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Normal relationship or waste of time?
I have been going out with my boyfriend now for 3 months and everytime we are together we do sexual thins i.e blow jobs, fingering etc.I do enjoy it, but recently i am thinking it over and asking myself, could he possibly just like being in out relationship because of the physical things we do? We hang out about 4 times a weeka nd everytime we do these things. Is this normal? In your relationship - did you go these physcial everytime you both met up?
Is our relationahip a waste of time because when we hng out i sugegst doing soemthign like watch a film - which - we do but then we run out of ideas and just end up doing the sexual things - it feels like there is nothin else to do so just do that, it passes the time, although i do enjoy it most of the time.
What other thins could we do? Is this relationship really going anywhere if we have to rely on this? Will it get better?This is my first serious relationship so maybe this normal for a 18 year old relationship?
Thank you in advance.
Im sorry for the long post, im just a little confused right now and needed help.
6 Answers
- 1 decade agoFavorite Answer
Well for starters, it sounds like you two are taking your relationship a bit fast. Like airbrian said, the fact that sexual things is all you come up with to do may be a sign that you have very little in common. It could also be a sign that you jumped into it to soon. It would be good to take time away from it for a while to get to know each other better.
The first year of my relationship with my wife (before we were married) we did plenty of things together that didn't involve anything sexual. We did plenty of stuff that DID involve sexual things, too, but it's about loving your partner, not stimulating them. In order to love someone more you need to talk to them. Get to know your boyfriend better.
One of my favorite pieces of advice is "if you know there's absolutely no chance you will marry your partner, you shouldn't be with them". That said, you won't know if there's a chance for a lasting, mature relationship if you don't get to know him better. When my relationship with my wife started revolving around sex I chose to back off. I didn't want our relationship to be only physical because I love who she is. It's far more important to simply love being with your significant other than to connect physically.
If you run out of ideas of what you can do then get out of the house. Go for a walk in a park. Go get lunch, even if it's just McDonald's, and picnic outdoors. Ride your bikes downtown and go window shopping. Go to the movies and then get dinner afterwards. Go play laser tag ;P. All of these activities will give you the opportunity to spend time together in an environment where you'll be less inclined to get physical.
Of course getting physical is enjoyable. And I wouldn't say it's necessary to cut it out completely, but you should definitely try to do something else. Find some common ground and do something that will help your relationship revolve around your relationship rather than the physical stimulation you give each other.
Source(s): I'm working on the 5th year of a wonderful relationship with my wife. We have yet to even consider separating. - LauraLv 41 decade ago
Me and fiance usually do sexual things every time we meet. however hes in the army and gone for long periods of time so we get a little anxious haha. Im going to say that although it normal to do a lot of sexual stuff you should be able to do normal things with him too. Its also pretty normal since you havent been together long so you have that rly strong flame still. When me and my fiance were first together we couldnt get through a movie either but now its not a big deal. Just offer doing things public like going to the mall or going hiking or anything to where youre not on the couch lol thats a little tempting or tell him once in a while youre just not in the mood and see how he reacts. although ive never said that if you suspect he only wants that then it seems like the only thing u can do aside from just talking to him about it
- 1 decade ago
This is might be because neither of you have many hobbies or interests. Try learning and doing a new activity like tennis or chess or dancing together. But if your both 18 ........ it's pretty normal to be horny all the time........ don't think about it........have fun!!
- 1 decade ago
This means that you guys have nothing in common except for the fatc that you want to jump each other's bones. Not a problem, you just won't end up marrying the guy.
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- 1 decade ago
ITs all sexual. There is no friendship. When your around ur b.f. you should be able to talk, laugh, and enjoy each others company. It should be so that if dont even kiss you'd still wanna be with him, and ud still have fun. Seems like he just wants your goodies...and his lollipop tasted.