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How should I handle dating a guy who is a recent widower? She died 6 weeks ago, after a long illness. ?

Update:

They were married for over 26 years, and she was diagnosed with cancer a year ago. I like him very much, but I am concerned that he is rushing himself. I don't want pass up a chance at happiness because of the calendar, but I also want to make sure that he lets himself process what he's been through in a healthy way. I am trying to keep it friendly with a little romantic edge to it, but he is VERY anxious to get more involved. I don't want EITHER of us to get hurt. We are not kids, obviously. (We are both over 50)

Update 2:

If I let him decide the pace of things,I'd be moving in with him next month. That is WAY too fast to move. He has NO family left, and I think he's very lonely. I guess what I want to know is how to show him that my reluctance to get more serious is about giving him the space to grieve, not about not being interested.

9 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Being that she had a prolonged illness he is probably better off than widower who's spouse died unexpectedly. I am sure even before her death he had moved on. And if she was in pain it probably may have even brought a little relief. His life has been on hold and I am sure he is ready to live again. Let him set the pace and you cant go wrong.

    He has had a brush with mortality and may just realize that life is short make all you can of it while you can. Tomorrow is not promised to any of us.

  • 1 decade ago

    I don't think you should be dating him at all. Six weeks isn't a long time. He needs time to deal with his grief. Help him through the grieving process but you should hold out on anything else until he has at least grieved. I never understood how people jump into the next relationship so fast but if it works for you - go for it. Good luck!

  • 1 decade ago

    You should be really careful in that situation. 6 weeks is a short time. If he's still in mourning how is he able to focus on his relationship with you? Give it some time and you probably shouldn't expect to much from him right now.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    he didn;t mourn for very long did he?

    6 weeks and he's out dating already? that in itself is way too fast

    and don;t even consider marriage or moving in together until you have dated at least a year

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  • 1 decade ago

    Wow, she died 6 weeks ago and he is already dating???? I would be careful with that one... he isn't going to be ready to commit right away, and if he is I would be worried because that is REALLY fast even though it was a long illness.

  • 1 decade ago

    woo! 6 weeks is really soon, u should try jus being a support right now,the relationship will come in time though,be patient

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Ugh that's creepy, even if she was sick for a long time it's not right for him to be dating already. That's only a month and a half...wrong.

  • You shouldn't be trying to date him for a while yet.

  • 1 decade ago

    50 i would just try to be his firend and be there for him

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