Married but in love with someone else some one help please?

Nobody should judge, because nobody is in your situation. People cheat for many, many reasons.

I think that you should do what makes you happy without being dishonest or sneaky. Be open about your feelings with your husband (don't mention the other guy). Perhaps your husband doesn't see what damage he is causing. Set limits and boundaries for yourself but don't suffer or settle either.

Talking can only improve things and make things clearer on both ends.

Put this thing with the other guy on hold until you clear up your matters at home. If you both love each other, the love will still be there.

Haven't ask yourself why it took you nine years to realize all these stuff about your husband? And, now that you're in love with someone else as you believe you are, are you really in love with that person or just the idea of being taken care of that you weren't able to experience from your husband? Sorry for those questions, but the real answer to your problem is really up to you. It's not only a matter of choosing between someone else and your husband. Those questions I asked will probably help you reflect of what had happened that it reached this really complicated point. I really hope you'll get through this. :-D

One, this was done the wrong way....

But, if you are not in love with your husband, get a divroce. No need to be together. But, how could you be putting all 100% in your marriage if you are talking to another man.?

If you want to be with the other guy, then be with him. But, you see...he has a relationship too. Wouldnt it be crappy if he left you because he was talking to another woman behind your back? Which is obvisouly what is going on here.

Since what is done is done, do what you feel you need to in your heart. It doesnt matter if you have another man to run to, would you run from your husband if that other man wasnt here? If the answer is no, maybe you should stay with your husband. If you are strong enough not to have a man opening his arms for you to run to, then maybe you need to start new.

You should get some marriage counseling. If it's over with your husband, the counselor can help you both come to terms with that fact so you can end the marriage cleanly.

If the marriage can be saved, the counselor can help you both to see each other's point of view.

Either way, I think it's important to give this careful consideration. Running off to be with another man without working through the existing marriage issues may cause guilt and regret in your next relationship.

OKK.. not 40 or married...maybe it seems YOU THOUGHT you knew love when you meet your first husband..but something hit you..a strange feeling...when you met or talked with this person...

another is...maybe you think you are in love,,because yall have so much in common..and your husband just bores you..no life to him,,,....

okkk maybe you do love him....you are 40,,, if you are sure and certain ...tell your husband whats going on...no one should have stuff done behind there backs...u say he's not there, when yall've talked..wa his mind be somewhere else????? confused

You need to forget about this other guy and concentrate on your marriage. You don't know this other person nearly as well as you know your husband. Having an affair never solves anything. It sounds like you love this other guy more than he loves you. If you choose him you may be left alone without either man.

Don't be one of those people who has a long torrid affair. Just get a damn divorce. I know it's easy for me to say to that, but consider your happiness. Life is too short.

don't bother about his calling you any thing. he is not fit to stay with you, you may move out ad you should have done this long ago.if he wants a place only to ease.not fair at all in life other than sex many responsibility which he failed to give in.he ,should be left out.

excuses, excuses

Bottom line - Your a cheater

ADD: Well If you would of mentioned what you just wrote when you originally posted the question you might have gotten different responses. If your husband cheated on you and as you said did nothing then what are you delaying the process of divorce... Just do it!! Don't you deserve to be happy?

Sounds like your marriage is falling apart. Let it go, it's probably the healthiest thing you can do, if you do not love your husband.