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Confusion with brain metastases of Melanoma?
'the short version'
My 38 year old ex-wife was diagnosed with a (level 4 GBM) brain tumor last December and had it removed (left temporal lobe). She had undergone radiation and finished a round of Temador last month. Two weeks ago she went for a check and it was found that a secondary tumor on the right side grew from 6mm to 6cm in a month. She said she is waiting for a surgery date? ? ? I saw her last weekend and she seemed fine. My question is this. I know the prognoses is grim, but will she remain 'normal' and slowly decline or do things go from bad to worse quickly. She is remarried and her husband prevents her from telling me too much. We have 8 and 10 year old sons together and I'm trying to prepare myself on how to help my sons cope. They are dealing ok at this point, but I know it will become worse.
Doc - Thanks a bunch
Brad W - It's hard to tell if my 11yo is being 11, or acting out because of what is going on. They both had a melt down 5 months ago and I'm waiting for another. All - I am sooo there for my kids.
oops - double hit the 1 - 10 year old.
Puzzler - right now they are with her 4 days a week and me 3 (it's always been that way) It's sad but they say that 'Mom acts like she doesn't want us around anymore'. I think she is distancing herself and she comes to terms with this.
3 Answers
- The DocLv 61 decade agoFavorite Answer
End stage cancer can look very different in different people. Some people, even those with brain mets, are completely functional and even feel pretty well until just days before their death, and decompensate quickly, some people have a much longer coarse and become sick earlier. That sounds like a very aggressive tumor though, unfortunately - and although it's impossible to predict what will happen, you should be prepared for a rapid decline in health - in that sort of situation it's possible for a patient to go from looking fine to death in a matter of days.
- 1 decade ago
Man, that's a tough one and doesn't sound good. However, if she has gone 6 months from the last surgery and they remove and radiate the second tumor she probably has a shot at hanging around a while. No one knows and I hate to prognosticate but I would guess that she will eventually (6 - 8 months) decline quickly.
I'm in a similar boat. It's tough to explain to your kids (mines 11) that mom isn't going to be around forever. I don't like to make him feel bad when he's just being the brat all kids can be to their mom but I want him to appreciate the value of what he has while he has it.
Sorry your X's husband is such a "Richard" and I wish you the best. Shoot me an e-mail if you need to vent.
- PuzzlerLv 51 decade ago
Sounds like your first concern is for the boys, which is as it should be.
I would suggest that as long as your ex wife is able and capable of supervising and enjoying your boys that you all take steps to see that they get to spend as much time with their mom as possible.
Later on you may have to provide more 'supervision' if she becomes unable to cope well.
All of you adults get together and make some good memories happen for those boys!!!
