Am I out of line as a nanny? Or is there such thing as Nanny Ethics?

I think that it is absolutely fine that you feel the way you do and you are not out of line at all. You are the nanny; you said you have discussed goals with the mother and it sounds like you are a really great one and trying to get through certain skills with the child that the mother seems to be careless about. The only problem with the situation is getting through to the mother. If I were you, I would search for another child to nanny and in your description make sure you clarify that you would like the parent to work with you in the certain areas that you work with their children. Maybe if you tender your resignation, your current employer will make it easier for you to explain to her why you are unhappy and you can either work it out with her or possibly have another family lined up. good luck!

It sounds like you may be rushing things or working too hard before he's ready. Why not offer the cup, but don't make a big deal out of it and let him use a bottle if he insists. The bottle and pacifier are great sources of comfort.

My little guy gave up the pacifier on his own by 16 months. For a few months before that, he only had it to sleep.

As for the bottle, why not say it's a bottle for meals and a sippy cup with snacks? Or the opposite?

Like someone else wrote, until the parents are on board it's hard to do it alone. I'm sure he won't still be drinking from bottles and sucking a pacifier by the time he enters kindergarten! :D

I'm a nanny too, and I feel your pain (the 3yr old I watch STILL takes a bottle at night...grrr) I would make sure you let MB know you feel like she's undoing all your progress. She may not realize how frustrating this is for you. If you have an open discussion about how this makes you feel, and nothing changes, then I wouls consider starting the search for a new family. Good luck!

You are a good nanny to care but it isn't right that you are judging her parenting skills. I would not want a nanny that judged me, as a mom. You don't really know what's going on when you aren't there. If baby was laying down, sick, fussy and not really happy with it - the paci and bottle may have really been the thing that soothed him. I appreciate your enthusiasm, but ultimately you are not the mom. Working on him with words, playing etc are all fine things to do. You can't really *undo* those things. As far as working on bottle and paci, I would leave that to mom.

It's just like being a step-mom you do what you can do and try your hardiest but at the end of the day you have to just let it all go. He will eventually drink out of a cup, ect. so it's really not a big deal. It's just like my son he is almost 10 months. Sure I would like him to drink from a cup but I don't push it too much. I know he will eventually it's not like at 30 yo he's still going to have a bottle. lol

I have been a nanny for over 18yrs,believe me,in every job you will find resistance at some point,over bottles,potty training,feeding,bed/nap times. It is important to remember,you are doing as the parents want you to do,if they express an interest in moving them along,in your time help your charge to achieve this,he will eventually get it and be super with you,and perhaps when his parents see his achievements,this will inspire them do it too. If you plan to do this as a career,remember to always be as Professional when on duty and when your not there,well it's not your concern,good luck

You're being idealistic and that is fine for you, but in the long run this child is not yours and his mother is not supporting your attempts at breaking him from a bottle...I agree with YOUR mother...do your job and take care of the baby...when his parents are ready to reinforce getting rid of the bottle on the weekends then begin breaking him...until then you are banging your head on a brick wall.