Janesays

I've had very controlling parents all my life. They have binding obligations over me. I've mostly resented their plans but gone along with them because of obligation. Now that I graduated from college I found a job in the city but it wasn't good enough for them. I had my own plans to work and pay my way through one more year of school but they won't allow it. So they have offered to pay my way through another year of school if I stay here and don't take the job in the city. I've taken them up on the school offer but I feel so immobilized. They have never been emotionally available for me but easily open their pocketbooks. I'm incredibly sad. The love of my life is in the city. I know it would be best for us if I kept my distance from him for just a little longer while he finishes school. But I don't have any support here. My family is icy. My boyfriend is far away. I need to be strong but just don't have any support right now anywhere. How do I find the strength in my loneliness?

I died my hair medium clove ash brown and I love it. But it's semi permanent and starting to fade already.

Is it bad to dye my hair again already, it's only been a couple of weeks?

Will it damage my hair to dye it again so soon?

Now that I've found the color that I like is it possible to find more permanent color?

I've never really dyed my hair before and I want to do it right. Should I let it all wash out before I dye it again? How can I keep the color this time?

I sleep at night and wake up in the morning lately and then I get really sleepy again and fall back asleep for most of the day. It's the holidays and I'm unemployed. But I need to start feeling more lively so I can get my resume together. What is wrong with me?

Here are a few things I think it might be.

I normally take Adderall for ADD and sometimes I skip days- those are the days I'm usually zonked.

I don't remember my dreams at night or when I take my Adderall although I dream vividly during the day.

Maybe I have sleep apnea. I'm not overweight though.

My diet.

My thyroid.

My depression.

What could it be?

What exactly do you believe when it comes to a few things like....

Jesus

Muhammad

Prophets

NKJV Bible

Alchohol

Marriage

Christmas

I'm dating a guy who grew up Bahai, and he doesn't really practice but the beliefs are well ingrained and it's confusing when we try to celebrate Christmas, or understand forgiveness, or humility, or prayer. I just need help understanding what the individual practices and beliefs are of a Bahai person.

Flobots-Rise kind of political

Indigo Girls-Closer

Art = Philosophy but I want specifics.

What would make me happy is moving into a warm comfortable climate and finding an awesome job because I just graduated college.

It's not beyond the scope of possibility, so don't tell me to get real.

But I'm in a relationship-long distance. He says he wants to marry me and father my kids but he will go for several days without even calling me. Yes I call him excessively as a reaction to this but it's upsetting to me that he goes about without giving me the time of day or a simple phone call.

It's also not just me he ignores. He ignores fines, and bills. He ignores big time responsibilities. I sense that he is trying but it's often that he wont answer or call because he is out drinking.

So I have the option of moving closer to him and it not working out or it working out wonderfully. OR I have the option of moving further away, which seems more appropriate given the way he's been treating me lately. What should I do?

-Long distance relationship

-He makes excuse that he "can't talk" -poker night -drinking (work is understandable)

-I get upset

-I call 100 times He doesn't answer

-He doesn't call back or answer for SEVERAL DAYS

-In the meantime I am wrecked inside and feel ignored and things escalate

-Once our convo dropped and his phone died-broke but I thought he was mad

I didn't hear from him for 4 DAYS-he has face book and didn't even think to write me.

I need him to call and talk to me every day, I need him to call me back, and I need him to not say that he "can't talk" because he is going to be playing poker or hanging with friends or drinking. I think he can talk for 5 minutes we live 95 miles away and don't get to see each other.

Am I being selfish? Or is he being selfish?

I'm just dying inside, feeling like this, I think I need to cut myself off from communicating with him, which won't be a problem-my phone broke. Merry Christmas Right!

P/s I just graduated college this isn't some h.s teen drama.

I have light skin and dark grey eyes. My hair is medium brown with a slight copper tinge. I want to go more chocolate brown. I really like Ginnifer Goodwin's colorings in the pic below

http://www1.pictures.gi.zimbio.com/Ginnifer+Goodwi...

How do I get this color I'm afraid to do it at home, should I just brave it out? What is a good brand of hair color?

Has anyone else gone chocolate brown? Did you like it?

Do you see any imbalance of power/expectations in your friendships, work, professional or personal relationships with men? Men same question?

Tidbit-

My bf hasn't called in 3 days and he hung up on me last time. I may have injured his pride by mentioning that I pay for dinner all the time and he should cough it up a lil. I refuse to call him! I know he won't answer because it makes him feel powerful making me suffer. I always take the blame and I'm not always to blame. I don't think that he's ever called me after a fight. How long should I wait? He knows I hate leaving things unresolved like this and I think he is just doing it to hurt me and feel in control.

Most boring and repetitive workplaces where there is less mental involvement with the work there is almost always more drama. I can't stand this. Has anyone else noticed this or is it just me?

and

What is your general reaction to drama at the work place?

Do you think it is better to find fulfilling work or to create interesting and complicated relationships at work?

And how does it complicate your relationships? What should someone do if they are in a relationship with someone who is passive aggressive?

I asked my boyfriend for money/labor to help fix something. I figure it this way, I buy dinner every time we go out, I paid for our vacation, and he said he would help me fix this thing. He hung up on me when he heard this and I've called him obsessively. Maybe I shouldn't be so quick to apologize. I am always the one to resolve things. He has a major passive aggressive personality problem, I'm coming to realize.

Why is it so difficult to hold him accountable for anything? Do you think he will ever call and apologize? Or am I asking for to much from someone like him?

