My son died this year, my fiance' wants to find a way to honor him at our wedding. Any suggestions?

In memory of my grandparents, I am carrying both of my grandmothers' wedding rings tied into my bouquet. Perhaps you could do this with your son's military tags if you have them. You could also keep a candle lit on the altar with a picture of him beside it. Or you could dance to one of his favorite songs at your reception. Make note of whatever you decide to do in your program so guests will be aware of the signficance. So sorry to hear of your loss...

I am so sorry for your loss.

You want to honor the absence of your son, but not make it a focus on what is a happy day. He would want this day to be happy for you.

This is what I would do:

Walk myself down the isle. It just wouldn't feel right to ask someone else to "replace" him and walking yourself down the isle isn't something that is outside the norm in weddings anyway.

I like the idea above of a rose with ribbon placed where he would have been seated.

Offer a general prayer during the ceremony for all of those that are not with you - lost grandparents, parents, etc.

Choose his favorite song for your first dance, and dedicate it to the memory of your son.

You can also say that all monetary gifts will be donated to a cause in memory of your son.

And carry something of his as part of your something borrowed, something new, something borrowed, something blue.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I appreciate the time he served. I thank you for raising an exceptional son. My son is leaving on Wednesday for Iraq. These are brave boys. I also commend your fiance for wanting to do something to honor him. I have a 16X20 picture of my son in his uniform. If you have something like that, I would put the pic on an easel in the front of the church where he would have stood if he had walked you down the aisle. Also next to your table at the reception. You can call your local Elks club or VFW. They can give you great ideas on how to honor him properly. They may even come to your reception to do a ceremony.

Good Luck....my thoughts are with you.

I'm so sorry! There can be a candle up at the front and you can light it before the ceremony begins and have your pastor explain that the candle represents your son, who is no doubt here today in spirit with us all.

You can also have stitched at the bottom of your dress (on the inside) his initials so that he is there with you as you walk down the aisle. You can also find other ways to have him "on you" if there is a certain colour or flower that could represent him based on your memories and experiences with him.

Some people like to set an extra place at the table for loved ones who are not there (I personally would not do that, it would make me feel more sad than reflective.)

You can also play a song for him for one of your dances and have it announced that this is his song.

You can thank him in your speeches, and acknowledge that you are sad that he is not there is flesh but you know he is there in spirit.

I am so sorry for your loss. I can't even begin to imagine what you are and have gone through.

If your son was supposed to stand at the alter beside your fiance, then you can leave an open spot for him. Have the rest of the groomsmen leave room there in honor of his memory. You could also have a podium there, where he would be standing, with a candle and an 8x10 picture of him with some flowers.

Those are some things that my clients have done and they looked beautiful and meaningful. Again, I am sorry for your loss.

Best wishes!

A wedding is a positive and someone's death is a negative so you do NOT want to introduce anything into the ceremony that is going to bring you or your guests down.

Here is a subtle and easy solution . . put a special flower (a yellow rose or a miniature cali lily or your son's favorite flower) in your bouquet and in the groom's boutonniere. And then put this message in your ceremony program . . "The yellow rose in Mary's bouquet and in John's boutonniere are in memory of Mary's son, Sam."

Just keep this in mind . . you should not have a funeral at a wedding . . and you should not have a wedding at a funeral.

Anwered by: A Certified wedding specialist / A professional bridal consultant / A Wedding ceremony officiant

For my wedding, I wanted to honor my dad since he passed away. Instead of wedding favors, we set out a table card that said a donation was made to a certain charity in the memory of my father. I asked my mother to walk me down the aisle and give me away.

I'm sorry about the loss of your son. I wish you all the best for your future.

Accept my deepest condolences, for that is something no mother should have to go through. That is very good and kind of your fiance' to wish to honor him.

The first answerer had a good idea. Alternatively you could have a poem read for him, you and your fiance' could light a candle in his honor, could put a memorial in the program, or have a small/decorated table at the reception with a photo of him (I've seen this done for parents, grandparents, children, and friends), or your first dance could be to his favorite song.

No doubt,I'd choose B.R.(Bohemian Rhapsody or better yet,Buddy RIch)) over Lady "GAG,GAG".... Never the less,if you insist on using a secular genre of music and can't agree,then you must compromise with your fiance..Have you considered a musical offering by artists Iggy Pop Stooge,Ted Nugent or Sepultura?...Well,Supultura may raise a few brows but just sayin',there are other choices...

Do it at the reception and not the wedding. Having a photo of him in uniform, flowers and a born / died date is appropriate. Also, it is common now to make donations to the local VFW Post in memory of fallen soldiers. I saw this done and it didn't take away from the wedding at all.