What's my problem or diagnosis? ?

Question

I fast all the time, because I'm unhappy with my body shape. So I range from 105 to two digit numbers, weekly. I'm not anorexic, however, because I'm too fat to be.

I do drugs all the time, because I want to suppress my appetite, but every time I snort a pill, I always come into a bad situation (ODing, rape, etc..) I also enjoy just being messed up and speedy. The harder the drug, the happier I am. I've done meth, coke, crack, (clearly) marijuana, salvia, opium, and different variations of pills.

I've stayed in my house before for months, because I feel so disgusting and ugly all the time. I always think everyone is pointing out my flaws, so I refrain from looking at them when socializing.

I had an emotionally abusive boyfriend, whom I was in love with and he didn't even care. He cheated on me all the time, but would complain when I'd break up with him. Doing the "pity" act and so forth. Instead of apologizing, he blames it on me; "What's wrong with you? I'm the best thing for you and you're just running away. Maybe that's why you have such low self esteem."

I fasted for 14 days one time and my dad said, "you need to take care of your body. You're going to end up in the hospital and that's money we don't have." He didn't care, he was more concerned with how much money I was costing. As long as I'm not my highly successful sister, then I'm as good as dead to him.

Well I dropped out of school and had a reputation for a being a slut, when I was still a virgin. I've never had self respect, but I don't sleep around with people I don't particularly care for. People just choose to pick on me at random, and I don't understand why. I've been "raped" (I mean by date rape drugs or passed out from alcohol, never completely sober) by friends or people I didn't really know, 4 different times. I basically feel worthless as a person. 

I'm just a very unhappy individual. Based on what I've told you, can you determine if I have a sort of diagnosis or problem? I feel that I do, but I really hate to be labeled and classified into a certain category. Now I just don't care, I would really like to know.

blackjackg · Accepted Answer

According to the current Body Mass Index (BMI) for you to be under 100 pounds and be considered anything other than underweight, you'd have to be less than 5 feet tall.  If you are 4'11" and weigh 99 pounds, you might be in the low end of normal, but there is no way (NO WAY) that you are considered scientifically or medically fat.  I think you need to open your mind to the idea that you could be anorexic and that your brain could be playing tricks on you.  Seek help immediately.

Drug abuse (and yes, it is abuse) and abusive relationships are indicative of problems, but they aren't psychological diagnoses in thesmselves.  My best guess is that you're suffering from extremely low self-esteem.  It's a dangerous lifestyle (which you know - four rapes is completely ridiculous, not to mention psychologically devastating).  You have to start making better choices in your life or you will have no life left.  This means: a) stop doing drugs, b) leave your abusive boyfriend, and c) try and build some healthy relationships with your family, friends, partners and community.

Do not let this thing beat you.  Seek help immediately because you can't do this alone.  You can make your life better!

Anonymous · Answer

If this is your only symptom--taking life a little too seriously and mildly obsessing over frustrating situations--then you don't have a mental illness. You're normal. It's just a character flaw that many of us have. You could have an anxiety disorder or OCD, but it's hard to tell from your description. As for how you move on, just let yourself get angry. Give yourself permission to do that, but with a time limit. Maybe you're getting so angry because 1) you're easily stressed and 2) you didn't stand up to that snotty clerk.

Anonymous · Answer

No one on this site can or should try to label or diagnose you. 

Anyone who CAN will not, because it would be unethical.

Anyone who DOES is incompetent to do so, and you should not listen to them.

From what you say, it sounds to me that you should make an appointment very soon to talk with a psychologist or psychiatrist.

-- Dr. Bob, Adlerian Psychologist

evil genius at work · Answer

you have not been surronded by people who truly care(just your choice of friends,your ex) but your dad is just saying that hospital bills are expensive. respect yourself not just to gain respect,but to love yourself to want the best for YOU. get off drugs and see that helps. if it prolongs,see about therapy. GOOD LUCK!

Anonymous · Answer

Oh, honey, I just want to give you a hug. Dr. Bob is right. Talk to someone. You are worth it.

Anonymous · Answer

Well i cant diagnose you but It sounds like you need God I will be praying for you try praying

Anonymous · Answer

you got to get out of this rut!!! 
www.coping.org!

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What's my problem or diagnosis? ?

7 Answers