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Getting over obsession about his amazing ex-girlfriend?

So my boyfriend and I have been dating for 11 months and I cant seem to shake my jealousy about his ex. She is perfect. She has a perfect family, comes from money and a family full of success, is very pretty, according to my bf has "amazing eyes", and just finished law school at age 28. We are the exact opposites in appearances, background, and current life situations. Our life situtaions, backgrounds, family, appearences are the exact opposite. Not to mention she shared so many lovely experiences with my boyfriend like living in Costa Rica, sharing a home, gettting a dog, traveling in various parts of the world. I just cant imgaine how I could compare to what she is and what they had.

I know, most people will say, that he is with me now and to get over it, but that never seems to help.

What mind switch helps to get past this feeling?

8 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Stop thinking about her and everything associated with her. The fact that you are even posting this question isn't helping your current situation. "Out of sight, out of mind". Get out more and do things you enjoy. Keep yourself busy so you don't have enough time to think about things that are so irrelevant now. He is YOUR boyfriend.

  • ranay
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    She may have the 'perfect life' but she couldn't maintain a great relationship with your boyfriend. You didn't mention how their relationship really were other than how things looked on the outside of it.

    It's natural to feel a bit jealous of your partner's ex since they do have a history together but losing your mind over it can make you lose focus on the relationship you have with your boyfriend. The only thing you can do is control your feeling about this by only picturing the two of you together and block the ex girlfriend out of it. And also be the best girlfriend you can be to him because there may be qualities in you he loves and was probably lacking in the ex girlfriend. Besides, he could have found someone else with the same background as hers if she were so amazing.

    Now if he is constantly talking about her, then yes, he is helping contributing to your obsession over her and if it is true, you both need to sit down and talk about the issue.

  • 1 decade ago

    first no body is perfect I know it may seem that way but just like everyone else she too had flaws that's why he is with you and not her so the first thing you need to do is STOP comparing yourself to her you are gonna make yourself CRAZY if you keep going on like this and if he always talks about how perfect she is then send him back her way because he cant fully love you if he is always talking about "miss goodie 2 shoes" what you need to do is not worry about what they HAD and work on building yalls own "PERFECT" relationship and grow from there together and that's something she obvious couldn't do with him and as life goes on you will realize people with all the money in the world are usually the most miserable people on earth money cant make you happy it can only solve a couple of problems for you girl take that man and never let

  • 1 decade ago

    well, if their relationship was really that "perfect" they would still be together right? stop sabotaging a good thing. If he didn't want to be with you, he wouldn't. He'd be out trying to find another Barbie doll lawyer. Oh, and if my husband ever talked about his ex that much and her "amazing eyes" we would NOT be married. He can shower YOU with compliments now, not his ex.

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  • 1 decade ago

    If he closed that chapter of his life then you should let it be and let it go! Make his life so enjoyable and pleasant that he will wonder how he ever lived without you! After you two marry each other then you can make his life a living Hell!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    just stop thinking about her. If he doesn't bring her up then you shouldn't. I've learned from past experience that if you just don't think about her and only think about you and him, everything will get better. I mean, yeah you're always going to be jealous, but if your boyfriend loves you then you have no reason to be jealous. obviously you have something she doesn't so don't worry bout her.

  • ?
    Lv 4
    5 years ago

    nicely such as you suggested the issue is with you each and everything is going surprising on your existence, so fairly than savour it you will possibly desire to invent a issue of your individual you could no longer substitute the previous so give up living on it, he's with you

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    come on each person is different don compare urself with her..

    u wont b happy ever then..

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