Taking care of an elderly parent with Alz and no help...How would you feel?

Unfortunately the females pretty much get the full brunt of caring for elderly parents. It is what it is...no matter whether it is right or wrong. You can't change or control your brother, you can only change or control yourself.

Since you've already tried talking with him and he has made the decision to ignore you; that is your answer...he is not going to be there.

Trust me though, IF your mom passed away and there were still some money or property left to divide up, he would be the first one in line!

Aside from your brother's selfishness; your mom is very blessed to have you for her daughter!! :)

PRAYER WORKS EVERY TIME! You can not change him, or the way he feels, but you can pray for him; maybe this how he can hanlde your mom afflictions, to him mom is supposed kiss away his hurts, fears, etc. maybe he can not understand what his mom is going through, and he's afraid to be around her, not really knowing what to do in an emergency, so he lashes out at you. I know you don't want to hear this because this is not how you feel about what you've done, and are still doing for your mother, but I think its admirable what you have done, and are still doing for your mother, and if she really could realize what you've done she would probably say the same,but young lady there's just so much you can do,does your mom have a lawyer? so, he could take some of this burden you have on your shoulders? I personally will be praying for you and your brother and your mom. May God continue to give you the strength you need.

Been there, done that. Resentment is not helping you or changing the situation. Let it go. What is, is. You are a wonderful daughter. That has to be your reward. If a large sum of money is involved, you might want to talk to an attorney about your rights and your brother's responsibilities. It won't hurt to talk and should not cost much, if anything. You might also ask about what you can do to keep him from walzing in and claiming everything once she's gone.

Yes, a dent in my finances, a dent in my relationship with my kids and SO and a huge dent in my feelings of joy and happiness. It hit me hard that there better be some darn good memories between being born and tied down to your bed staring at the wall waiting to die. I have felt so mortal ever since, and been so sad at how short life is and what an uncertainty it is. Everyday I think this is one more day lost between me, my daughter and my grandson, and my heart aches. A very good question

Sweetie,

Brother dearest sounds like a real "Cupcake" , I used to visit nursing homes several years ago and I know she is getting decent care.

Now back to brother dearest , the christian with the mostest.......since he has a heart of gold . Take all bills, any transactions you have dealt with and write on the enveloped moved ,,,,,,,, and write in his address.

Then tell your mail carrier that you cannot accept any mail transactions for your mother anymore and that the brother will be handling it from now on.

As far as her calling him angel or something, they all talk off their heads . they can't relate to reality and truth.

You did more than enough to help your mom,

I agree with the first two answers. You have been a good daughter, and your brother has been a bad son. I don't understand why your brother can't see that you have obligations to your husband, child and job....even if he does too. I wouldn't try talking to him any more, he's not worth it. Find joy in the fact that you have done the best you can for your mom.

I am in the same situation except my mom lives with me and my brother nor my sister offer to help or even to come and see her... continue taking care of your mom and let them alone and they will regret their decision... but it will probably be to late for them but know in gods eyes u are doing the right thing...

maybe u should put her in a nursing home if she needs that much care. they take care of every thing she needs. It cost alot but worth it in the long run.. juts make sure u do research about the homes and go see how they treat their clients..

Just ignore your brother and continue to take care of your mom. There is someone up there who knows everything, and you will be rewarded later for sure.

Stop expecting your brother to grow up and be a man. That will take one thing off your already full plate.