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Sarahz
Lv 7
Sarahz asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 1 decade ago

How to tell your sister she's crazy...in a nice way?

We have had issues with one sister in particular our whole lives (we're all older than 23) - there are three other sisters and we're fed up. She is rude to everyone when she starts assuming we're being "mean" to her, she twists stories about what happened to make it seem like she was being treated unfairly, and she is jealous of all of us. We all know she has insecurity issues about herself and that is why she acts the way she does- so we've decided to have a sort of intervention. I am going to try to get her to come over to a location to talk with everyone about the most recent issue that happened but we're gonna let her have it about everything. And of course she will feel like we're "attacking her" (which is what she says any time anyone comments on her actions) but how can we all walk away after this knowing she understands that she needs to change or to get some psychological help?

Update:

again- we are all adult women into our 30s. We have been nice, tried talking with her, and our parents want a confrontation also- they can't deal with her anymore either. I am looking for real answers here of how to help our sister- we want to be able to have a regular family gathering without having to worry about every little thing we say and how she will turn our words into something mean about her. Ex: mom saying "someday we'll have a grand-daughter" she takes that persoanly to her since she has three boys. well our other sisters have sons and they don't take it persoanlly. It's just little things like that that add up to us not wanting her to be around to ruin our good times, and we don't want it to be like that anymore- we want her to be a happier person which she is not.

Update 2:

edit: I will be telling her that I think we should all get together to talk about things, I wouldn't be just inviting her somewhere then everyone is there- she would know about it beforehand - we're not mean like that!!! : )

5 Answers

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  • Dovahkiin
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Try starting out by telling her you all love her and want her to be a part of a positive sister relationship. Ask her why she feels so negative toward all of you. She might have a good reason. Ask her to be honest. Listen with eyes and ears open. Make sure you dont get defensive about what she says.

    No matter how it turns out tell her you will continue to love her and want things to be good between you. You could also all try counseling together as a group. Suggest that to her.

  • Samantha
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    well, first of all, telling someone they are crazy, will only make them more defensive. telling someone they are crazy is not a compliment! secondly, it sounds like you are all ganging up on her and thats so not fair! have you considered having your mom talk to her and/or suggesting the name of a good counselor. I dont think that all of you need to tell her what shes doing wrong, this could make things MUCH worse. if she is as unstable and insecure as you say, she may chose to harm herself and you dont really want that do you?

    i hope that one of the sisters can sit her down and tell her how she is hurting everyone, without making a big production of it all. She has feelings too, even if she has hurt yours, its probably a reciprocal of something you did to her, knowingly or not!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    doing an "intervention" about someone's personality is ridiculous. If she has severe insecurities and you do that then you're only proving her right in "ganging up on her". Usually people like that always have one person they listen to more than anyone else. Figure out who that is and have them talk to her in a constructive way to let her know her behavior is pushing away those who care about her the most. And don't call her names!

  • Yogi
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    She doesn't sound crazy. She sounds manipulative and insecure. And of course getting her to come to a location so you and your sisters can rip into her is going to put her on the defensive. It would with anyone.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    2 points to much drama!!! Tell her shes crazy your family be blunt and move on with your lives

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