does your boss make you feel bad that you are pregnant?

Question

For the most part, i have had a relatively great pregnancy. only 'all day' sickness with out throwing up around weeks 8 and 9 only, no real trouble with modd swings or any other problems to mention that usually pertain to being pregnant, except for the occasional sciatic nerve pain acting up every once in a whlie.
That being said, i am now 7 months pregnant. I started going to the doctor regularly or every 4 weeks starting in June. My appointments would be early in the morning around 9 or so, so i would take off the whole day just because i would be so tired just from sitting there waiting in teh dr office just to be seen. It seems that every time i would go there would be something that has happened, the doc had to go do a delivery or they would just be so backed up that every time i have been i was there for 4 or 5 HOURS> plus when i get out of the docs office, i would be starving so we would go eat, plus i have my mom riding with me so in order for me to go back to work that day i would have to drop her off 25 miles past where i work and then turn around and make it to work in time for 30 mins of work and thats it...HA! i'd much rather just take off the whole day and not WORRY. 
So since June i have had 4 docs visits so far, but last thrusday, right before my 4th visit, last firday, my boss dropped a bombshell on me.
a lil back story...i was out sick last wednesday because i had trouble breathing the night before and the next morning, my head was not feeling right, like i just couldnt focus and well it just wasnt 'right', for hte WHOLE day i was like this. so i called him that morning around 545 and 2 more times after that leaving him messages explaining the situation and that i didnt feel safe driving, etc. plus i called the answerign service to have it on paper that i did call in. So finally i got in touch with him and asked if he had listened to my message, in which he said yes adn the I STILL HAD TO COME IN! i was like no, i dont think i can even drive - PLUS i NEVER call in, ever since he told me years ago (i have been with the company for 5 years) that 'i can be just as sick at work as i can be at home' - oh yeh this is what i have to deal with! but anyways in the 5 YEARS that i have worked here i have MAYBE called in 15 times, thats 3 times a year! and now he wants to pull some crap about me not having sick days left because i have been going to the doc for my check-ups ( i did have jury duty sept 8-10 so he might be confusing that time as well - but that shouldnt matter!)
SO last thursday when i had returned from being sick, he bust thru my door, not with feeling better or anything, it was YOU CANT BE OFF ANYMORE! YOU HAVE NO MORE SICK DAYS TO USE! - i told him immediatley that i had a doc's appt the next day for my sugar test and rhogam shot. he didnt really say anything and left my office. he returned about 10 mins later apparently having thought about what to say to me and burst in again to yell and scald me about my sick days (which we dont do sick days here) TIFFANY! YOU CANT BE OUT ANYMORE! YOU NEED TO WATCH ALL THESE TIMES YOU HAVE BEEN GOING TO THE DOC CAUSE YOU ARE GOING TO USE UP ALL YOUR VACATION DAYS. i was heartbroken and infuriated at the same instant - i'm on salary, a day off here and there shouldnt matter i was thinking, but all i could do was look at him in a stupper, with my mouth i know had to by open adn just dumbfounded.  i have EARNED my vacation days & since he will not pay me to be out on my maternity leave (6wks), i have to use the VAC days (3wks) to live on while i'm out! so he's really going to do that to me after all this time i have been here, faithfully showing up to work sick, on saturdays, whenever he asked...it just sucks that now i am stuck here til jan or feb cause of insurance - otherwise, just from that stunt adn there have been bigger doosies BELIEVE ME i was ready to move on. He was trying to mess with my childs time now, uh-uh. I mean what am i to do if i dont at least have my vacation days to tide me over for at least half the time i will be out?!?! Why would he make the time thats supposed to be joyous and fantastic, filled with OMG what am i going to do? That's the part that really crunched me. (of course my husband works full time also, but we still need both incomes)
Starting next Friday i'm going to have to start going to the doc every 2 weeks, then after about 3 or 4 visits i know imma start going every week - what will he do then? i've tried moving my appoints early and later to at least TRY to get to work whenever i can but, you get whats avail and i cant help that the doc visit lasts as long as it does...
WHY DO I HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THIS CRAP? WHY?!?! it isnt fair!!!
SO this morning i really didnt feel good, i really didnt wanna come to work today, but heavfen forbid that i am out sick because i am PREGNANT! i just dont think its fair he makes me feel bad that i am pregnant adn especially when i am truly sick!
any one else have a tyranic

