Breastfeeding moms....Why do you take it SO PERSONALLY when a mom decides to formula feed?

I have felt the same way sooo many times on this site! All I can say is "amen, sister!"

I just think in general people could be kinder when answering parenting questions. Parenting is hard enough without having a peer telling you you're doing a bad job because you're formula feeding, using CIO, putting cereal in bottles, etc.

What really butters my toast is when people ask a specific question on ff-related issues (as in "what do you think of this type of bottle", or "is store brand formula just as good", and so on) and people butt in with "breast is best" answers. I mean, come on. You know nothing about this person's individual situation. Answer the question being asked. If you don't have an answer that pertains to what is being asked then MOVE ON!

Personally, I think that we as parents should just be generally kinder to each other. Parenting is not a competition!

In 1970, about one-fourth of babies were breastfed, so it wasn't *that* uncommon. All my friends who are now moms - we're all about your age - were nursed, actually. After all, formula has only been an option for <150 years - the default used to be nursing (though of course not always by Mom!)... And no one ever says "gee, I wish I hadn't breastfed for as long as I did" but people do regret stopping early.

I think there are two factors here. One is that there is a great deal of evidence that breast milk has many health advantages (yes, I do think that, on average, breastfed babies are healthier), and two is that a lot of women don't try breastfeeding or discontinue early because they don't have good information or support. Take those two together, and it can seem difficult to understand the decision to use formula. However, no one can make the decision for another woman and no one else knows all the issues that played a part in that decision. Some people assume that all formula feeding moms have ridiculous reasons - but of course that's not true! It's probably true, though, that some women could have benefited from a good lactation consultant and might have made different decisions with more support. And it's the few here and there that make it hard to keep opinions to yourself.

I would appreciate if we were all nicer about these issues. I'm nursing my 11-month-old and some people think that he's too old. The scientific evidence shows that there are still benefits, so if it works for the us, then no comments, please.

I don't know if it taken personally as such. However, everyone has an opinion and this is the site to express it on. Your question should be rephrased however because some formula feeding mothers can be just as critical. Formula vs breast, pro choice vs anti, comforting baby vs self settling, pro adoption vs anti adoption etc - all of these topics get covered on this site and everyone is entitled to their opinion on each matter.

I am all for breastfeeding and believe all mothers should try it (I mean really TRY) however I understand that there are a small amount who cannot and have to use formula. What I dont like is mothers who formula feed just so their breasts don't sag, or for other silly reasons when we all know breastmilk is better. This is just my opinion, as everyone else has theirs.

At the end of the day, I am the best Mum for my children and I don't care too much at all if anyone on this site wants to tell me otherwise.

As to "virtually no one was breastfed", well I don't believe there is too much research backing up your statement. I am also 33, and was breastfed along with all my siblings and most of the people I knwo were breastfed as children.

I see these questions here often and always feel compelled to answer as best I can. I am currently breastfeeding my 3rd baby and I can say that it has been a learning process that I undertook at first on my own and then through research and on line support. I was not breastfed myself and had nowhere to look for support from close friends or family. What I really want to see is a push for early education for girls and women where nursing is concerned. I am only one person but I figure if I answer as many questions as I can that I am doing my part in helping and where better then public forums that reach many people. I try to not be abrasive or judgmental nor do I take things personally but it does sadden me when I see how much bad information is passed out (often by trusted medical professionals) and I try my best to point out when someone has been misinformed or has made a poor choice. This usually applies to people who think they need to turn to formula because they aren't making enough milk or are having a hard time because baby is constantly nursing,etc.

To the women who simply didn't want to, or think it's gross or any of the other numerous excuses I have read or heard I simply shake my head and move on...yes it makes me sad for their babies but I'm not in to beating dead horses. So to answer the last part of your question, the only people formula feeders NEED to justify anything to is themselves...what I question is why do so many seem to SEEK justification if they are confident in their choice?

There aren't that many moms who are truly critical of formula feeding moms on here, but they make their voices heard. My guess is that they have nothing else in their lives to make them feel important and this is some small way they can boost their self esteem by tearing down others. It is great to offer advice and encouragement, that is what other moms need and are seeking. I have learned a lot on here and I know what mistakes I made that led to weaning at six month. Education and advice is helpful. Criticism benefits no one. Telling other moms they are feeding their babies poison benefits no one. The assumption that only people on assistance buy formula pi**es me off. The fact that they think it somehow affects them is absolute stupidity and arrogance. All I can say is I am thankful for the well educated helpful moms on here. The ones who don't judge but offer support.

