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I'm feeling a familiar lonely sadness, how can I avoid the usual self destructive behavior?

I'm feeling really lonely. I am procrastinating a philosophy paper that just feels like busy work. I don't want to screw up this semester. I am supposed to graduate. But I'm underwhelmed. It's all been busy work and sometimes it's hard to see the forest through all these gawl dam trees.

My guy lives two hours away. We only see each other once a month. My best friends are kinda flaky on again off again. My family is bitter no matter how nice I am. My mom barely has a pulse she's like the ice queen. I try to be that happy go lucky down to earth girl. I even make small talk in class but friendships are never forged and people seem so serious all the time.

Every thing is such a downer lately. It just makes me want to get drunk and high and give the world the finger. I'm a talented artist so it might not be out of the question. But I'm trying to conform to society and do the right thing and make my parents happy and graduate. I have a job but that sucks too. I'm really close to saying dam it all and I need some words of encouragement. How do I get through this without exploding? How do I get through this without trashing my last semester of college?

Update:

I guess I'm trying to say that I'm about to go mental and throw away my last semester of college.

Haven't you ever been so detached that you thought hey it might be a good idea to moon strangers? My life is bland, I'm bored, and lonely, yet for the sake of others I conform. How can I let loose without going completely mental?

5 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    keep your head up no matter what

    the semester is almost over

    believe me time flies

    you"ll look upon this stressful period

    a no go zone later and think why did i wind myself up over it ,so chill out,relax,make art and your world will come together,i know i been there and done it too. Just go out and do yoga,for the mind,spirit,body.

    I usually relax by writing stuff that unwinds me,just doing free flowing thoughts that don't always make sense but make me happy,especially when they rile up people who hate the illogical aspects. To me non sensible stuff is just a way of unwinding from a pure logical,structured,tense world.

    I keep a picture of Jesus on the wall

    its like a thorn in my side

    harboring thoughts I"m not in love

    its just a silly phase I"m going through

    he told me he's not in love with me

    he"s not in love with you

    I"ve got a broken head

    I"ve got a brokn heart

    nothing too serios

    I give her another cool chilled Pepsi

    From an old broken down fridge

    To keep her quite

    Make her highway dreams come true

    to stop her walking off with

    the other guy

    The clouds were low and hairy in the skies,

    like bollocks blown forward in the gleam of eyes.

    The walls began to fall

    Planes began to crash

    a parrot began to wail

    At school they all move past me

    looking like cars all stuffed with eyes

    On the sidewalk was yesterday's paper

    , an ink-stained sponge

    deciphering syllables

    wondering around like a lost dog

    Little women with blue bow ties go out

    Shopping,

    contemplating delicate little boxes of dust

    The news that ignited his face snuffed out her smile.

  • 1 decade ago

    First of all, thank you very much for your answer. We all need to go a little crazy sometimes. I realize that you posted this a day ago and so much can happen in a day. I'm not sure if you are at the same place today. I say ease up a little. Your last semester of college! Wow what a great thing you've done! You deserve to get to go at the pace you want now! You have been working very hard for all these years and I am proud that you made it this far. If encouragement to push push push (academically) is what you are looking for...sorry, you won't get that advice from me. I guess I'm not that good or ambitious. I would advise, if possible to quit your job so you're not so overworked! Do your best but don't stress. Go out by yourself some place this weekend like a club and just go crazy! You don't have to drink and do drugs to go crazy! Have fun! You've made it this far, you won't blow it! :)

    If worse comes out of worse and you have to repeat a couple of classes... big deal!

  • Anonymous
    5 years ago

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  • 1 decade ago

    So if i'm right your graduating this year. Way i see it you should just do what you need to do to get it over with. And plus those graduation parties would only be fun if you actually graduate. (;

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    What exactly are you trying to say, you are not making any sense?

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