I think my boyfriend is cheating but not sure.?

My opinion is the majority of answers you've recieved so far are rubbish and are people just putting their two cents in and not really thinking..

I will tell you right now it is unhealthy in a relationship to try and keep you're partner from being friends with anyone, be them male or female. Haven't you ever had a guy friend in your life? Then is it so hard to believe your boyfriend has a female-friend. I've been with my guy for a year and we both opposite sex friends and we introduce them to each other and speak to them in front of each other as to never worry the other.

3 years is a long time and Im sure that your insecurities from the past are having a great impact on the way you deal with your relationship now.. but you can't let them. Letting them is only giving into them and proving you're not over being hurt in the past. This is a new man, he is NOT your exes. He hasn't given you any reason to distrust him. He's had two children with you. If he is any sort of man he would never even think of cheating on the mother of his children. You need to learn to let go of your hurt from the past and imbrace the fact that you have a great man who unless you have real hard evidence to believe has been cheating on you very likely isn't.

You say that he would be pretty upset if you were speaking with a guy friend, this is very unfair and I think you two should work on this problem but in another way it is kind of another reason to believe he is being faithful. He wants you all to himself. He doesn't want you to wander off and find someone better. Just as you don't want him to do the same. But I will give you both some of the best advice Ive ever gotten in my life:

"Jealousy works the opposite way you want it to."

Think about that for a while and you will see. Being jealous and insecure and getting into fights over suspicion will only ever push your partner away. It is just human nature. Neither of you want to fight but you're scared to lose one another so you argue to prove a point then you want each other just for yourselves. But continueing like that at some point could tear you apart.

My advice to you is practice trusting your man, even if you don't really at first, when she calls tell yourself in your head "they're pals, they're buddies, im his woman, i sleep with him at night, im the mother of his children, he loves me and i know it" Even if you're not sure if you believe all this at first, just repeat it to yourself over and over and push the suspisious thoughts away and out of mind. When you feel that awful feeling in the pit of your stomach of jealousy and suspicion take a breath and literally shake it off. Put it out of your mind.

When you're man gets off the phone, don't pry, don't ask a million questions and don't be nosy. Men and women alike hate being interrogated. If you feel the need to ask anything, do it with a genuine interest. Ask how his friend is, say "How's so-and-so doing? Thats good" leave it at that. Your boyfriend will be surprised and pleased that you felt comfortable with the call. If you haven't done so already, meet her and be-friend her. If she has a husband then do a double date. If they're friends then there should be absolutely no problem with that. Who knows, if you got to know her you may see why your boyfriend enjoys having her as a friend, she's probably a cool chick. You two could become better friends than your boyfriend! The point is, that if there really is NOTHING going on then your boyfriend will be very pleased to see you happy and comfortable with his friend.

Gotta remember, every partner had a life before you, and some things shouldn't have to change just because you're uncomfortable with them. Sometimes its just not your place to say. Its important not to become co-dependant once in a relationship. You still need to be able to stand on your own two feet, and you need to let him do the same. Just because he is with you doesn't necessarily mean his life revolves around you. He is still a person with needs.

You said yourself, he hasn't done anything to make you think he's cheating. You practically answered your own question :) You just need to learn to put the past in the past and imbrace the fact that you have what you deserve, a loving boyfriend who won't cheat on you and hurt you like your exes did. Be grateful! Don't waste your days worrying being jealous!

If there isn't any other problems in your relationship and you've got no reason to believe his friend is more than a friend, (and not to be too personal, but if your sex lives are perfectly fine) then I really do believe you have a faithful man. Be happy :)

AND BTW: giving him an ultimatum, is about the worst thing you can do. Telling him HER or ME, will only do you bad. He doesn't want to have to choose between the woman he loves and her friend! That is just dumb and will just make him resent you. Men don't want to be controlled or kept. Plus you will make yourself look like a jealous psycho girlfriend. If he loves you and if you love him then there should be no problem. NEVER make a man choose between his girlfriend and his friends. Dumbest thing a woman could do. And vice versa for men to women. You wouldnt want your boyfriend doing it to you.

That's like me... I have a female friend who I always talk to and stuff. But I know my girlfriend's a little wary about it. I'd never ever cheat on her! And me and the other girl are just friends and even if I was single I probably wouldn't wanna be with her anyway seeing as we're so close!

I know I shouldn't really talk to her so much and stuff but we're really good friends!

Obviously though that's different cos we're around 16.. but still maybe they're just really close friends.

But ya sorry I'm no real help.. G'luck with it!

OK

Let me tell you my opinion. If this was my man, I would hate it. And anyways for him YOU SHOULD COME FIRST THAN ANY FRIEND MALE OR FEMALE. Its ok to have female friends, to be friendly with females, but not bonding with them like talking all the time on the phone for a boyfriend. Why is he talking so long to her on the phone anyways. Why are they calling each other? Really weird. This girl needs a girlfriend to talk to, and your boyfriend should go playing soccer with a man.

Just do not make a huge problem over it however tell him clearly that this friend he has, and how much they talk and all its just a little stupid tell him how would he liked if you were forever on the phone with John.

The signs of cheating are: hes dating another girl, he ingnores you most of the time, and of cah-ource, he saying mean things behind your back.

Now, that hasn't happened yet, right? So don't worry about a ting, cause every little ting, is gonna be all right ( and this isn't rude for the record)

I would cut that sh-- off right now! There is no way I'd let my husband have a girl as a best friend.. unless she is gay. Shouldn't you be his best friend?

Something is wrong with that whole picture... If he loves you.. He would cut that relationship off immediately!!! Im not being rude... HE IS for doing you the way he is.... Tell him... her or me... then you will know if hes cheating or not!

I would say please be straight with me....is it possibly me being insecure or is there something really going on? I just want to know the truth....and if it is just me being insecure lets talk about why I feel this way. Men have little clue on how there actions affect us even if they are doing the right thing. Good luck!

You ever think that maybe they are just friends? Let him be friends, he bounces ideas off her to get a girls view about things. He might ask her why you do things and she might explain it to him. A opposite sex friend is good for a relationship.

Call Cheaters

well yes of course like the old song boy's just want to have fun. they just go from girls to girls and never care how they hurt

If he hasn't done anything to merit your distrust, then it's probably insecurities from previous relationships. Don't let what other guys have done to you ruin this relationship.