married and husband says hes not ready?

I had my first baby at 21, and looking back, I would have been smart to wait a bit. I had also been on my own since 16, and thought I was quite mature. Looking back, I wasn't. There is nothing like waiting a few years to put your current situation in prospective. Please, take some time to be a couple before you decide its time to have a baby.

Judging from your responses, you do have some growing up to do. With that attitude, you really need to wait until you can control your emotions a bit better before you can raise another person.

My life doesn't suck, but the wrong decision about having children can sure make YOURS suck, so be careful.

You also want to be careful not to get pregnant until your husband is ready so that he doesn't feel alienated. This is a MAJOR life decision, and if he's not ready, you can't force it. Don't be selfish.

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If you don't like people's opinions, stay away from Yahoo Answers, because you'll get all kinds, not just the ones you want.

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And as for retiring at 45, its a nice dream, isn't it? You never know what tomorrow brings. My dad was Vice President of a very good bank, and after 35 years, 5 years away from retiring, he got laid off when the bank was bought out. We lost everything. Don't count on retiring early, or even at all, be smart, please.

$400 a month?? Where do you live?

The pair of you are too young for children, let alone marriage. Ask again in 10 years. It's all well and good you can take care of yourself, but the fact is you're still 20 and should be acting like you're 20. Why aren't you in college? You're throwing your life away. This is not 1952.

ADD: Paying your bills on time and a willingness to stay home does not constiute an adult. You have so much more growing to do. People wait to have children because being at your most mature makes you a better parent. Sure, you can start having babies now, but you'll make a lot of mistakes you won't when you're 30. Who's bitter? Online classes and suburbia? Please- you're barely skimming the surface. The world doesn't need another stepford mom, we need smart, powerful women raising smart, powerful children. Do something with yourself. Marriage is not a be all end all of your life. You're wasting away.

ADD: Listen to Devon, she knows what she's talking about. You're obviously not mature enough yet. You can't even get your emotions in check (and that's normal for someone your age).

Wow. Young kids. I don't blame him for not wanting anymore kiddies right now. It has been a long hard road for him. That is quite a challenge for both of you. You can't really convince him to have another child. There is obviously no talking him into it. Though, you should have serious discussions about it. One thing, who is he to tell you that having a child will ruin your life? It will not ruin your life, but it will be tougher in some regards. Are there certain things that you guys want to do career wise or any aspect that needs to be completed before you start all over again? I don't believe that having a baby will "complete" you. Shouldn't you already be "complete"? Whatever that means lol. I understand you want your own child and he shouldn't get to tell you no or yes. It's your decision too. But, it's up to the both of you. I really don't think I've helped at all....The only thing I suggest is communication! Be upfront and honest of your expectations from him as a hubby, dad, and partner. He needs to know where he stands and he in turn needs to tell you what he expects from you in the same areas. If you guys are meeting those expectations, then why not have another baby?? Good luck. And good job for helping him with his kiddies from a previous marriage. That can be tough!

You are young and newly married...Im not critisizing you for your age because Im 22 and pregnant with my 2nd Im just saying let the marriage have time like at least a year after marriage...maybe if you dont talk about it so much he will come around. My hubby and I have been together for 6yrs but married for 3.5yrs. This is his 1st biological child and he was very nerveous but now he is exstatic that Im having his little baby. You say the money is there so what id do is slowly get some neutral baby stuff and put it in a spare room and if it is something you really want he will understand and maybe come around sooner, just dont talk it everyday...he will come around...its not like hes scared of commitment because he married you, maybe he just is scared of the idea of a baby completely dependant on you 2....also a baby wil mean time off work for one of you which means less income for a while...Just think things from his view and maybe you will see where he is coming from...have a heart-heart talk with him and let him see your side but also be open to his side....good luck and if you go ahead with baby lots of baby dust your way....*blowing it to you*

I dont see what the rush is to have a family, why not travel the world, make new friends and do something cool with your life. Children are very expensive and take up alot of time. Your only young once, and once you have children your dedicated for your whole life,whats a few extra years to do something with YOUR life, find out who you are. I wish I traveled the world and experienced more things before I had kids,I too graduated at 16, went to work full time completed my full apprenticeship with fine art baking and cooking. I always find the most interesting people are those that have seen things and experienced things. Money isnt everything, but it sure sounds like you do have things going on with your life, which is awesome, but why not find out who you are before you bring in a whole new generation.

Maybe he just thinks that you two are to young to have baby right now. You don't want/need to have a baby until your both ready. If he never seems to get to the point that you are then you might want to start thinking about finding someone that wants the same things in life.

He means that he would be ok if you just said "honey, I'm pregnant" but he is scared to make the decision to have a baby himself. Easier for him if it happens and it was out of his hands, not his choice. Perhaps you could not use birth control and just let nature take its course?