proud wife and mommy of 3 · Accepted Answer

my boss was a lady and she was not a kid person!!! she wanted me to wear heels and always be there, only eat at lunch time and not go to the bathroom 100 times aday! I had to go to her boss and explain that I was pregnant (obviously) and I had to at least snack on thing (even secretly) and I had to wear flats (my feet were SO swollen I could on fit into crocs) and I had to pee often! he was more understanding then she was! but of course that made my life worse because she was mad that I had gone to her boss (I was darned if I did and darned if I didnt) 
 The worst was I was due November 18th, so I put my last day in was nov 15 (I had a doc apt on nov 16) and I wanted a couple of days to just relax and do all the last minute things before I gave birth, not to mention I know from my last doc apt that I was already 1cm dilated. so my boss b*itch and moaned and had the nerve to ask why I did work up until I went into labor. I work 30mins from home and with traffic it was 1hour, I mean oh ya I just drive home in labor to make it easier for her! but so then on the 16 I went to the doctors and he told me to go to the hospital because I was going to have a baby! so long story short I gave birth nov 17 9:18 am so I guess I should have stayed at work until nov 17 9:17am:) 

maybe you should see if there is a better place to work then with that a whole! I mean you have 5 years with him so that looks really good on a resume. good luck and I hope you have a better day!

♥Lucky♥ · Answer

It's standard procedure for a pregnant women to go to the OB every month in the last trimester and then every week at the end of the pregnancy.  Not to mention the other appointments for bloodwork, glucose testing, ultrasounds,etc.   Surely you are not the first pregnant person to work at the office??  

If there is an HR person, discuss your situation with them in order to find out exactly how many days you have.  You may have to take some unpaid days off for doctor appointments, but you still need to go to them whether your boss likes it or not.

? · Answer

You can take as many days off as you need and there isn't anything they can do about it, and you shouldn't have to be using your vacation days for dr apts.  Unless, this is at your request.  Your employer is in the wrong!  I go to the dr, WIC, and Medicaid all of the time, not counting all the times I have had to go for an ultrasound, bloodwork, and glucose test.  My employer hasn't said anything to me, they infact put me as a salary employee so I could still get paid for just a couple hours of missing work every week, although I have only missed one day in two years.  So they value me as an employee.  
I in fact have my 28w apt today at 3:40, but am leaving at 2 so I can get there on time.  My dr is an hour away from where I work.  

You need to talk to someone in HR to let them know the things he's saying to you are uncalled for and he could get into real trouble if he fires you or lays you off for pregnancy reasons.

Baby Ruth habla español · Answer

ok I read like half of it and some other lines. Point is, no matter how right you are, he is paying you to work and not to take days off. I'm also a FT working mom and when I was pg I hadt to go to my Dr's appt and then inmedialtely return to work. I don't mean to sound rude but I think you over did it on that one by taking the whole day. Now, calling in sick is another different story, but some bosses are just not as understanding and it is pretty obvious that he is pissed at you already! Do you have a HR department? find out what your options are, etc. Good luck! I agree it is not fair how we working moms get treated.

FEMALEINARMY · Answer

Sucks Right,  Every boss is like that until something really bad happen to you on the job and it affects the baby.  My job was the same way then one day I went into preterm Labor at 6 months.  Boy they were scared SH** less.  I think all guys get pissed and jealous because they don't get time off like that.

Anonymous · Answer

he can't treat antenatal visits as a sick day. you are entitled to have paid time off for any pregnancy related appointments. even therapy or whatever if you're in pain. if you feel really stressed ask your doctor to sign you off work for a weeks or so so you can rest. good luck and hope everything goes ok for you =D

angie · Answer

Well do this.. next time ur sick just go into work so he can see how shity you really feel. Make sure that u give him all the paper work for your doctor visits and everything. i hope this helps and ur boss is a real asshole! sorry to hear about all that.!

Mommy of 4 · Answer

If you have a personal manager go talk to him/her. They can tell you exactly how many sick days you have and have used. Tell them your issues that's what they are there for.

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does your boss make you feel bad that you are pregnant?

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