How can i encourage my 9yr old male Tom cat and 8 week old female kitten to get along?

This is like bringing home a 4 yo child to be a playmate for your 90 yr grandpa. They may get along, but their tolerance for the energy level of the other will be limited. The older one will be fine as long as they're not pestered. The younger one will be fine as long as their only play opportunity isn't the older one.

Provide a safe haven for your older cat to get away from the kitten. Enrich the kitten's environment so she has more play opportunities. This isn't a match made in heaven, so you'll need to help them out. Use common sense and don't expect your older cat to tolerate being pestered all the time, because you're right, it's very stressful and can affect their health. Also, don't expect your cat to be satisfied with only the older cat to play with. Spend time interacting with the kitten and put different toys out (rotate so they'll stay interesting). Confine the kitten in a separate room when the old guy has had enough.

If your new kitten has not been spayed, doing so will help a great deal. She is a kitten, biting and play fighting with George seems a natural thing for her to do, but George isn't having any of it, as he has issues. So...you need to play with the kitten more, and separate them when you are away, by putting a litter box and food and water in a quiet room with some toys for either George or Mildred. That way Mildred learns to take a time out when her play becomes too rough.

This could take some time.

A friend of mine was in a similar situation.

You need to build up a trust between them by training mildred to be calm (she will as she gets older because she is a playful kitten). You should consider getting her neutered as this wil also help.

Then show George that Mildred is friendly and likes him and introduce them carefully every day- if Mildred continues take her away from him until she calms down.

It will take time but make sure your new kitten has plenty to do and has other toys to play with rather than bothering your cat. I got a kitten and my other cat hated him - eventually they played together (never thought it would happen) and it was great to see. No doubt your cat will warn the kitten off by growling when he's had enough but don't be alarmed as it;s what needs to happen.

you should reprimand your kitten to let her know that it's NOT ok to do what ever it is she's doing... but i also wouldn't put any pressure on them TO get along. I mean they will do it on their own time.. i just brought my two cats (brother and sister same age but VERY different temperaments.) into a new home where there is a 60lb dog. And it took the boy less than a week to adjust but the girl took almost a month and a half... but when i tried to encourage her, or make her do something i knew she would be scared of, she got really upset... and really, what's the hurry... just let them do their own thing..

New kitten equals time and patience. Usually the cats do work things out and all is well.

Here's an article you might find helpful:

http://www.absolutelycats.com/22Bringing.html

Good Luck!