Open casket funeral... quick question... please read??? About my kids...?

I THINK THAT YOU NEED TO TAKE THEM IT WAS THERE GRAND MA TO I DONT THINK THAT THEY ARE TO YOUNG MY GRANDPA DIED 2 YEARS AGO AND I TOOK BOTH OF MY BOYS ANY THEY WHERE ALMOST 2 AND 6 SO TAKE THEM DONT BE LIKE MY COUSIN SHE SHELTERED HER KIDS FROM GOING TO THERE GRANDPAS FUNERAL AND THERE GREAT GRANDPA FUNERAL AND I RESENT HER FOR IT

It truly depends on the child. Many children have later regretted that they didn't go to the funerals' of those they loved dearly. I would take them to the funeral; they are grieving too and it may help them in the grief process. Let them determine, though, how involved they want to be. Just an example, when I was 20, my great-grandmother died, and my grandmother insisted that I kiss her goodbye. My great-grandmother had been a spunky, loving, very warm person who was a joy in my life. When I kissed her, her body was like a cold stone you would find in the woods.Whenever I think of her now, I first think of the cold, dampness of her dead body and have to get it out of my mind before I can relive the good memories.

In other words, let them decide whether they want to look at her in the casket or just sit quietly during the sermon. Very often, young children want to say or read something about a loved one during the funeral and they should be allowed to do so if they want to. Let them lead the way. Sorry for your loss.

What you should do, is talk to your kids. Probably, they have not ever been to a funeral before. Have you explained death to them? If they can understand that Grandma has passed from life to death and now she will be in a place that everyone that loved her can come and see her one last time.

That she will be laying down sleeping. No, she cannot hear, and no she will not wake up. Will they understand that perhaps people may cry, and if they want to, they can cry too. Because everyone who loved her, will miss her so much too.

Your problem may be, attempting to explain the casket and the burial. Perhaps you might have someone take the children back to the house after the service, instead of to the internment. In this day and time, death occurs swift and sometimes often. Not only that, we cannot control the who. This may be the reason why you should. Because it is difficult to shield children from the calamities of life.

But the final decision is still yours. If you feel that your children are too young, I completely understand that. But as you said, they want to come, so you should do your very best to, make things as understandable to them as you can. Because it will not be the last time. We both know this. My sympathies to you also in your time of sorrow .

I would like to weigh in as a vote to take them to the funeral,having prepared them for the opencasket and having provided them with the option to go and simply not view the casket. You do not say exactly how much under 10 but a child of 9 say can usually handle that and is empowered by the choice. You hear a lot of horror stories about young children not going to sleep after being told"Grandma is sleeping" but comparitively few about going to a funeral. Many people have been scarred, however by that attendance being denied.Make contingency plans for if it is too much. bring diversions like small toys and snacks like at all long meetings, and I wish you luck

Take them. My Grampa died when I was six years old, and I was very close to them. My parents, who are usually great about making the right decisions when it comes to raising us kids, didn't even offer to take me. They assumed that it would be too hard on me.

As it turned out, I had really been needing to go. I needed closure, and the funeral would have provided me an opportunity to say good-bye.

To this day, my mom feels guilty about this (though I try to tell her that she shouldn't, after all, she was just trying to do what she thought was best).

I've since been to three open casket funerals and one closed casket funeral. I cried pretty heavily at one of them, but I'm glad I went to each and every one. They gave me an opportunity to reconcile myself with the loss.

My point is, if your kids want to go, you should take them. If it turns out that they wanted the opportunity to say good-bye, or it was important for some other reason, you'll never forgive yourself for not taking them.

In a situation like this it's best to ask, and then go with what they say, and it sounds like they have already decided that they want to go.

I would take them i was never taken to a funeral when i was younger and now it is hard for me to look if a casket is open and i know people who gone when they are younger and can handle it but people i know of that didn't go have more trouble going. well best of luck if u take them and i am so sorry for your loss. I know how it feels i lost both my foster parents who meant so much to me i named my daughter after them. I know a family member who had to but their cat to sleep a little over 2 yrs ago and the kids are now 5 and 6 and still don't know that the cat passed parents just tell them he is out their playing somewhere and that is it but i think they are starting to feel that something is wrong cause they see the one cat all the time and not the other they are outside cats. i know don't got anything to do with human but just an example of something.

I lost an Uncle in November, my kids were 11, 6, 4 and 1. The baby was no big deal, and the 11 year old understood. As for the other 2, I explained to them about death, and about the ritual of funerals, and asked if they wanted to go. I took them both to the wake, the night before the funeral. My six y/o was curious and looked at the body, and asked lots of questions. The four year old, decided he didn't want to go into the room. Both were fine. I took the six year old to the funeral, and the four year old, stayed with his Grandma. Talk to your kids, and have a back up plan in case it is too much for them .

Just sit down and explain to your kids that grandmas casket will be open so they will be seeing her dead body and ask them if they think they can handle that. Usually children 6 and above can handle funerals ok but if either is under 6 you need to look at how they handled the death and how they emotionally handle sad things in their life. I know my boys can't handle funerals at all, they just are to emotional but they are also only 3 and 5. My mom didn't let me go to a funeral until i was 10 because i was to emotional.

My grandfather died when I was 7, it was an open casket funeral, and both me and my brother (then 5) went.

I remember being curious, touching my grandfather's face and trying to lift his fingers, but otherwise I just remember it being boring over there lol.

A kid can never be too young to learn about death, and your kids will only get one chance ever to say their last goodbyes, don't take it away from them. Just let them know their grandma passed away and how she passed away (unless it was in a really freaky way), and just be ready to answer their questions without any taboo.

Oh and bring books or games to the funeral or they will be bored.

I would take some time to talk to your kids about it. If you are a religious family, you can explain to them that while Grandma's body will be at the funeral, her soul is not there.

Also, you might consider allowing your children to go to the funeral but getting there early so that they can see grandma before others are around - that way if they are not up to staying, you could take them home.

I don't have kids, but I do remember going to my grandmother's funeral when I was seven. If my parents had not allowed me to go, I would probably still be angry with them. Children deserve a chance to say goodbye, too.

I think that learning about death is a natural and necessary part of life. As for the open casket...that I am divided on. I, to this day, hate gazing down at the body of a dearly departed loved one. In some ways, this image always gets ingrained in my mind...and I really hate that that's the last memory I have of them - how they looked dead. I know I sound really insensitive and I'm really sorry, but if you don't feel they should go or look, then it may be best that they don't. The choice is yours.