I have a friend who has small children and her house is NASTY?

Wow, this sounds EXACTLY like my sister-in-law. I mean she literally has two kids with one on the way also. Her house is purely disgusting, to the point you want to throw up from the smell when you walk in.

Anyway, there isn't much point in helping these women clean their houses, unless you plan on coming every week to do it. It will only enable them even more toward their lazy habits, and it just won't really improve the overall situation.

It shocks me also how these people lack the embarrassment that any normal person would have.

Then there is the factor of safety and possible neglect toward the children. The ants thing is really scary. I want to say that since she is your close friend you should have a talk with her and/or her mom about the situation. Maybe you could gently suggest that if she is too tired from watching the kids to clean the house, then she could hire maids to come once a week to help keep it up.

Something definitely has to be done for the sake of those kids...good luck.

Yes it is child neglect an a nasty way to live. If you really are her friend you will talk to her, or get some other friends an you all talk to her, or maybe just you an her mom so it wont be so embarrassing. But which ever way you do it she needs to know. No baby deserves to live with a dirty house, ants in there beds, diapers everywhere an she sure doesn't need to bring another baby in to something like that it is very unhealthy way an the baby will be sick a good deal of the time. You could sit down tell her how you feel an help her make a plan for herself. like cleaning the house an you an her mom volunteer to help, try getting a job to take care an responsibility for her own children. Good luck. I wish the best for the kids.

Sure sounds like neglect to me. The best thing you can do is to call your local child protective services. They will drop in on people when they're not expecting it, so they dont have the opportunity to clean up and pretend that all is well. They are trained to assess the situation as they see it and will do many follow ups with your friend, with scheduled meetings at her home and unscheduled drop ins. They will also inform your friend if she is running the risk of losing her children if she doesn't clean up. They will give her the opportunity to prove that she is capable of taking proper care of her children. If she can't show that she is capable then, if needed they will take her children from her and place them in a proper home. For the sake of the kids, it could be best for them to leave. I know you care for your friend and you don't want her to lose her kids. Best case scenario, her mom gets the kids, until your friend can grow up and prove that she is responsible enough, then she can get them back. Please do something, its very sad.

That is really nasty, and those poor children. What does she do all day have sex and make babies that she can't take care of.

I really think that her mom is to blame here cos she allows her daughter to get away with everything, he mother needs to stop paying for anything and stop helping her out, and you need to stop cleaning for her. I know you care about the kids and that is why your doing it but she is a lazy *** mother.

Call social workers and report her but don't tell them who you are and when they arrive at your friends place pretend like you don't know who reported her. That is the only way she may wake up and face reality and when they take her kids away she will learn to take care of the home and look after her kids properly if she wanted to get them back, I know if may seem mean but trust me you will be doing her a favour in the long run. Those kids don't reserve to live in filth.

I agree with the first answer, it sounds like the mother is depressed and needs some serious help. But the children do sound as though they're being neglected, and their well being should be the first priority. Hopefully their mother will get the help she needs, but I would confidentially contact DFCS (or whatever the child welfare agency is called in your state) and have them check on the children if it's as serious as it sounds. Maybe that would motivate the mother to get herself on the right track. I would suggest your trying to have a serious conversation with her about these problems first, but it sounds as if you've done all you can. You're a wonderful person to be so concerned about the children, they're fortunate to have you in their lives.

wow. if she continues she can lose these kids ... i have a friend too that is always depressed so thats why she claims her house isn't clean . Some how her husband puts up with it.

she's only happy if she's going out and spending money on buying things or eating out. she won't do anything at home

I have tryed telling her when shes;' bored and says nothing to do that she can start working on one part of the house and clean it up but she tells me to shut up( jokeingly but i get the hint.) its her depression she needs to go out.

What i did one day was come over and say were going to spring clean and i'll help you lets put on the music and have fun as we do it. i had to push her she sat there at first but i made it fun for her and joked with her and started on her house myself then she got up and started helping . you can say where does this go. what do you want me to do with this. just give her a push and get her going.

however you will come back later and find a tornado hit it again. so its going to be hard but tell her she could lose her kids if she keeps this up.

It sounds like she needs a wake up call. Yes, this is child neglect, maybe even child endangerment. Child services should pay her a visit and help her understand her responsibilities as a parent. If a teacher or nursery worker picks up on the filth that surely follows her little ones to school, they are bound by law to report it for the sake of the children.

YES! This is ABSOLUTELY child neglect!! It is unfair to her children to have to live in this sort of environment. It's one thing the mother choosing to live this way in her house but to make children live in such filth is horrible. Especially if she doesn't have a job and she sits at home all day she should at least have time to clean. If she cares about her children then she should care about their health as well! If you called CPS anonymously they would inspect her house and they would determine if it was a fit environment for these children, because it sure doesn't sound fit to me. You should definitely do something about this even though you may feel bad for your friend because in the end it's about the children having healthy productive lives and being able to be happy in their environment.

If you are truly concerned for the children's welfare. You can speak to a social worker at social services. They do not impulsively take children away from parents despite what the media has portrayed about them. They would much rather work with the parents to improve the children's home environment. This does sound like a significant risk to the children's health and it is definitely not something to ignore.

I t seems really incredible ! because your children are what you love the most . I wonder how this woman was raised and if the child she is expecting is from the same father. I would take her to another dirty place so she would notice what it is like. maybe as she already lives here , she doesn't realise how she is living. or why don't you just talk to her directly ,telling her that if she continues like that her children will get many deceases