why do people say "you are pretty for a black girl"?

You are correct. I think it's very rude & crude.

However, I would not spurn them. The fact that they can admit that one black person has the ability to be beautiful is an opening to make them see all black people are as beautiful as white people, or even better, that we are all ONE people.

Each incident is as unique as every person, pick your words carefully and I'm sure you'll make a convert, possibly a friend out of them.

Pretty Black People

Maybe the way most black girls are stereotyped is what turns some people off. But there are a lot of beautiful black women out here in this world. We come form all over and we are one of the most unique races out here. But some people wont even give us a break.Maybe where they live they may not see, but I've seen very pretty black woman...on TV and in person. But being black myself, I believe that we should be equally as beautiful as other women out there too.

But what that person told you does make it seem that there are no pretty black women in this world...and that's far from true.

Yeah it is kinda rude cos It's like saying Black Girls aren't usually pretty. Get it? I'm African American and I am damn pretty but sadly never had a boyfriend cos of my skin colour. So annoying

I only heard one person in my 46 years say that about an African American person. My response was "And I have such a pretty face if only I would lose weight. right?" People can be so rude. Or in my case, being the fat person who always needed to lose weight with what people would say I have a pretty face, They were trying to be encouraging to me or truly meant it as a compliment. It did the exact opposite. You are a pretty girl no matter your race. Try not to let it bother you. Some people are just plain rude and/or ignorant.

I think so too! I have had that before, like "You're pretty for a black girl," or when people used to ask for me at my former job they would say, "the pretty black girl." I think that it is rude and people do it without even thinking about how offensive it is. I usually get it from airheads!

You're right, sweetie. I don't know why people do that, but I can guess....see if this makes sense to you.

Most white people can admire the looks of an attractive African-American woman.

Most white people still do not consider dating, sleeping with, or (God forbid) marrying an African-American woman acceptible, no matter how hot she is....and I mean a lot of the people I know would even consider Tyra Banks or Beyonce Knowles off limits.

And that's where this "...for a black girl" business comes in. I think that men who say that see an African-American woman, think she's attractive...even sexy, and want to compliment her (or hit on her, who knows?). But they don't want to make it seem (even in their own heads) like she the attraction is in anyway sexual, or that they might actually (and Jesse Helms is going to spin in his grave right now) desire her.

If I were an African-American woman, I guess I would be gracious about it, because obviously this person is trying to be complimentary. But I really wouldn't take it as a compliment, because what I generally pick up when someone says that (and I'm speaking as a 50-ish white guy here) is the unspoken ending to that remark. "You're pretty for a black girl.....but that still puts you several notches below even an average white girl....and I don't want anyone to think I've got a thing for blacks, either" (there's a very rude phrase we could use here, but we'll pass on it).

I really don't get it. To me, a woman is either attractive or she's not....and skin tone doesn't enter into the equation.

Does that make any kind of sense?

It shows that they lack social graces. You are right that it is wrong, and rude. But, at least it has given you an insight towards their true character. I am afraid that we all, including "African Americans" or "blacks" seem to want to feed this segregation of accomplishments. Why is there a "Black Miss America" and why would the media note "The first African American to....." (coincidentally, I heard this on the news as I was typing this)? It seems degrading.

One should be appreciated for their personal merits, irregardless of anything else.

I think this comment can be taken two ways.

The way you described in the question. This way it would not really be a compliment. It would be rude.

It could also be that all black girls are beautiful and you are the most beautiful of all.

I personally think that they should leave out the race part of the comment and just say that they think you are a pretty girl.

i've never in 52 years heard anyone say that. i've heard people say to other people, "you have such a pretty face, if only you'd lose some weight" though. some people are just rude. it seems like women are always judged on appearance no matter what race we are. and it's so wrong.