe my son with goodies throughtout the mass, A way has to be found to manage the childs behaviour in the church. But i can honestly say, my son was very distressed with church for a while so i gave him a rest from going, now he is fine. I dont think our good lord would want a child to be distressed by going to church perhaps father could give him mass at home for a while and then try him in church later

hmm, that's a tricky one. We don't really know the whole story. The story could've got glossed up so that people can stand behind an autistic kind and point the finger at the Catholic church. Many things could've happened. For example, Waltz could've been rude. The parents could've been rude by not being respectful and taking there son out of mass when they know they should've. They both could've been rude to each other. From what you said it looks like the parents didn't do anything wrong and ignored the restraining order out of protest. Then again the parents might be being rebellious and have been rebellious.

In an affidavit, Walz said the church "explored and offered many options for accommodations that would assist the family while protecting the safety of parishioners. The family refused those offers of accommodation." Hmmm... Why wouldn't the parents not want to cooperate with they're PRIEST? If someone told me that I was taking away from someone elses attention I'd remove myself with a quickness out of respect for others to not be distracting and pull peoples attention away. I'm not saying that the boy is wrong. I'm saying that Adam struck a child during mass, nearly knocks elderly parishioners over when he hastily exits the church, spits and sometimes urinates in church and fights when he is being restrained and that would take peoples attention away. I'm sure that people in the congregation have witnessed all of this behavior.

Maybe the Priest should've got a petition together from the church or whatever or thought of somethin else instead of throwing a restraining order at them. Why would a priest put a restraining order on someone? It don't sound like were hearing the full story. Why would someone ignore that restraining order. Grudges? Rebellion?

I did notice that Carol Race said. "I can't discipline him out of his autism, and I think that's what our priest is expecting." Why would she say something like that? It would be the perfect thing to say to get people on your side. Notice she said I think and not he said. Maybe the priest was really thinking that though and if he did he wouldn't be wrong. ALLL kids need discipline. That's one of the reasons why Adam should be attending isn't it? Discipline: to train by instruction and exercise; drill. to bring to a state of order and obedience by training and control. Should Adam be taught discipline?

Yes you most certainly can discipline an autistic boy or girl. Discipline should be teaching not yelling or hitting or getting mad at them. I'm sure every parent out there with an autistic child would agree. With a few acceptions of course. I knew 13 year old kids like this when I went to Lions camp back when I was a kid. Lions camp is a camp for disabled kids like kids with missing eyes, hard of hearing kids, kids with missing limbs, etc. There are some autistic kids out there that act like butts and know exactly what they are doing and will laugh very loudly about it as well. Trust me it's very very true. Granted you have to take there actions with a grain of salt of course and not get mad at them but every kid needs to be told NO! We all have the ability to be butts but you shouldn't treat an autistic kid like a butt.

Maybe the parent's don't know how to discipline there son. Maybe they think that an autistic kid should never ever be taught how to act. Maybe they are way too sympathetic towards his autism. I have a disability known as SMA or Spinal Muscular Atrophy. I can walk and talk just like everyone else but I have weak muscles. I hate it when people pat me like a little puppy and go buy me suckers because I'm disabled. I'd rather someone get strict with me and say "lift that bar bell boy or you ain't ever gonna get strong!"

Wow. I can certainly sympathize with the parents. It's not easy having a disabled child.

Hearing that he is over 6 feet & 225 pounds I can understand also the concern of the Church. How do you reign in a child that is bigger & stronger than you?

I just hope that they can resolve this amicably.

It sounds like the parents may be turning a blind eye to the behavior their Son may be displaying. If i fact these are the things Adam is doing it is understandable that the Church is concerned.

That depends on whether what Walz claims is true really is. If he is a danger then other options need to be made available. But he also plainly admits that there was no serious troubles until last summer. I really think they shoudl have offered this family a LOT more support before he began to "bother" everyone else. At the church I attend, we have a young man with Down's Syndrome. he tends to get up in the aisles and dance. But you know what? He isn;t bothering anyone, he is simply offering his praises in his own way.

Number one would have been to offer this family support! This priest probably does think autism is somethign that can be disciplined out of a child, the same as many believe for ADD/ADHD and other problems children have.

Good grief ....this is not an easy one

As a mum to an autistic child i am annoyed that he can be discriminated against in this manner but i understand .

Yes they can be difficult and i can understand the parents being annoyed as they do have a right to attend church with their child.

The family could have explored the other avenues the church did offer as their sons behaviour can not be a risk to others .The parents left early in order to avoid contact with others which was a good move .

The child is obviously at the severve end of the spectrum and his behaviours are extreme .

He can be punished by his parents as regardless of his autism he still has to understand that there are consequnces for bad behaviour .

The family should not use his autism as an excuse for all his anti social behaviours .

My son fights whilst being restrainned but the urinating is nothing to do with being autistic .

I will not accept any form of bad behaviours and i discipline him the same way as my other children .

I think the parents need to take a step back and think about the effect his behaviours has on others and make their son realise that it is not acceptable for him to be like this .

They can discipline him and to me it sounds like he has other issues as well .

Kids need discipline and they also need consequences for bad behaviours .

Whilst i understand their son does not understand boundries and can not cope in social settings it is down to them to help him understand and try and help him manage his behaviours in social situations .

That's a VERY hard case. If that child really does physically hurt other people during church, and the parents do absolutely nothing to prevent this, then I guess the church is right. Autistic children *can* know right from wrong, it's insulting to their humanity to say you can't do anything about their behavior. It's doing them a disservice to not teach them how to act in public, handicapping them even worse! =/

If the parents can get help in properly disciplining this child, which I'm sure is no easy task, then I'm sure the church would welcome them with open arms.