honestly, i don't care much & don't take it personally. i don't understand fully why someone would not even *try* to breastfeed if they're theoreticallly capable. but i do fully understand someone tyring & not getting it. i had a very hard time, didn't even come close to getting the hang of it for almost a month. still can only do it smoothly under very specific circumstances. it can be a hassle. i don't think the babies are fundamentally different. i was breastfed for 6 wks then was put on rice cereal, and i'm okay (though i do exhibit some of the things they say breastfeeding & not starting solids too soon can help to prevent)

i also try to be understanding, as i'm struggling to keep up my supply & pump at work. it's a LOT of work, and i practically get NO breaks to eat, and i can barely keep up with the help & advice of a team of lactation consultants. but i have a can of formula at home, in case i need to supplement. i wouldn't want my baby to go hungry. or anyone's baby for that matter. period.

btw, i *cannot* bf and cover up, as i need to see to help my baby latch on & be positioned properly (she has neck & tongue issues that make it a bit more difficult for her). though i am a modest person, i HAVE nursed her in public because her needs come before my comfort. i just wish some people didn't go out of their way to give me dirty looks for providing the best nutrition i can for my daughter when she needs it.

oh, and i was breastfed too, but only for 6 wks. (i'm 29) and then i was put on rice cereal. (my brother too- he's 34) and we've both struggled with our weight our entire lives, have bad allergies, skin conditions, digestive issues, and blood sugar issues. maybe coincidence, maybe not.

Well, I'd like to say that not all breastfeeding moms take it so PERSONALLY. I breastfeed, but I dont care what anyone else chooses to do with their child. (my daughter does get a bottle of formula occasionally) And yes, I was breastfed and so was my mother. I dont think that anyone should ever have to justify anything they do.

oh dear god not another one of these questions.LOL to each their own. How can i say someone is a bad mother because they formula feed. at least they feed their babies. The way someone feeds their babies has nothing to do with how much they love and care about their babies. I choose to breastfeed because that's what i choose to do. my business no one elses, especially some stranger from the Internet. I have many,many friends who formula feed. I have a really food friend that formula fed because of all the medicines she had to take to stay alive. People made her feel so guilty about her decision that she cried and cried and was very depressed for months which effected how she cared for her baby. That's just bull crap if you ask me. I never once looked down on her for her decision EVER! BTW i am 30 and was breastfed,my hubby is 33 and was breastfed. my mom who is 58 was breastfed as well as her mom who is 83. Get a life please. also i get put down alot for breastfeeding. My neighbor came over when my baby was 3 days old and i was breastfeeding and accused me of hitting on her husband because my breast was exposed. please! people stare at me in public because i breastfeed and refuse to cover my babies head up. My hubbies SIL just doesnt understand why I dont make it eaiser on myself by giving my baby a bottle. Which i have done but not to make it eaiser on me. Its nobodys place to tell people how to feed their babies and raise them

Well, I did both. I do agree there is alot of pressure to breastfeed. However, I do kind of think that pressure is good. I mean, women now actually have to make the choice to formula feed. Our mothers never thought twice about it. We were almost all formula fed. (I am 34) I think formula fed babies can turn out just as good as breastfed babies. I think it is great to breastfeed, but there are other components that go into your baby's well being besides breastfeeding. Good prenatal care, a healthy, stable, non smoking home environment. How much bonding and time you spend with your baby. My son had issues and had to be put on hypoallergenic formula. It made a huge difference for him. I admire and respect women who breastfeed especially for the first year. If I had another baby, I would try and breastfeed again. I do think it is the best, but it isn't always the best choice for everyone. Women just need to respect each other's differences and stop being so judgemental. I think women should be more upset about someone smoking while pregnant or smoking around their baby than formula feeding.

My grandmother breastfed two children, my mother breastfed six children, all my sisters and I have breastfed 11 children in total - breastfeeding is well and truly ingrained in my family BUT I do not agree that all women SHOULD breastfeed. If you are able and want to, breastfeeding is a wonderful experience, providing the perfect opportunity to sit down, take time out and bond with your baby (although I do not consider biting the nipples to be quite so wonderful!). If, however, you cannot or do not want to breastfeed there is absolutely no reason why people should make judgments about you. You have your reasons and you do not have to justify yourself to anyone! Bottle feeding is a great way for others in the family to share in the direct nurturing of the baby and releases the mother from what could be a burden to shoulder on her own. I personally absolutely loved breastfeeding my daughter but I also recognise that breastfeeding is not for everyone. Live and let live - this will not be the first (or last) time parents try to instill their ideas onto others.

I formula feed my baby and I think wayyyy too many people get into other peoples business if they are getting THAT upset over how other people are feeding their children. Especially when I see it on here, I just have to laugh. These breast feeding moms are getting their titties twisted over how complete strangers feed their baby. It's comical to think about it.

I formula feed my baby, but I don't have anything against breast feeding Mothers.

As long as they don't share their milk with MY baby, I'm happy =)