To all the people who like/love someone out there but not sure what to do?

Question

So I'm read and answered a lot of questions about girls or guys who like/love another girl or guy but they're not sure what they should do. Sorry  if this is long but this is a 100% real story of myself. I hesitated and now I"m sitting here typing this story and wondering "what if I asked her out, would things be different?" and she's in someone's arms. Sorry if it's a bit long!!



So it all started out around 4 years ago. I was in year 8 at that time. I met this awesome chick named C. She became my best friend.

Year 9. We hung out a lot and she became like the best friend I ever had. Spent lots of time together but I took her for granted.

Summer 2006, she stayed over my house because of the sun burn (I had a pool at my house) and she didn't want her mum to see it. We played bomber man on my phone. We sat so close together and gosh... I can still remember the way she looked that night, so beautiful!! I really wanted to kiss her but I didn't understand why?


Year 10, I figured out I was in love with her but I didn't know since when. Still took her for granted and I was really jealous when she was with other people. Things turned out messy. But someone we still remained good friends.

Year 11, she broke up with her first love and admitted that she was bi. I was half happy but half devastated. I was happy because she was single but I was sad because she became too easy. It broke my heart to see her out there with other people, she fell for guys after guys and girls after girls. She'd tell me how amazing some guys or girls were. She had sex many times with this chick named A. and A. never really asked her out and also A. had a boyfriend as well at that time.

Then there was this one night in July. We were both a bit sober and we sat in her room watching a movie. She leaned her head of my shoulder and we talked about stuff. Gosh, I wished that moment was forever!! She told me how nice her crush was and all that. I almost told her I had a crush on her for so long but then I didn't because I wondered what the day after would be like so I stopped and let myself suffer again.

September last year, she had a huge crush on this chick named K. but I didn't understand why cause K. was obviously not her type. So she stayed over my house for 2 nights before she went to K.'s house. I wanted to tell her not to go, I wanted to tell her to stay because I knew she liked me too but I hesitated. 

So I took her to the city to meet K. We waited at Maccas as K. walked in I was was thinking to myself "How can she like someone like this?? I'm so much more better than K.!!!!" but I left them alone because I couldn't stand to see them 2 together. I walked away as tears were running down my face. I really wanted to come back and tell her to go with me, I wanted to tell her I loved her and I always had!! But something stop me, all I wanted to do was for her to be happy!!

She broke up with K. 2 weeks later. Then she fell for another jerk who treated her so bad!! He cheated on her and never asked her out. I sat there, listened to her talk about him every time and my heart was breaking into pieces because I knew she could have been mine but I hesitated. I didn't know she would have said yes to me if I asked her. I didn't want to ruin our friendship.

March 2008 till now. She's dating this guy named D. He's just one of those jerks that she falls for. She'd do anything for him, she'd find a job just to please him, she'd forget all her friends just to be with him but he said to her if she doesn't find a job by 2 weeks, he would stop seeing her and he's angry with her pass and he can't trust her with all the wrong mistakes that she made along the way over 2 years ago.

She just called me today and told me everything about him. I was just sitting there listening to her talking about him and sometimes I add in "What a jerk", "OMG hat happened like gaes ago", "gosh". I pretended that I didn't have any feelings for her anymore.

Then she said "I don't know why I fell for K. probably because I really wanted a girlfriend, I mean she wasn't even my type..." and then it all became silence. I tried so hard not to burst out in tears. Then I said "haha yeh I know right??". 

Now I"m sitting here typing this story, wondering if I could turn back time, go back to September last year and what if I went back to maccas and told her please go with me, I love you and I always have, I just want to be with you. Would things be different? What if I didn't care about the friendship history? What if I just ignored it all just to have her and just to feel her kiss??

Now I'm hoping that if you read this and you like/love someone and hopefully, you'd go and tell them how you feel. Cause if you don't tell them, they'll never know but if they knew, would they have the guts to tell you how they feel? Please, if you love someone like this, just go out there and tell them before it's too late!!

maddie · Accepted Answer

I went through a similar situation. This girl (for privacy reasons I won't give her real name - but she was named after a flower so let's just call her Lily) is a little younger than me, only a year but when you're 11 and 12 it seems like a big difference. Me and my friends were doing a lot of experimentation at that time (when I first started realizing I was bisexual) and since she saw me as so experienced, she asked me to teach her to kiss. It escalated from there, and before long Lily and I were sneaking around at sleepovers, doing ... all sorts of stuff :) We had a falling out, and for a year she didn't speak to me at all. In Year 9 we started being friends again ... And the messing around started again. For years we would do this, and recently I realized I was in love with her. I gave her an ultimatum - either be with me or we have to stop messing around, because I can't take it anymore. Lily turned me down. I've never been so crushed in my life. But it was so freeing - She was in my mind for four years, and I could finally let her go. So think about that. I know it seems impossible - it did for me - but you have to do it. Now Lily and I are better friends then we've ever been, because there are no secrets. Trust me :)

Clouds667 · Answer

that sounds painful! i so get u lol- like having moments with her which u just wanna go back to.. like the bomber man thing. it hurts so much! 

even though she sounds like shes had so many people, she seems to still talk to u about it and remain close to u the whole time. reading this really makes me think u should tell her- how has the situation been left? if your not at school/college with her anymore then u wont have to face her in front of other people which makes it easier to tell her how u feel.

i do exactly what u do! pretend i dont have feelings by acting casual and stuff..but this is hurting u and giving her the wrong signals that u are not interested in that way. i say meet up, get to a situation where u are alone together sittin close n just look deep into her eyes, hold her gaze and smile! drop a few hints...

