Joke Contest ... receive your 10 points withing 24 hours.?

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"

A man and his wife are going through a bitter divorce. He has an apartment and returns to get some of his things. As soon as he enters the house she starts in on him about how terrible he has made her life and so on and so on. He holds up his hands and tells her he's not listening to this talk he's going to the attic and gather up some of his stuff. While going through a box of items they bought while in India he runs across a lamp. Rubbing the dust from it produces a cloud that turns into the divorce genie. You will be granted 3 wishes but what ever you receive your wife will receive twice as much. Well he thinks awhile and asks for a big nice home and a porch in the driveway. Two pieces of paper fall at his feet. A deed and title. And for your second wish asks the genie? I want 5 million dollars. A puff of smoke produces a small book in his hand. A swiss bank account book in his name with 5 million dollars in it. And now for your 3rd wish? remember your wife will receive twice as much. After thinking several minutes on this wish he tells the genie he knows just what he wants. He tells the genie to beat him half to death.

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: "Watson, look up at the stars and tell me, what do you see?"

Watson replied: "I see millions and millions of stars."

Holmes said: "And what do you deduce from that?"

Watson replied: "Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it's quite likely there are some planets like earth out there. And if there are a few planets like earth out there, there might also be life."

And Holmes said: "Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent."

This guy goes to a super market and goes to isle 12 and asks for a box of condoms.

The lady askes "what size" and the guy says "I don't know" so the lady askes him to pull down his pants.

The lady tugs a few times and says "you need a box of x-large condoms".

So this guy hears behind him and he asks for a box of condom's, and the lady says "what size" and the guy says I don't know.

So the lady asks him to pull down his pants.

The lady tugs a few time and says "get a box of medium condoms"

So this teenager in isle 11 hears and wants some of the action.

So he goes to isle 12 and asks "can I have a box of condoms"

The lady asks "what size" and the teenage says "I don't know"

So the lady asks him to pull down his pants .

When he does, the lady tugs a few times, stands up and announces "Clean up in isle 12"

Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home.

The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, "These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties." "That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station, Well never forget you!'

i have something else, its not a joke but i think its funny, its a saying "Bowling balls are like whores you pick them up and finger them throw them into the gutter and they come back for more."

Okay, so this joke takes a LOT of concentration...it's short, but one 'really has to think about it'...

Q. What's black and white and red all over?

A. A busload of burning nuns going over a cliff...hahaha...

(You'd appreciate it if you had been to a school that had nuns...lol...)

same here....i held a contest but it cost me 20 points because the contest was deleted(i made 2) the reason why it gets deleted is because it doesnt ask a question. stupid right? but dont worry, ur not the only deleted soul in this planet

best of luck

blonde joke:

a blonde was mad about blonde jokes, so she died her hair brunette. later she was driving threw the country and saw a farmer with a bunch of sheep. "aww those sheep are so cute!" thought the brunette (blonde), so she pulled over. "if i can guess how many sheep you have...can i have one?" said the brunnette (blonde) "ok" said the farmer. "ummm....187 sheep??" the "brunette" guessed. she was right! so the farmer told her to pick out a sheep and she did and put it in her car. then the farmer said " if i guess your real hair color, can i have my dog back?"

well i know a few mama jokes but you know i really shouldn't be back talking your mom i mean literally she'd give me the HAIR of her back.

I already ask this and my question got deleted...

If u don want to lose 10 points... delete it now it only costs u 5 points...

edit: i got reported for "chatting".. Just warning.. =\