R&P, Chuck Norris facts?

Haha these are good. Although 3 of them were already taken, sorry =(

MQ: In Flames. Followed by Children of Bodom and Eternal Tears of Sorrow

MY PERSONAL FAVOURITES If you have $5 and Chuck Noris has $5, Chuck Norris has more money than you. There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise. Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice. Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head. When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down. Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door. Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves. What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe. Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis. Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5. Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

Defiantly some good ones in there, though I think I may have heard the pi one before somewhere...

I really laughed at "When Chuck Norris crosses the street, the cars look both ways."- short, sweet, and gets the point across.

So...can Chuck Norris make actual money off of Monopoly?

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live

The Signature move of Chuck Norris is The Roundhouse Kick.. Because he would totally own your face with it..

Nice ones you got there by the way!!

Chuck norris uses hot sauce as eye drops.

The movie alien vs pedator was a biograpy about chuck norris 1st sex experience.

The reason why some girls are Bi are because they havent had a little chuck norris!!

Every time the boogeyman goes to sleep he goes into his closet to check if chuck norris is not there.

Chuck norris took a whole bottle of sleeping pills,he blinked.

Hilarious, dude. I love Chuck Norris jokes.

MA: The only one that I like is Children of Bodom.

Chuck Norris's house doesn't burn down. Unless he told it to.

Who would insult Chuck Norris in the first place?

The one about Pi...good.

How could it ruin the economy? He wouldn't lose the game, of course. He'd make millions.

:)

MQ: Amorphis

You sure you didn't get these from the official Chuck Norris facts site?

you know how Jesus can walk on water?? Chuck Norris can swim on land!!!

Chuck Norris just been in a "Who Has More Testicles" challenge against Lance Armstrong.....Chuck Norris won by 5.

LOL

Pretty good but the second one is too long to be properly effective, try shortening it a bit other than that, great.

MA: i don't listen to much melodic death metal. But melodic HARDCORE is a different story.