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Some blondes jokes to brighten your day ?
1: A blonde woman is walking down the street, with her blouse open.
A cop is approaching from about a block away, thinking, "Boy, my eyes must be going, it looks like that woman's right breast is hanging out."
As he gets closer it becomes apparent that her breast is hanging out.
When he gets face to face with her he says, "Ma'am, are you aware I could cite you for indecent exposure?"
She says, "Why, officer?"
"Well, your breast is hanging out."
She looks down and says, "OH MY GOD, I left the baby on the bus!"
2:A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor.
The doctor asked her "What happened?"
She answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang, but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."
"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But what happened to your other ear?"
"The son of a b itch called back."
3: One day, a blonde's neighbor goes over to her house, sees the blonde crying, and asks her what happened. The blonde said that her mother had passed away. The neighbor made her some coffee and calmed her down a little and then left. The next day the neighbor went back over to the house and found the blonde crying again. She asked her why she was crying this time.
''I just got off of the phone with my sister, her mother died too!''
4: A blonde and a redhead were sitting together having drinks, when the blonde noticed a man walking towards them with an arm full of long stem red roses. The blonde says to the redhead, "isn't that your husband coming carrying all those roses?"
The redhead says, yes it is. The blonde responds by saying, "Oh you are so lucky". The redhead says, "No I'm not. All that means is that I have to spend the whole week-end flat on my back, with my legs in the air and spread apart."
The blonde says, "Oh my, don't you have a vase to put them in"?
14 Answers
- 1 decade agoFavorite Answer
thought the first one was funny but the last one was even better keep them coming :) ur cheerin me up havin a bad day in work :(
- 1 decade ago
All Blondes are not dumb: My blonde is intelligent
There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a Lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers, he'd give her $50.00. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted.
The lawyer first asked, "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?"
Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5. then the blonde asked, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?"
Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. He took several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde $50.00
The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, "What is the answer to your question?"
Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5.
- ?Lv 67 years ago
Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory? For throwing out all the W's.
Source(s): M&M upside down. - TheMadProfessorLv 71 decade ago
A traveling salesman hooks up with a rural blonde and talks her into coming back to his hotel room. As they're about to get busy, he takes out a condom and she starts screaming. "What's the matter? Haven't you ever seen one of these before?" "Yes, but not skinned!"
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- 1 decade ago
LMFAO halarious!!! I love the ones with the baby and the vase! you totally get a star! keep em coming
- Anonymous5 years ago
What a surprise you'll get when you look into a mirror for the first time.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
i liked them made me smile (=
haha
i liked the last one and the
1st one the best
- Anonymous1 decade ago
lol funny funny