How do you define emotional affair?

Question

I was talking about this with a friend of mind the other day and she was saying its anytime when you put a friend or someone above that of your spouse. Like sharing marital problems and stuff like that to the friend before the spouse and depending on the friend more than the spouse. And when the spouse hides the relationship from their partner and isn't up front about telling their partner about the other person.

I was saying that it meant that, the spouse/bf/gf was sharing hard times with the friend or other person all the time, like if their baby were to die or they lost their job, and they are seeking comfort in that other person and it turns physical. But to me, telling your spouse/bf/gf about each person you have a friendship with is kind of putting more importance than the typical friendship is worth. I mean if you just have an acquaintance that you rarely see but they email you every so often I see nothing to mention.

So was just curious how others definded this term.

Marc M · Accepted Answer

Personally, I don't believe that emotional affairs are possible, since you really can't "own" the other person, regardless of whether they are your boyfriend, girlfriend, wife, husband, or whatever.  It is natural for people to be social animals, and to expect a partner to fulfill *ALL* of your needs, *ALL* of the time (possibly including financial, sexual, social, parental, intellectual, and emotional roles, among many others) is too much to expect of one person.

The women I become involved with are happy, healthy people, who have many interactions with others around them, and I accept them for who they are and how they are, as well as for the benefits they bring into my life, rather than judging them.  If there is some level of intimacy (with others) that I'd rather they not express, we talk about it... and if we can't come to some form of compromise, then we go our separate ways, hopefully with no hard feelings.

Lainey R · Answer

To me an emotional affair is cheating, in a way. You have a relationship with someone other than your spouse, that you don't want to share with your spouse. You look forward to contacting that person, talking, texting, whatever. You wish you'd met this person before you met your spouse, or start thinking you might have been happier with that person...
It's a very fine line from emotional to physical, so use caution.
Basically, anything that is not physical, but still makes you feel a little bit guilty...affair!

Anonymous · Answer

Oh, bullshit.  If you can't talk to a friend about your marital problems, then who can you talk to?

There's no reason for a definition at all.  But when someone else provides more emotional support than your spouse, then something's wrong.

I thought this was a Singles forum....

Anonymous · Answer

I don't agree with your friend. I'm thinking that an emotional affair is when you cyber with a stranger on the internet. It's not real and it's not physical so I don't consider it cheating.

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How do you define emotional affair?

4 Answers