Question about sign language, deaf culture and courtesy..?

Question

I have friends who are deaf that I hang out with sometimes. Now, I know enough sign language to get by, but sometimes, they sign so fast that I can't understand everything, and I get lost. Now, some of these deaf friends are able to vocalize what they are saying (it's not crystal clear speech, but it's good enough that it helps a lot) but the thing is when they sign to each other they do not use their voices, which is fine. The thing is, when I'm with them, I have told them that sometimes they sign too fast and have asked if they could please use their voices along with the signing (which is easy for them because they do not use ASL, they use signed English). They very rarely do this for me. And I don't feel right in asking them every 2 minutes to stop and repeat what they signed, or ask them "what did you just say?" because this would happen a LOT...But they have complained that when I am verbally speaking with someone else in their presence (whomever - it doesn't matter if that person knows how to sign or not) they complain that I sometimes do NOT sign what I say. Now here is my issue...I know it is courtesy to sign what we say in the presence of deaf people (whether they are part of our conversation in the first place or not), in case they wish to join in our conversation. But I think it is the same courtesy the other way...so shouldn't the deaf (if vocalization is possible) use both their voice and sign at the same time if there is someone like me (who is not fluent in sign) around them? And I am only talking in a social setting...at a bar, party, whatever. Shouldn't we all take care to make sure everyone feels included? I don't expect the deaf people who cannot verbalize to do so, but there are some deaf people who CAN verbalize and sign at the same time. 

What do you guys think? I am particularly interested in the opinions of those involved in the deaf culture.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Yes, if people are capable of simultaneous communication, and there are people among the group that need both - yes that is the most polite thing to do. In fact I would go further and say that if there are people who can translate for another person who is not capable of simultaneous communication that is also the most polite thing to do. 

I sign a little and lip read a lot.

ncamedtech · Answer

Some deaf do not like to vocalize because they know that they voices sound different.  Therefore they will try to vocalize by orally speaking and signing. Now if they are signing to quick for you to understand then you need to be blunt with them and tell them to slow down so you can understand. This is acceptable in deaf culture.  Deaf are not self conscious about signing around other deaf. This is how information is communicated.  That is a hearing culture thing that we want people included so we will make sure that everyone is included in the conversation.  Do not expect all deaf to verbalize verbatim.  Their language is sign language-ASL. I wouldn't worry about it just continue to learn their native language.  You will do fine.

Z · Answer

It's quite easy to forget yourself when you're around other signers- just like people who often loose track of their speech and talk too quickly. 

It's not at ALL rude to ask them to slow down- even often. If it becomes an issue, have a discussion with them about how you really want to be involved with them but can't quite keep up. 

That said, I do think that verbalizing to someone who DOES sign some will only slow down the learning- they're doing you a favor, if unintentionally, in that respect. 

I do think they're being rude, personally. if I'm with a  non-signing hearing person and a deaf person or a hearing person and a terp, I sign and speak.

Anonymous · Answer

I am deaf myself :D and quite frankly im lucky that i dont use sign language. i talk normal my voice is normal but sometimes you can tell that i am deaf. But i feel sorry for the deaf children who got taught sign language as i think sign language affect your speech well they can affect your speech. if they can talk very well then ask them to try and talk that way because that will improve their speech. signing is hard i tried to learn it a couple years back and i now only know alphabets thats it. i get asked loads if i can so sign language as a lot of people think thats all deaf people can do but nope thats not true. your friends would of probably been able to speak clearly aswell but because they have been taught or sent to a deaf school that uses sign language thats why their speech isnt that good. 
Anyway getting to the point :) 
when your in a bar in a group of friends you could try using a bit of language so they can feel included, but never be self consious you are being a good friend by learning sign language! 

Good Luck sorry for the essay xxx

SSA Registered Disabled PWD KING ♕♛ · Answer

If people can verbalize and use sign language at the same time, then it should be alright to ask.

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Question about sign language, deaf culture and courtesy..?

5 Answers