Did I do the right thing???

Question

For the past eight years I have been with my husband; he has been refusing to get a job for the past eight years and he is homeless. At first I thought he was a very nice guy, but ever since we got married 5 years ago things have been going downhill all the way; he has been verbally abusive towards me and I feared that he would hit me; I pay all the bills and he doesn't put anything in. I refused to put my husband on my lease due to the fact he was putting me through stress with his verbal abuse, but he still comes by to visit me and he eats up all my food and leaves me with nothing. I tried encouraging him to go out and find a job but he keeps putting it off; he enjoys pandhandling on a street corner. I collect disability every month and he expects me to give him money out of my disability; which I need it to survive every month. I have been working and selling my art work and he expects me to give him money that I worked hard for creating pictures for people to enjoy.

Update:

I finally reached the breaking point and I have to face possible a divorce; I can not live like this and my family is saying I can do better. Now knowing I got him out of my life for good and he took off his wedding band; is it normal for me to feel kind bummed out?? Did I do the right thing getting rid of him?? I experienced 8 years of unhappiness and did I do the right thing?? I need your opinion please 10 pts issued for the best answer Thanks

Buttercup · Accepted Answer

He sounds like a parasite.  He offered you nothing in the way of support (financial or emotional); in fact, he was more likely to hurt you (financially & emotionally).  He was abusing you verbally & emotionally, and you feared for your safety.

You did the right thing, period.

It is normal to feel a sense of loss when we let go of even the most toxic relationships.  You deserve so much better, INFINITELY better.  Once you realize that, you'll miss him a lot less.

christal001 · Answer

Life is short, and you've in a sence wasted 8 of your years with someone that hasn't made you happy or even tried to do better.  I think you've done your part by trying to help hime be a better person by encouraging him and helping in every other aspect.  At this point all you can do is pray for him and move on with your life.  Good luck!!

Mark R · Answer

The guy has been taking advantage of you to long. A man should feel an oblgation to his spouse and family to work to better your lifes. If he does not work its because he doesnt want to. I would dig ditches at a discount to support my family. It may not pay all the bills but it would ease the suffering of my family and make me feel that Ive at least tried to do something. Panhandling is not a job.

serene e · Answer

Did you think he was the best you could do because you're on disability????   And you  continue to think that?  That he's the best you can do??
That's the only thing I can think of, since any reasonable, rational woman would have thrown this jerk out years ago!!!

Dr.  Laura has a book you should read "10 Stupid Things Woman do to Mess Up Their Lives".
This book was made for you.

Christina W · Answer

Kick him to the curb (literally) and get some counseling to help you deal with your emotional stress.  If he has to find a way to take care of himself without you, he will.  Good luck!

One Happy Mom! · Answer

If he doesn't want to better himself, leave him. It's normal to feel bummed out. In time, you will heal. Focus on taking care of yourself and finding happiness.

mona · Answer

sounds like he was bringing you down.  it's normal to feel bummed out because your relationship failed but if he can't help himself then you have to think for yourself.  you did the right thing by leaving.

Anonymous · Answer

Glad you finally woke up.  Change can be a scary thing, but once you get through it, you have already evolved.

KIT KAT · Answer

call me stupid:  but why not just move and don't tell him where you are going......?????

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Did I do the right thing???

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