major help needed!!?

this is gonna sound kinda drastic but if he does it again call the law on him and tell them you want him to go to a physciatric ward and that could help... he will also get therapy help in there... theres other things but i would think that would be the best... especially if he scares you... you have no business being alone with him especially if you have kids... because it is going to keep getting worse and hes gonna end up hurting one of ya'll REALLY REALLY BAD!!!! so try that and good luck :))

Hi, I'm sorry that you are going through such a rough time!

It sounds like he hasn't got the boundaries he needs from you, I'm sure you have set rules etc but they need to be in-forced in some way, at fifteen years old he needs to know what he can and cant do like hurting the babies if he does this you need to do something which makes him think whats he done and makes him think that he cant do it. Otherwise he will go off the rails totally and may need help from outside the family unit.

If you can not do this alone you will need a counsellor or physiologist to help you and I'm sure they will give you some pointers on next steps. even you could look up forums for parents with difficult children which may help.

I know this sounds hard, but i think he needs to know who's boss in the house and where the rules lie. Best of luck x

The next time your brother threatens you or pulls a knife like that, CALL THE COPS and have him arrested. What he's doing is a threat to your safety and the safety of your husband and children, and you have a right to live in a place which is free of violence or the threat of it. Your brother needs to see the inside of a prison cell for a while- and it might just get him to straighten out a bit. Being busted for assault, battery, and making terroristic threats isn't going to do him any harm- and the police and courts are much better at handling kids like him than you will ever be. For your own safety, you need to do this, or otherwise, your brother is going to do serious harm to you or to one of his nieces or nephews. It's not safe for them to be around him- nor is it safe for you right now, and it may not be for a long time, perhaps ever.

Good luck.

You Should Tell Him That If He Doesnt Clean Up His Act You Will Throw Him Out Or Call The Police Or Whateva... And Actually Do It!

I Know It Sounds Harsh But After All You Do Have Your Own Children To Look After And Their Safety Should Come First.

well, I know that he is only 15 but you should really sit down and have an adult conversation with him. Be COMPLETELY honest. I wouldn't talk to him as though 'you're the adult and he's the child' because that will probably get his back up and he probably won't like it if you try to pull the 'parenting' factor. That being said, it IS your house, your family and your rules. Next time there is an incident that you are angry, scared, sad..whatever, wait until you're calmed down a little (even if its the next day or something) and then I would try something like 'ok, (johnny?), we really need to talk about things. I want you to stay here with us and I really want to help but...(i'm scared sometimes, the kids are scared, your temper, the drugs...yadda yadda)." If he knows that you're not trying to 'repremand' him he will probably be more willing to talk about it and come up with a solution that works for both of you. You cannot live in fear for yourself or your family, and you certianly don't want your children growing up thinking they can pull knives on people or disrespect their mom. Maybe bring that up as a point also... "the kids will be getting old enough to copy you soon and it breaks my heart to think that TIHS is what they're learning from their uncle". I would try to be perfectly honest with him and talk to him more as a friend than as a little brother or a child. If he sees how much it upsets you and when you talk about his 'other options' (ie...foster home? or anywhere else he could go?) he may either choose one of those or decide that he's got it pretty good with you guys and he needs to shape up. I would come up with a list of things that you will 'tolerate' (don't tell him that list or you can gaurentee he'll be doing those things) and a list of things you absolutly will not (drugs, violence, threats, missing school etc.) and tell him that list so that he knows what page you're on. Then he can 'choose' for himself if he wants to meet your expectation or find somewhere else to go. good luck, sounds like you got your hands full!

AM is right.

If you need a black and white way to look at it - which situation hurts the least?

1. Dealing with the guilt that he hurts/maims or kills one of YOUR children.

2. Dealing with the guilt that you turned him over to a state correctional institution and got him the help that he'll need and the safety (he'll be away from drugs, drinking and sharp objects) that he deserves.

3. Leaving your husband and children to fend for themselves because you wait "one more day" and give him "one more chance" and this time he comes at you with the knife - but he doesn't back down.

You didn't chose to abandon him - his father did. You did what you thought was right, but your first priority is to take care of YOUR children, not try and mend fences that someone else broke.

Good Luck

My workmate was in a similar situation only its her 15 year old nephew, he started out drinking and taking drugs, then he kept asking for money, when he didnt get it he stole it, he threatened her with knives, pushed and slapped her,she did nothing about it and he ended up killing someone. I think the next time your brother does anything like that ring the police, let them deal with him before he does something serious, youve got to think of yourselves, especially your kids and the effect he is having on all of you.

As hard as it may be, you need to call child services and let them know what is going on. You can't have him in your home with your younger children. And even if he wouldn't hurt them, suppose he hurt you...or worse. Your younger children will learn the abuse and then you will deal with them. You do need to get him out of there ASAP before something happens. Don't feel guilty. You did what you could. Sometimes children are too broken from their past to be fixed. Therapy only works if they want it to, apparently he doesn't want to.

I know he's your brother, but sometimes jail is the only thing that wakes people up. If he's a danger to your children, the answer is easy. He definately needs some psychological treatment. Please don't let him hurt your kids!! Next time you are scared, call the cops. Millitary school works wonders!

You need help, I would get in touch with social services thay might be able to help as he is under 18 years of age. sometimes thay can give advice or even help you sort your brother out even if he needs to leave for a while, but he must have anger problems and thinks maybe your gonna leave him everyone else has even if it carn't be helped. but you carn't have him putting your family in danger you must act soon, weather you get help evan if he don't wont it you need it! or make him leave. ( please contact social services) hope you get the help you need and good luck!