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Lila
Lila asked in Arts & HumanitiesPoetry · 1 decade ago

Does anybody like this poem I wrote?

The Ending Has Just Begun

By: Me, of course

Gone are the days of happiness,

Gone are the days of fun,

Gone are the days of joyfulness,

Now those days are done

Gone are the days of love and romance,

Gone are the days of faith and hope,

Gone are the days of willingness to dance,

All washed away with soap

Here are the days of the moon,

Here are the days of no sun,

Darkness will fall over everything soon,

The ending has just begun

:)

Update:

thanks for all the answers. poet of the night, i appreciate the honesty. and diakonos_xristou, thanks for the advice. but please keep answering, i need opinions!!

Update 2:

as i look to my shattered heart,

lying in a mixture of blood and tears,

I wonder to myself,

Wasn't this one of my greatest fears?

To have my heart pushed aside,

as if of no value? as if of no worth?

But there is more to come,

And the rest is much worse

My already fallen heart,

has fallen with another,

But instead of clearing up my heart is stained with dirt,

A mark that lasts forever

It used to be about love,

hope,

happiness,

But no more

The last tear has dropped,

trying to erase the saddness

but in vain

I now understand this,

what people call love,

isn't that great,

for it always leads,

to a cut up and broken heart

I still can never look

around and tell myself,

I will not love

for love goes through everybody

And maybe it never goes out

6 Answers

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  • Poet of the night
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Huh?

    Sorry, I nodded off a bit there. Something about trying to follow the rhyme scheme when there were no metrics threw my brain off, and I was already tired.

    The only thing I can draw from this is that it's about a shower. The only reason I say that is because for some strange reason you threw soap into the equation. Now, I'm assuming that you didn't do that just to have a word that rhymes with soap. In fact, I'm more than hoping. I'm praying to every god that the people of this world believe in that you didn't. Because that would be stupid. And I'm assuming you're not stupid.

  • diakonos_xristou
    1 decade ago

    it sounds like a great start to a poem, but why has the ending just begun? tell us why this is happening, and how do you know - are you a prophet, insane, depressed, or possibly going blind?

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Hi, great work!!!! when reading the poem it felt sweet - keep writing and challenge your self expression. You have a talent so don't stop.

  • Sarah
    1 decade ago

    Ouu. That is a lovely poem:)

    Its really sweet too, nice work.

    LOVED IT!:)

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    i love it alot it really shows true emotion

  • jESSICA A
    1 decade ago

    nice poem ......................but not well improved.

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