Is it right to check out your teens phone?

If you pay for the cell phone and the calls, you have every right to check it. If you don't, then that could be considered invasion of privacy.

I'm a firm believer in privacy. I don't like other people being in my business BUT... if I thought my little sister were doing something dangerous to herself, physically or emotionally, I'd pry in a heartbeat. She'd be angry, but at least she'd be safe

If the parent is paying for it, it technically isn't the child's phone. You don't own something someone else pays for and supplys to you. Especially as a child. I think that's a big misconception. I believe in giving your children their privacy, but checking in on them is a good idea. Usually the ones who don't wish they had in the long run. A child is a child, they need space to grow, but they also need someone to help them. Especially if this child is young and sexually active. If she's not using protection, the parents need to do more than just read her bill and look at her phone. Everyone was young once, in this technological day looking at the phone won't do much. We all are or have been young at one point ; if you can delete something and think/know your parents won't see it, you do so.

If my mam ever read my texts or checked my emails I would go insane. Even if there isn't anything serious in the messages there still private. If you're worried about control and if your daughter finds out you checked her phone you will lose all control. I've seen it happen.

Try talking to her. Even if she refuses to talk to you talk at her.It gets so annoying that she will probably talk back.

Edit.

Do you even know if she's sexually active? God, I hate that expression. Or do you just have a feeling? She could be and you might never find out. Or she mightn't be and you confronting her will make her think that you think she is a slut.

By the way. Condoms don't equal sex. Most parents don't realise that.

If you feel the need to because of changes in her personal life lately, than go ahead. I personally believe in privacy though, but if your paying the bills and she's under 18, than you have the fair right to check. I wouldn't do it as a regular thing though; just once in awhile would be fine.

I think it's pretty normal for a parent to have concerns about their child's life, especially as a teenager, but sometimes you have to let them grow up and not worry over things too much.

i think..you should find the fair ground between checking and making sure your child is safe. by checking you risk losing all confidence you child may have in you and it will be a much more difficult war as your daughter gets older she will learn that you are trying to pry and "out to get her".

we teens are very vulnerable and still looking for guidance. she will do what she wants if she really wants to though, regardless of your feelings about her actions..also if you check her phone and minimalize it telling her she doesnt know what hse is doing and too young, doesnt know what love is, etc, etc. she iwll resent you and your actions and it will not be help at all.

maybe approach her, with your presumptions, give her some advice, make it geeky awkward mom stuff, such as internet safety, or some sexual safety stuff, talk about your experiences when you were a teen. being really open about your teenage years may make her feel more comfortable about approaching you.

i know i would feel devastated if my mom just checked my phone. it would pretty much show me that i cant trust her and she cant trust me and that would make a weak relationship weaker.

i guess, be her friend. dont pry, but be interested and available. and OPEN. keep in mind she is growing and experimenting and promote that, it is a growth process and its natural. just help her do it in the least harmful way.

I think you should check her cell phone she could be like calling guys and hooking up with them when she's suppose to be in school. Yes I think all parents check up on things just to be sure everything is okay. If you don't like what she's doing you could just take her cell phone away.

I dont believe its right, that is their private messages... would you like your daughter reading through your phone? Goin through your emails? If you do go through her phone then you will be diminishing the relationship you have with her, she will then start being MORE secretive. If she has been a good kid until now then trust she is still a good kid, and that nothing she is doing is too bad and that you have taught her well enough that she will make the right chooses.

You're the one who has to set boundaries. If the kid is acting out of character, why does she still have the phone at all? That's the kind of thing that's earned. (Nowhere in the Constitution does it say, "We believe these to be self-evident...that every teenager may text willy-nilly, and shall be protected from the intrusion of parents."

Teenagers need to hear the crack of the whip every once in a while, and I'll bet taking the phone away would 'reinforce' positive behavior.

I do think privacy is a key point in relationships, especially parent to child.

But since your daughter has been acting in an odd way, and won't tell you anything, yes its fine as a parent to check. Could save her from a big mess : )

~~Julie~~

well, as a parent, we sure want to best for our child. if your child is still a minor, you really need to help them out and guide them with the decissions they have to make. they always think they are doing the right thing. you can check on her things secretly, that's ok but it wont do any good if you you find out that something is going on but you are not doing anything to solve the problem. you need to talk to her and be a friend to her..