Help! I'm going to a Jewish wedding - what should I expect?

Are the couple religious, or is it simply two Jews getting married? If they are Orthodox Jews, it will be fairly different from what you are used to at Catholic or Christian weddings, but otherwise it won't feel all that unfamiliar.

For the actual ceremony, all you have to do is observe. The actual marriage ceremony is fairly short - they still come down the aisle like at any secular wedding (the only difference is that in Jewish tradition both parents escort the bride and groom - no one is "given away"), and a rabbi will officiate. They make a blessing over a glass of wine that they share, the marriage contract is generally read (it will be in Aramaic, so don't worry if you don't understand it), and the groom places a ring on the bride's finger saying (in Hebrew) "Behold, you are consecrated to me according to the laws of Moses and Israel." (In some Conservative and most Reform weddings, the bride may give the groom a ring as well). After that seven short blessings are said. Sometimes the rabbi will say a few words to the couple. And at the very end of the ceremony the groom will break a glass (usually wrapped in a bag or cloth napkin, so there's not much to see), symbolizing that until Jerusalem is rebuilt, no joyous occasion will ever be complete.

After the ceremony there will be lots of food and lots of dancing, usually including circle dances to Jewish music. The bride and groom may be lifted on chairs. But if it's a Reform or even a Conservative service, the reception will pretty much resemble any other wedding reception.

On the other hand, if it is an Orthodox wedding, things are a bit different. The evening usually starts with separate receptions for men and women - the bride's and the groom's. While the bride's reception is often co-ed (you'll know when you get there), the groom's table is generally men only - it's sort of a religious version of a bachelor party, but instead of girls, they discuss Torah and Talmud, trying to put the groom on the spot a bit. After the reception, the groom is danced to the bride, where he puts the veil over her face. There is a lot of singing and sometimes a little dancing, then everyone goes to the ceremony, where again, men and women sit separately. It is traditional to stand when both the bride and the groom walk down the aisle; and in many Orthodox communities it is becoming traditional to also stand for grandparents (standing is a sign of respect - if a particularly revered rabbi is called up to say any of the seven blessings at the end of the service, many times people will also stand for him briefly as they call his name). The service is essentially the same, but in many Orthodox ceremonies there is very little or no English spoken (sometimes just announcing the names of the guests and family members who will be making the various blessings).

After the ceremony, there is a reception that is fairly different from standard. Sometimes men and women sit separately, sometimes together, but when they announce the bride and groom, expect dancing like you've never seen it before - men and women dance separately (even when the seating is mixed), with the bride at some point brought over to the groom's "side" of the room to be entertained. It's considered a special mitzvah (commandment / good deed) to make a bride happy, and many guests will go out of their way to do so. At an Orthodox wedding you can expect everything from confetti and costumes to juggling and fire-eating - almost anything goes if it will make the bride happy (at our wedding we were hit with several cans of silly string, and they made a huge jump rope out of table napkins tied together and expected my groom and I to jump it - together). At an Orthodox wedding, there is usually only Jewish music played, and no mixed dancing. Getting married is considered one of the best things a Jewish person can do, and there is so much joy in the room - I can guarantee you will have a good time.

Here are a couple sites with more info on what the wedding involves:

http://www.aish.com/literacy/lifecycle/Guide_to_th...

http://www.myjewishlearning.com/lifecycle/Marriage...

Jewish weddings are beautiful! Go along & enjoy the occasion.

http://www.jewfaq.org/marriage.htm#Ceremony

that might help. I've starred for my Jewish contacts to catch.

Overall - enjoy yourself. When in doubt - toast to long life and love.

Enjoy yourself......don't worry animal sacrifice stopped a long time ago. And they didn't do it at weddings anyway

See below.