Should I have the police do a welfare check on my 17 year old son? I caught him smoking pot in his room on Mon

Judging from you actions so far, I would say that you know exactly how to deal with this situation..

You have the courage and the guts to do the right thing which has to be a very difficult thing for a parent to do sometimes.

If you know where he is staying, having a welfare check being done on him is not a bad idea. It will give you peace of mind that he is ok and it will let him know that you are still concerned for his well being. With any luck, he will see the light and straighten up.

Best of luck to you all.

If he is violent and abusive then you are doing good by keeping him out. However, let me point out that you calling the cops over marijuana on your son is down right ridiculous. He has a right to be mad at you for this. Its one thing to have conversations with him about the issue and if unresolved then kick him out, but... to call the cops. Ouch! That's a slam and it would take me a long time to forgive my mother for this. You say that he breaks things and practically freaks out. Perhaps there is something going on in his brain to make him act erratically. Have you considered speaking to a doctor? Stand your ground, but know that you really violated his trust. Get him the help he needs and offer it, if he doesn't take you up on it then there isn't much you can do. Tough choices, but don't give up on him quite yet.

Kids still screw up, even at the age of 17. It's good that you are still watching out for your kid. I made some pretty bad blunders at age 17, and a few even after age 17... heh. I'm glad I had my parents. I eventually straightened out. Hopefully he'll appreciate you.

I'm 30 years old, and I'm turning into my Dad. Just be patient.

Way to notify the police... I'm sorry that's just bad parenting. Why didn't you sit down and be reasonable with your son. You couldn't just talk to with him? He's 17 and you can't control him? Sure weed is illegal, but how you handled that situation may have cost you any chance at turning your son into a man without him being resentful of you.

If my tax dollars go towards supporting your child in any way or form consider yourself a failure.

Look, half of the middle class did pot when they were kids. You were over-reacting to it and wasting the time of the police imho.

Having said that, you do have a right to say what does and doesn't happen in your home. The other stuff you describe about his behavior seems more serious to me.

No.

At 17, the only thing we do is hand him right back over. Some other posters have said it already. Poor behavior is a result of poor parenting. Any influence that allowed your son to become this way was allowed by you. Calling the police in the first place was a poor decision.

There are agencies and programs set-up to help misguided and poorly reared youths. Law enforcement is not one of them. We are there to do the enforcing of the law, not hold hands and hug.

Please do not waste anymore of your local law enforcement's time.

i dont think you should be relying on the police. if he has behavior issues you should take him to a therapist and he will work out his problems there. kicking him out of the house is not a solution at all. why do you think he is smoking the weed in the first place? maybe because he feels abandoned or discouraged in his own home. if you convince him to go to at least one therapy meeting and explain what is going on to the therapist he or she will definitlly work things out with him. he is your son, i know you love him and even though things may get rough sometimes...your still his mother and he counts on you to take care of him and you should be there for him if hes got issues.

go to therapy both u and ur son together.

see what builds up there, and u will be suprised that u can get what u want.

he will be back. i suggest that u dont throw him out of the house or call on the cops, unless he is agressive with u guys.

i do agree with everyone that you were too harsh on him if this was the first time and that you should have talked to him first... but you have already ruined that opportunity so...

send him somewhere so he can get some help.. i have a cousin in rehab and trust me, it will do some good. you will not do him or yourself any good if you keep him home and letting him stay with a friend is even worse. You said that you are afraid of him and you shouldn't be afraid of your own child unless he is dangerous. good luck :)

Being honest with you I think you've been extremely harsh on your son if this was the first time. You'd have got a much better result had you tried talking to him first !! Sounds like you just lost your son ! Reading back through your question I really feel for you and your son too - it should never have got to this xxxx