I don't want to purchase or download any antivirus software. I am on a mac and things are supposed to be built in.

BUT I opened a questionable facebook message- hyperlink today. It let me to open a fake you tube vid and downloaded an .exe on my desktop.

I trashed it but how can I'm make sure my system is ok preferably manually? Can I view the operating code on my applications and look at something that would alert me to a virus/spyware/worm etc? Is there some way I can check my OS manually?

I'm a senior in college not high school just to clarify. Although what I heard today was straight out of junior high.

Before lecture began in the small, quiet, nearly empty classroom two guys were making vulgar sexually explicit comments. I'm not talking PG-13, but violent and demeaning comments that were offensive to me as a woman.

It horrified me to think that I could possibly hear these kinds of remarks at an institution of higher learning. I felt embarrassed and naive.

There was one other girl who heard what was said and she responded to their comments with false nervous laughter.

I shot her a look, there is no way any women would be okay hearing what they said.

It was the equivalent of making a racist and violent comment knowing that two black men are present in the room aware that they can hear you but knowing they are outnumbered.

Should I have said something? What would you all have said? I'm still angry and want to take action. Do you have any ideas for what I can do?

My boyfriend of a year and a half said "I love you and I want to marry you," really soon after we started dating. It took some time but I fell for him and eventually said it back. Just recently I told him that I didn't want to hear anything about marriage again until he had a ring in his hand. Do you think this was too harsh?

I am not the girl who brings the guy to the diamond store 'just to try them on.' But hearing it all the time made me annoyed so I challenged him and he kind of freaked. He admitted that we had a few years ahead of us. We live 2hrs apart and he's in school. I want to move nearer to him when I graduate this winter.

Was it a bad idea for me to tell him to drop it?

Am I being too difficult?

Would he still be as inclined to proposing to me if we already live together?

How will he know my ring size if I don't drag him to a diamond store?

I think I am doing the right thing because he is the kind of guy who will talk about something forever and never actually do it.

I didn't start to feel it until I sat down then when I stood up I had a sharp pain in my low back. It's a deep sharp pain. There is nothing that stood out in my mind today that I see as a direct cause but I am doing a housekeeping job right now so I am bent over a lot scrubbing things then when I stand up straight my lower back is stiff. This movement is unavoidable at my job so I tend to ignore it which is a little easier when I'm warmed up and moving around but not so much now that I'm at home trying to get comfortable. I have been doing moderately physical labor for about 5 years and I want to take care of my back because I like being active and physically fit and healthy. I'm graduating college soon so hopefully I can get a job that doesn't involve too much more lifting or wear on my back.

In the meantime should I report this to work? What stretches can I do? What should I avoid? I also have a problem sitting for too long then standing up. Is this just something better posture could fix?

Sometimes I feel an intense hatred for my body and it's ability to reproduce. I'm 25. My hormones and my body seem to desire pregnancy. For some reason I'm more easily aroused during ovulation, and when I get my period I'm relieved yet strangely sad. I cannot stand the thought of bearing children or becoming a womb. I don't think I will ever want to have children. Does anyone else ever feel this way? Does this have something to do with how maternal I am? Am I just being selfish? What if I get married and decide not to 'give' my husband children? In what sense do men instinctually desire maternal women? Am I just with the wrong man? How does the desire to reproduce factor in subconsciously when looking for a partner?

I'm extremely tired a week or sometimes more before I get my period. Why does this happen? Is there anything I can do about it? Why do people refer to PMS as being 'that' time of the month when it happens way before a period even starts?

Men, has a woman ever attempted to be your friend?

Have you maintained a friendship with the member of the opposite sex even though you know they were not interested in becoming more than friends? If so how often did you speak to each other?

Women, has a man ever attempted to be your friend? Do you have different expectations from a guy friend than a girlfriend? How do you interact differently with your male friends as compared to your female friends? Have you ever found it difficult to be friends with a guy because he became attracted to you? Have you ever found it hard to stay in contact with your guy friends and feel like they aren't interested in keeping in touch with you?

long boring story and reason I'm curious:

More often than not women write all over my boyfriends facebook wall call him and text him. They usually are begging him to come visit because he moved 2 hours away and he did some serious partying before he left which is how these friendships formed. I was not invited to these parties and he was definitely keeping me separate from his social life this summer. He wanted nothing to do with me when he was here and everything to do with me now that he's two hours away. I'm not the jealous type and I do have successful friendships with other men but I don't expect the same type of interactions that these girls seem to expect. I suspect that they may be very immature or have naive expectations about the nature of mutual friendship between a man and a women.

I'm feeling really lonely. I am procrastinating a philosophy paper that just feels like busy work. I don't want to screw up this semester. I am supposed to graduate. But I'm underwhelmed. It's all been busy work and sometimes it's hard to see the forest through all these gawl dam trees.

My guy lives two hours away. We only see each other once a month. My best friends are kinda flaky on again off again. My family is bitter no matter how nice I am. My mom barely has a pulse she's like the ice queen. I try to be that happy go lucky down to earth girl. I even make small talk in class but friendships are never forged and people seem so serious all the time.

Every thing is such a downer lately. It just makes me want to get drunk and high and give the world the finger. I'm a talented artist so it might not be out of the question. But I'm trying to conform to society and do the right thing and make my parents happy and graduate. I have a job but that sucks too. I'm really close to saying dam it all and I need some words of encouragement. How do I get through this without exploding? How do I get through this without trashing my last semester of college?