I'm 20 and I feel overrated about having a deep conscience. Is there anyone around that thinks like me?

Question

I've always been very concerned about other people and also about the way my actions influence,in good or bad ways, other people's lives.
I've also tried to be the best human being I could be.

PHYSICALLY: Sports, not get into drunks, Don't smoke, don't drink, and caring about what I eat and checking frequently my health. When it a routine for every of my friends to go to McDonald's I find it repulsive. The same way with drugs (everyone around me seems to take them, even the more intelligent ones, what it's a total contradiction)

INTELLECTUALLY: I study a lot about what I'm interested in.I feel like I owe attention to important people and periods of time that are behind me.So I feel like I can understand everyone, in every period. It's weird, but I guess is because I read a lot about a lot of things. Besides portuguese, mother language, I speak english, french and german. It seems that no one cares about the state of the world, and everyone just want to exhibit the latest fashion trends and go the scene clubs...Well, I like it too. I'm 20, and it's normal. I listen to music a LOT, i go the cinema even more often and I am a major cultural consumer. I think the access to art forms should be more communitary, but art is now a industry too and artist have to eat as everybody else so, in order to consume art, I'm oblied to keep on spending my money. It's the  entertainment's logic. But, I may say that it's mainly from books and from movies (docs and fictional) that I take my ideologies from. I think that, as life is so short and so many bright people have thought about about, have lived it in a different way and have sometimes came to brilliant conclusions, shouldn't I have the duty to know what they have said, so I can build my own moral standards? 

MORAL: I don't have a specific religion nor ideology. I am a mix of what I find is best. It's nazi inspiration to put your body as your temple and not to contaminate it. I'm also a vegetarian, as Hitler was, but it's just a healthy precaution and, specially, a way that will save animals and resouces. I also do activism in this direction.That's is a hippie thought, as well as my anti-violence conception. I am tolerant with immigrants, other races and all sexual orientations and genders. Everyday, I see people around me doing things that are considered bad without feeling any guilt: Stealing a bracelet, cheating on the girlfriend, lying without mercy to everyone...
It's so weird, because even people that I trust have done this to me or around me. I'm always hunted by guilt and I find it really hard even to lie. My conscience just don't let me. I sometimes think that it's because I have had an christian education. Although I am, nowadays, spiritual but not religious: I do believe in something superior but I do not attend any church or congregation.
I just somethings think that it's so unfair: I mean, I make such an effort to be the best I can, and no one else seems to care. When I just keep on thinking about ways to improve this stupid thing that we call world, constructed over the injustice and by the naturally badness of the human being, I feel that it's impossible.
Even politicians, that should be life role models are complete thieves.
When it comes to juridical terms, it's clear: we have laws because human being could not live in an anarchist system: we all have different opinions (and that's good!), there's got to be an universal code to protect anyone and to conclude what's right and what's wrong. But, in stead of seeing everything as a imposition, I don't people start to think about the laws with the respect they require, with the perfect conscience that they are necessary and then, in perfect agreement, accept them with a smile? Why don't people make their own moral rules and respect them and their selves?
Well, I know that people, in general, will always be bad and selfish but it seems that some old general values are lost. Like the proud, giving each one's word as the guarantee to actually make something. Words are only words in everyone mouth... they don't mean nothing anymore. I just don't trust and I would like to.

.... well, is there still anyone good out there?...

(i'm sorry for the grammar mistakes. it was written in a full speed mad mode ;))

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I have this sense that you try very hard to do the right thing and though your beliefs are eclectic and somewhat polarized - you're doing your absolute best and staying "middle of the road" where it's safe.

You left out a synopsis of your "spiritual" self and I'm wondering why...since that seems to be the crux of all this (hence the commentary on belief structure).

Your question about people making their own moral rules and sticking to them...
society molds our morality...
there are some people that DO make their own moral rules and suffer extreme persecution for doing so.

I hope this rant allowed you to organize your thoughts and kept you from being to angry for long.

S.j. · Answer

Hi, I'm 20 too, and this is something I definitely have been frustrated with. As you said, why not be the best you can be? I feel like all I do is try to be fair, honest, and kind to others, and do the best for my self all the time -- and when I mess up, I resolve to do better next time. It seems like not many people do this, and it's frustrating, I know. Even worse, many people would rather deny the truth and live with their (admitted) self-delusions than grow as a person. The worst thing, in my opinion, are all the lies, that I see as inexcusable, but many people see as a necessary and normal part of life.

But you and I, we're not infallible either. You, like me, sound a bit conceited about what how we are. Just try to stay modest and learn to accept people for how they are, with love, and keep looking for other people like us (who really want to do good).

Sometimes I get really lonely thinking that I'll never find a good friend or lover I can truly trust because so few people are genuine or seem to care. It's good to know I'm not alone.

Kayle · Answer

Brilliant piece of writing. I feel that you have a lot to think through in your own mind. You are externalizing a lot of the turmoil that your feeling inside and also that you are grasping for answers that you may never find. You said "constructed over the injustice and by the naturally badness of the human being" and i fell in love with it. You make a lot of great points but you seem to be asking these questions of yourself more than us, the reader. 
 "If people who are being theirselves are not understand, the problem is not theirs. It's in the others' people lack to accept the difference." is a great point, and again, i love it. I do not have the patience to answer all your questions, and I can not answer most of them, i do not believe that anyone can, but if you would like to speak to someone who feels very much the same way you do, and that does seem to be the only real question you have asked of us, then by all means please do send me some messages. I would be happy to discuss anything you want.

 Oh, and your right about one thing for sure; you do owe attention to the past, we all do.

lvcamvn · Answer

I read the first 2 items, the last one was way confusing for me.

Anyway, I understand that you rely a lot on reasoning: What is appropriate? Why is something so and not so? etc.

I imagine we share that trait to some extent. Would you like to add the concept of "Arbitrary" into your reasoning system?

And are you also an industrious person?

Bullfrog21 · Answer

Well I'll read it. As I did I was reminded of Luke 18:18-21. You seem to be looking for something. Perhaps it is this
http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-7nW.GC8hd6Myqk3bfl.QI9FwSyY4jw--?cq=1&p=9 
Or perhaps this
http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-7nW.GC8hd6Myqk3bfl.QI9FwSyY4jw--?cq=1&p=22

Anonymous · Answer

You are way too serious. Maybe you should start drinking or some thing. Nazi's? Hitler? Vegetarian? Give me a break.

legalmag · Answer

hi, add me as one of your contacts, i really like your piece, it is worth reading.

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I'm 20 and I feel overrated about having a deep conscience. Is there anyone around that thinks like me?

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