Anonymous · Answer

Oh gosh, as I'm reading your story the song "Falling in love" just suddenly came up! How weird O.o 

That's such a sad story! I feel real bad for you sweetie. It's too bad she doesn't see you in that way because I would've told you to TELL HER ALREADY..but yeah..sorry.

It's just this year that I figured I was bi and it was all because I had such strong feelings for my straight firend that it overwhelmed me in the end to her how I felt about her. I was heart broken for a bit but I eventually got over it and things with me and her are all good now. I do however, still feel uncomfortable when she talks of the guy shes seeing atm. Don't know why though. 

I do have someone in my heart right now though, but once again, I can't be with them. We both admitted we liked each other but she lives a state away. I'm convinced she's forgotten about me already as she hardly signs on msn anymore or txt because of "school" but yeah it's hard not to think of her every so often. 

*sigh x 100* 


Try to keep your chin up darls and look forward
Even though it seems hard now, you will move on and find someone whom will give you all the love you deserve.

Much Love 
xoxo 



p.s.  (((HUG)))

Anonymous · Answer

Oh my...Eva that is a crazy awakening! 
Thats the saddest,most amazing and moving story I have heard...
And now I think I know what I have yo do. (If you check out some of my questions you'll know what I mean)

It sounds like you really love her, just like I love someone else but Im too much of a coward to let her know. 

Im 18 and have been love with this woman for (wait) 3 and a half years, and I dont know why but I cant stop loving her. I have tried, I have ignored her sometimes, had fights with her, handed in my prefect badge because of her, but no matter how much I try and deny or getaway from this attraction we are both just drawn back together... she's 36, Im 18. I know it doesnt make sense, but this feeling is so deep, and our connection and the only extent I have ever gone to was asking her why she cared about me so much and her replying "if you dont know the answer to that by now..." And I did nothing! I have 3 months left before I have to let her go, we wont be seeing eachother that much, but I know I have to try...just try. Somehow I know I can have her but somehow I know i cant and sometimes I dont know if she still feels the same... 

But I am rambling, your story has been an eye-opening one I think you can still tell her...you obviously love her (your female right) and if you keep watching her get hurt and she doesnt know that there is someone right in front of her that will protect her, you have to let her know.

Anonymous · Answer

You should be. When you said you were shocked by the statement of your classmate when you told you he is in love with you in front of your classmates and even your own teacher. You are gay right? So I suppose his gesture of telling you in front of these people is meaningless because he is just showing up. I think you know what I mean. It is part of the show or a get up to impress himself in front of other people. HE DOESN'T LOVE you. He is simply fooling you and the rest of the classmates and even the teacher. He is NOT sincere about it. IT IS LIKE A PART OF THE JOKE. At 18 years old he is not that serious yet to tell people what he really feels. Well if you do not believe me then you observed him for the next couple of months then you will see what I mean, again DO NOT BE SHOCKED ABOUT IT.

ChessMan · Answer

Never say never. It sounds like you disapprove of promiscuous behavior? just a little bit, is that what s holding you back, your friend even though she may be making bad choices, is also choosing to get out there and try. Not wait and see what lands on her lap. Maybe you have been friends for so long now, that she can only ever view you has a friend? But unless you try, you will never no. Remember though, never ask a question, unless your prepared to get an answer you don't like. Chin up

Anonymous · Answer

Aww omg thats so sad :( Im sorry u had to go through all that. 
Im the same at the moment i tell my girl i love her all the time and she tells me she loves me but she wont leave her boyfriend cause she is scared to be alone! Which makes no sense.. If ya want someone to talk to you can always email me :) have a good day.

Nick · Answer

You still love her obviously. Trust me, everyone wishes they had a Time Machine so they could fix their mistakes. But the fact of the matter is, we have to live with out mistakes. And I believe things happen for a reason. So, if you still lover her, I say tell her. Tell her everything. You're suffering because you love someone and that's just not right. Love is supposed to make us happy, not sad. I say this because I know what it feels like to be in your position. Just tell her. Please. You have nothing to lose. Except the love of your life.

? · Answer

I totally have a similar story.
I met this one girl in my locker room in 8th grade. (yeah I know I guess I'm a perv) 
She was new to the school and I became her first friend, basically the only person that wasn't faking being nice only because she's new.
I ended up really liking her, but I wasn't sure if she liked me at all so I kept my mouth shut. 
Then soon after meeting her I moved.
I later called some of my old friends and one of my old friends told me she was bi and ended up dating her. 
It totally sucked because I've never met anyone like her and I wish I just spoke up sooner.

sandison · Answer

Tell all this to your friend, there is nothing to stop you but fear perhaps.  Time past is time lost with love that is not expressed.  Take your own advice from the last paragraph you have written and go forth with it.

Good Luck!

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To all the people who like/love someone out there but not sure what to do?

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