Can you find the missing letter......?????????/?

There was a father and son who were always in competition with each other. One day the son left to take an entrance exam at a university. He wanted to major in medicine. A week later he returned from his trip looking very down in the dumps.

"How was the exam?" asked his father.

"They asked quite a lot of 'Fill in the missing letter' questions about first aid and stuff. I got a score of 75%. It wasn't good enough to get accepted," the boy replied.

"Well in that case I better take that exam myself," the father said. So off to the university he went. A week later the father returned from his trip looking very down in the dumps.

"How was the exam?" asked his son.

"They asked quite a lot of 'fill in the missing letter' questions about first aid and I got them all wrong but one."

"Gee, Dad. Which question was that?"

"The question was...", started the father, "What do you do when you come across a lady which has fainted. You feel her PU_S_ ?"

"That's easy", the son replied. "The answer is pulse."

"Oh, hell," said the father," I got that one wrong as well."

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Little Johnny and Susie were only 10 years old, but they just knew that they were in love.

One day they decided that they wanted to get married, so Johnny went to Susie's father to ask him for her hand.

Johnny bravely walked up to him and said, "Mr. Smith, me and Susie are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage."

Thinking that this was the cutest thing, Mr. Smith replied, "Well Johnny, you are only 10. Where will you two live?"

Without even taking a moment to think about it, Johnny replied, "In Susie's room. It's bigger than mine and we can both fit there nicely."

Still thinking this is just adorable; Mr. Smith said with a huge grin, "Okay then how will you live? You're not old enough to get a job. You'll need to support Susie."

Again, Johnny instantly replied, "Our allowance... Susie makes 5 bucks a week and I make 10 bucks a week. That's about 60 bucks a month, and that'll do us just fine."

By this time Mr. Smith was a little shocked that Johnny had put so much thought into this. So, he thought for a moment trying to come up with something that Johnny wouldn't have an answer for.

After a second, Mr. Smith said, "Well Johnny, it seems like you have got everything all figured out. I just have one more question for you. What will you do if the two of you should have little ones of your own?"

Johnny just shrugged his shoulders and said, "Well, we've been lucky so far...."

..........................

One day, Little Johnny's teacher asked the class, "Children, if you know the answer, please raise your hand! Tell me things you can suck!"

"Ice cream, ma'am!" Little Mary answered.

"Good, Jane." teacher said, "Anyone else?"

"How about a lollipop?" said Steven.

"Very good, now it's your turn Johnny!" the teacher said.

Little Johnny, sitting at back then answered, "A lamp!"

The teacher and all of the students wondered about Little Johnny's answer.

Then the teacher asked him, "Johnny, why do you think one can suck a lamp?"

"Well, last night when I passed my parents' bedroom", Little Johnny answered, "I heard my mom say, turn off the lamp, honey and let me suck it."

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Fu@king ants

A priest comes out of the church to find Little Johnny sitting on the steps killing ants by smashing them with his thumb, saying, "******* ants," with each smash.

"What are you doing!?!?!"

"I'm killing these ******* ants."

Visibly upset, the priest sits next to Johnny, "My son, don't you know that it is wrong to harm any of God's creatures? God created every living being and it is a sin to kill any of them, including ants."

Johnny thinks about this a minute and says, "But these ants don't do anything. They just bother people."

The priest responds, "Everything in life has a purpose my son, including these ants. I want you to go home and think about that. In fact, I challenge you to come back here in one week and see if you can think of three things in life that do not have a purpose."

One week passes and the priest emerges from the church to find Little Johnny sitting on the steps, smashing ants with his thumb, reciting the same "******* ants" phrase.

Rushing over to him, the priest says, "My son, I thought I told you that everything has a purpose and it is a sin to interfere with that purpose! Why are you killing these ants? Did you do as I instructed? Were you really able to think of three things in life that do not have a purpose?"

Little Johnny looks up at the priest and says, "Yeah, I thought of three things that don't have a purpose. **** on a nun, Balls on a priest and these ******* ants !"